The Writing on the Wall

I woke up this morning with a brilliant idea.  The boys were going to have breakfast I thought.  The girls might as well go have breakfast too.  I relayed my idea to Jason who reminded me that one of our daughters is not a morning person.  It would be perfect I rebuffed.

With a little persuasion...well a lot of persuasion,I got both girls in the car and we were off.  We had strawberry and cream cheese croissants and split a chocolate pastry too.  I grinned in victory as the girls wandered over to the painted- black chalkboard wall and basket filled with colored chalk.

For ten minutes they drew.  Curlicues and hearts started to fill the wall as my heart began to fill with gladness and pride.  I took pictures with my phone preserving such a sweet moment.

As we pulled in the driveway I reminded the girls that their rooms and bathroom needed to be cleaned before turning on TV or engaging in any other form of entertainment. I was met with little resistance. But there was a missing ipod and then an attempt on my part to be playful and before I knew it the morning had turned sour.

I had come to see the writing on the wall.

Warned that encroaching on the morning might not go well, an unpleasant interaction had now ensued.

I had tried so hard.

I often do.  I love my children so much that I make a Herculean effort to spend time with them, make them happy and help them be successful.  I encourage them to grow in their relationship with God and attempt to make their lives "perfect".

But as it says in Daniel 5:27,

You have been weighed on the scales and found wanting.

Surely you remember this story.  "MENE, MENE TEKEL, PARSIN"  These were the words that mysteriously appeared written on the wall by the fingers of a human hand as King Belshazzar gave a great banquet for a thousand of his nobles.

It was the perfect party that ended in doom.

I throw parties that start and end in that same way.  I often follow those parties with a party of another kind; a pity party.

I'm unappreciated.  They don't get it.  Am I just being moody?  What can I do to be a better parent?

The story in chapter five of Daniel is pretty depressing but it comes with a great lesson.  In fear from the writing on the wall, Daniel is summoned being recognized as one with great insight and wisdom.

I'm thankful for the insight that frequently comes to me reminding me that alone I'm insufficient.  And it's ok. I'm reminded time and time again that it is not in my power to create the perfect childhood for my kids.  I can not make myself into Super Mom.  Sometimes I mess up just like King B.- ROYALLY.  I try.  I love. But I also falter and fail.

I am not made to do this thing called "motherhood" on my own.

I have a husband so graciously given to me who is a sounding board and rock; who soothes my aching soul when I feel as if I've messed up everything.

I have friends who are sharing joys, but are also in the trenches with me.

There are ladies, sages with wisdom, who can help me through- not because they were the perfect parents.  They can help me because they've been there.

And most assuredly, God is ever before me.  He's reminding me that I'm not the perfect mom and that he never asked me to be.  He's reminding me that any inadequacy I have is just extra room for Him to work.

None of us are alone.

Despite the minor doom, I can say that I'm thankful for the breakfast lesson.

And for the writing on the wall.

-A picture of me

I'd love to hear from you in comments or email- kristiburden@gmail.com