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Rylie waited for Jason downstairs this morning, just as she does every morning.  Purple sneakers in her hands, she wanted her dad's help to tie her shoes.  She knows how to tie her shoes, but "they come undone when I tie them," she said.  "And Dad ties them much tighter than I can".

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I read Psalm 51 this morning just as 'my pastor' requested that the congregation do, every day this week.  I think David is on to something.  He seems to be waiting on His Father.  He is completely aware of his dependence on God; knowing that nothing good or lasting comes from our own effort.  Take a look.

Have mercy on me, O God,     according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion     blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity     and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,     and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;  you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

(I was imperfect at birth and remain incapable of right-living on my own.)

7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;     wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness;     let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence     or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation     and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,     so that sinners will turn back to you. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,     you who are God my Savior,     and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 Open my lips, Lord,     and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;     you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.

God I'm eager to do things right.  I want to be a good mom, a supportive wife, a loyal friend.  Help me to realize that being your daughter is the most important role I play.  Like floppy, undone laces, so is my life when I try to tie up messy ends on my own. Help me understand that it's your desire

to wash me

to create me

and renew me

You deliver me

and restore me

It's only when I make room for your work in me, that I really have anything to offer.  How humbling. Sometimes we just have to leave things undone and wait.  May I learn to wait for you just like Rylie waits for her daddy.  Help me to get the fact that you don't need my genius or effort; that you're making me into someone new, though the process is long. You don't need me to change the world.  You want me to allow your change in me.  Grant me patience and a gratefulness that you would do such a thing.

Amen.

 

 

My Dearest Daughter,

I snapped this picture of you yesterday knowing that it would be a busy day and photo (46)I might not get the chance later.  Yesterday was your first time to march in the parade with the band.  It was also your first time to get a Homecoming mum, so it was kind of a special day.  I know you weren't thrilled about having your picture made; selfies seem to be the only pictures you like to take lately.

I'm thinking that you subjected yourself to having your picture made because you had grace for your loving, overly excited mother who still wants to document your "firsts".  -Either that, or you knew I was about to find out what happened to my iPod and you were hoping I would remember this small kindness you showed me;  a sort of I'll grin and bear it, won't you too?

A little past 8:00 AM yesterday I read the letter you specified I read at that time.  So.  You spilled finger nail polish remover on my iPod and ruined it? And you let me know in a two page apology letter scheduled to be read while you were safe at school.  Well-played. A little sneaky, but well-played.

I will say that I'm proud of the way you're taking responsibility for the effect of your accident.  It's so easy to make a list of excuses of why it wasn't your fault.  Or you could just convince me that it was an accident that should go unpunished. It was, after all,  an accident.

It was unintentional like tripping, or spilling a drink, or forgetting an appointment, or locking your keys in your car.  Accidents don't require an apology, but I'm glad you're mindful that they go a long way in reaching out to the person affected by your accident.  Apologizing shows regret and concern. It doesn't insinuate intentionality.  I know my iPod is ruined, but not due to some act of disobedience or disrespect.

Shocked at my handling this so well? I'm pretty shocked myself.  I kept my cool, at least one other time, when your brother was about three. I'd just bought a dragonfly sun catcher.  Hayden picked it up, dropped it, and it broke, just like that!  From some well of wisdom, much deeper than my fickle but powerful emotions, I said, "It was just a thing; people are more important than things."  I think you've heard me say that very phrase a number of times.  Of course I'm probably saying it to you or your brother or sister. I forget to say it to myself sometimes.

Still we do best to take a good look at our blunders; thinking on how we might avoid them in the future-

like, say.... don't have an open container of nail polish remover near anything you don't want ruined

or always acknowledge that your keys are in your hands before you hit the lock button

Blunders are teachers.

Your letter showed me that you learned

that some messes can't be fixed

and that accidents can have effect on others; not just the one who made the mess.

You said you learned that you shouldn't "mistreat the privileges you're given" (by leaving the iPod by your bed).

and that offering to attempt to correct your mistake is always the right thing to do (even when the recipient of your offer seems unkind or unforgiving).

This was just an accident.  And all this learning you've done leaves me with little to do in this situation.  I think in the future, I'll just focus more on higher matters.

I'm putting in writing that I devote myself to attitudes and intentions (or lack thereof).  I am telling myself that things are things; that messes and mistakes happen.  And I'm reminding myself that even if a mess happens as a result of disobedience, I do best to focus on the attitude and not the mess.

God looks at the heart, and so should I.

Keep Marching Forward
Keep Marching Forward

 

Beauty is as Beauty Does
Beauty is as Beauty Does

Yesterday I'd lost an ipod.  But I watched my daughter growing in maturity and beauty. I'd say I gained.

Thanks for giving me permission to share this.  It's nice to learn from each other.

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I woke up extra early this morning thinking about trees. Don't ask me why.  And then my thinking about trees reminded me of a time without trees.

I attended West Texas A&M for a year of college. I was baffled at its flat, treeless landscape. I felt vulnerable there, out in the unprotected open.

I remember arriving with my parents,  and unloading our suburban. We carried my clothes and other belongings up echoing flights of stairs.  A tornado came through while my parents were there to move me in. We were caught unaware and had to park under an overpass while the sirens blared. But pass it did. And then they left.

That was a scary time.
Yes, the tornado, but also that entire year being subject to frightening new stuff. There were scary knowns and unknowns, like the unsupervised snake in the dorm hallway and the smell of incense used to cover up things I'd never been exposed to before. Then there was the girl who tried to shoplift at Gadzooks while I was with her at the mall until I promised her that I would tell the clerk.  Let's not forget the first few fire alarms in the middle of the night that suggested there was a real fire (before I figured out they were pulled "for fun").

Jason was attending the same school, but football and my classes and job schedule kept us both busy.  Still we traveled the grueling four-hundred miles home, dirty clothes in tow, every time we could. Because being home felt secure.  It still feels that way.

Safe and inviting; it's a place where oak trees stand taller than my problems.   It's a place I can always go to; a place where my father is.

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I've lived on both sides of this vast state; and both places are far from the oak trees that overhang the place where I grew.  It's hard to get back to that place I love so dearly; that safe and sound place I know.  But it's at that home where I learned of a place I can always run to; a place to abide in fearful times and when danger is near. This place isn't identified through geographic coordinates.  It can be ran to, by simply being small and still.

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe. Proverbs 18:10

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From Hallie's point of view:

Grace Unplugged was an amazing movie. From my point of view, it was about a girl who was tempted with everything in the world that seemed great. And she found out it wasn't all it seemed to be. It reminded me to keep thinking, that the world will try to show you what is good and convince you to do it. It also shows you that what God has in mind is always best for you.

A Mom and Daughter Review
A Mom and Daughter Review

From a Mom: 

I can't think of a better way I could have spent last night.  A friend had the great idea for a Mom/Daughter Girls' Night Out that consisted of Mexican food, laughter and tears.  We even scored this life-size souvenir at the theater. I'm seeing a major Movie Night in the future.

Best Date Souvenir Ever
Best Date Souvenir Ever

Grace Unplugged

I saw the preview for this movie a couple of weeks ago.  The movie is based on a true story of a pastor's family. This film is for any family with parents who want the best for their children and for children who are determined to find their way, their own way.

Grace is a good girl with unimaginable talent and a bright future.  Her Dad,  painfully similar to myself, tries to hem her in to the point of suffocation.  It's clear that his intentions are from deep seeded love.  He wants to preserve her innocence; to shield her from the world and from the consequences of wrong choices. What parent doesn't want to do that?

She's ready to bloom.  She knows she has musical talent but feels her creativity is being squashed and unrecognized.  She has a firm knowledge of right and wrong if only she had the opportunity to make her own choices. The spreading of her wings leads to a quick rise in fame.  But the world is asking for more of her than her God-given talent.  Rather than being filled to overflowing having more than she ever dreamed of, she finds herself empty and broken.

I love how this movie effectively shows the perspective of parents, who in undying love, work tirelessly to guide their children. It reminds us that children have to grow up. And as painful as it may be; part of that growing may just be outside our control.  This movie is a great reminder that both parents and children have the same need; we just can't do without God's grace.

The music appealed to Hallie and I both which doesn't always happen.  It was a "clap at the end" kind of movie; one where no one got out of their seats as the credits rolled because they knew they had seen the kind of movie that could impact conversation and relationships.  Go see it! photo (44)

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We look in the mirror not believing what we've become

As a child we'd thought we be someone

We sell our dreams and potential so we can

live the life that "they" call grand

-Words of a twelve-year-old scholar who wears too much eye makeup, my own Hallie Burden.  This is an excerpt from a poem she wrote the other night. Her words strike me with unfathomable force.  "This" is what I've been trying to tell her.....And "this" is what I'm still trying to tell myself.

With big brown eyes and wild hair, Hallie at age six, was a mustang in spirit. She even tried to convince us that she was turning into a horse because she was starting to notice hair on her legs and arms and she "thought her neck was growing longer".

Her dreams of the future didn't include the words "trained" or "tamed" or becoming the best work horse.Me and Mustang Hallie

But the "ideal" girl is what we all somehow become sold on.  Too often we unwittingly pack up our simple enjoyment of life along with the Barbies and white drawing paper.  We're told a grand life means trading in our individuality for a canned version of lady-ness.   We drive our SUV's at dizzying speed to make the next appointment or practice.  Our girls see us fret in front of the mirror when we view our slightly more plump figures or the small lines that have invited themselves underneath our tired eyes. Jills of all trades, we try to do it all, be it all, while the "us" God intended lies buried beneath the busy effort.

Just the other day, I looked at one of the pair of earrings I wear.  And I saw irony at its best.  The earrings are broken; both of them.  Of course they didn't start out that way.  A couple of weeks ago, at church I think, one of the silver scrolled circles went missing off of the earring in my right ear.  Instead of trying to find the missing piece, I had Jason take the complete earring and break it to match the other.  So now I have two broken earrings.  And I wear them just as if being broken is fine and dandy.

I see women who are worn out and defeated; but still accepting of the heavy load society lays squarely on their shoulders.  Already worn as I am, I tell myself that if they're ably and somewhat nobly spinning their physical and literal wheels, what am I but an incapable woman if I'm not doing the same.  It doesn't seem to matter if I'm not designed to cook like they are or sing like they do.  I don't seem to care if its purposeful and necessary to emulate their load.   The world needs one more PTA mom, right? Regardless of the plans God has for me, I'm attracted to the "all women invited/losers need not apply" Rat Race and Super Woman contest that I hate.

And all the while I root for young girls; that they will be who God created them to be.  I expect them to listen to the voices that tell them that they are enough. It's not all about making the grade, I expect my twelve and eight year old to know. I pray that my son chooses a girl that is all wrapped up in who God wants her to be. I want Hallie and Rylie to trust me when I tell them they don't need to be, or dress, or dance like someone else.

You're whole and loved as you, I tell them.  And I smile.... wearing my broken earrings.

I feel it in my tired old bones and my made up face.

This is the assigned moment for Him to move into the center, while I slip off to the sidelines.  John 3:30

Me, or "another her" isn't who my girls need to see.  I want them to see Him and the over the top, unique, and fabulous plan he has for me, and for them.

 

 

 

 

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Rylie has joined the likes of women from all over who adore the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond.  She comes on at the exact time that Rylie gets her shots on Mondays and Thursdays.  Rylie has forgotten her fish tank friends at the clinic: T-Bob, Bob, Camo, Didi and then Bibi (Didi's love interest ). Since discovering the Pioneer Woman, she hasn't picked up the worn out copy of Green Eggs and Ham or tried to stick her good patient stickers on random strangers.  She thinks we should try every recipe we see that the Pioneer Woman makes but this week's fruit pizza recipe, she says, had her drooling.

So today we tried it. And bonus!  We made it wheat and gluten-free and it was still "eat every crumb" good.

Everybody was pleased, even Hayden who is in strong opposition to any altered form of bread/pastry product.

Here are a few non-fabulous iPhone pictures.

We've used Betty Crocker Gluten-Free products a few times.  The chocolate cake mix (we made cupcakes) are awesome.  But how could they not be slathered with chocolate icing. I used two boxes of sugar cookie mix.

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It made nine huge cookies. I could have eaten the cookies just fine by themselves.  Well, with a tall glass of milk.photo (37)

 

Here is the recipe I used for the icing.  It's only the three ingredients that I have bordered in pink so neatly for you.  I couldn't find the Pioneer Woman's.  I was impatient and snapped this screenshot of the first fruit pizza icing I could find.  Then I strayed from the recipe anyway.  I used powder sugar instead of sugar, because I wanted to.

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I didn't realize until I started cutting fruit that I got a lot of red fruit.  I don't think it mattered a whole lot except for visual purposes and I'm not usually too worried about that.photo (36)

 

Here's the happy camper.  I was going to take a picture of the other two, but one had food on their face, and the other was still in pajamas (at 4:30 in the afternoon).

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Until next time. The dishes.....and the laundry are calling.

If you have a good wheat free recipe, share it please.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I have been overwhelmed with grief for what I have seen in the news in the past month.  1-thThree young people across the nation, the youngest being a twelve-year-old girl, have ended their lives feeling that they couldn't suffer being bullied any longer.  I know that these cases are of an extreme nature, but intimidation and tormenting abound. I feel the utmost urge, if nothing else to teach our children the value of kindness.  I want them to be equipped with the knowledge of what God has to say about how we treat others.  I want them to be reminded that showing God's love is a big deal, much more so than anything else we do.  The following is a devotion that will be done with our pre-teen girls at our God's Girlies Event tomorrow.  Read it, or don't, but please pray for the event.  Pray that the girls would be open to hearing from God and that they would be willing to be agents of change.

Banishing Bullying

Do you know the lingo?

WORD BANK:

getting help          victim          bullying

bystander             getting directly involved

upstander

-an aggressive intentional act or behavior that is carried out by an individual or group repeatedly over time against a victim who cannot easily defend themself ____________

-the target of bullying ____________

-everyone (in addition to the victim and bully) who is present during a bullying incident or is aware of an incident ____________

-goes against the tide to protect a victim from injustice____________

Bystanders can become upstanders by ____________ or ____________

 

Chances are you have played more than one of these roles through time.  Maybe you have been a victim, bystander and upstander on different occasions.  It could be that you have even participated in bullying.  It's a good thing that God has something he lovingly says to each of us.

What God has to say to us about bullying

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Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such as is good for building up...... Ephesians 4:29

Bambi's bud Thumper learned right from his mama, "If you can't say sumpthin' nice, don't say...... nuthin' at all.

 

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Psalm 34:13

Not only should you keep yourself from saying mean and untrue things, STAY AWAY from others who speak evil and untruth.

 

Oh the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers,  But they delight in the law of the LORD meditating on it day and night. Psalm 1:1-2

Like our parents, He tells us more than once not to be a part, even as a bystander, of bad behavior. He tells us that our attention is better spent reading, thinking about and practicing what he tells us in His word.

 

Proverbs lists out "6 things God hates and seven things that are detestable.  I know I don't want to be a part of anything like that.

haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. Proverbs 6:16-19

You're probably thinking I've never busted somebody up to bleeding, but God puts blood-spilling right in the middle of lies, general trouble-making and a mean-spirited plan-making heart.  You don't have to physically hurt someone to really hurt them.

 

And the King will answer them, Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me. Matthew 25:40

Standing up for someone because you know it's what God wants you to do is an act of service to Him.  It's a two-fer!  You've come to the aid of the person being bullied and you've served God.

 

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14

If you are safe to stand up to someone who is bullying, do so, but remember that there are adults that are nearby who want to help.  Be a counselor or go get one.

 

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31

I can't think of a single sane person who would want to be bullied or a person who would want to be laughed at or have a crowd staring at them while they are being purposely humiliated.  You'd want to be defended if it were you, so help out; be the person you'd want on your side in time of trouble.

 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another... Colossians 3:12

"Putting on" those characteristics my friends, I PROMISE YOU, is far more important than putting on your favorite jeans.

 

In all of these tribulations we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Romans 8:35

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.  Proverbs 18:10

So do not fear for I am with you.  Do not be dismayed for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart, I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

Life isn't always easy.  Sometimes we find ourselves in a place where it never seems easy. This world is by no means a perfect place.  That's why we do best to remember that God is our guide.  He's our salvation; our protector, the one who forever and completely loves us.  He will get us through the bad times if we trust in Him.  Don't forget that he put people in your life, like your mom and dad and your grandparents or that special aunt or teacher.  They're there to help you.  But unlike God who knows all, sometimes you have to let them know what you're going through.

You're being prayed for. For the one who has behaved badly time and time again towards another person, Stop!  Ask for God's forgiveness and for his help in being more kind.  For the ones who stand by and laugh or do nothing at all, be mindful that it's always right to stand up.  And for the one who suffers at the hand of people who have no understanding or concern for their actions, hang in there.  Hang on to prayer and the words of God. You are loved more than you feel. God will help you through.

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Jason has lost thirty pounds..........(clapping my hands).  He has worked so hard.  Not only has he worked out at the gym faithfully, sometimes his workouts start at 5:00 AM.  (I have several crazy friends who are working out this early too).  He's also been committed to eating salads and drinking some awful protein/egg white shakes. Funny thing is, I was the one who mentioned wanting to eat healthy, months back. I've barely lost a pound, but at least I was his inspiration.

He's an oak.  And I love him.

He attributes much of his success to the Paleo Diet which is the "Caveman Diet".  I decided to try it for a week.  I made it Monday and half of Tuesday (by Tuesday I was already so "over  it"). I celebrated the cease to my carb-less thirty hours with a giant cookie. I call the Paleo Diet the "Killjoy Diet".

You might say I'm not good at following through with things.  One could say I lack self-discipline.

I sit here in my happy place with my sweats on, full of pizza and Coke.  I stepped on the scales and they laughed at me in number language.  Still, for now, I'm perfectly content.

Sometimes (much of the time) I'm a quitter.  I'm a darn good quitter.  And that's ok,

Because there are some things worth letting go

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like washing the dishes when your son wants to tell you about the trip he plans to take to Thailand someday

and health fads that make you crabby and no healthier

like the job that requires more of you than your family can afford.

Let go of past hurts; only hang on to the good you've learned from them.

Quit trying to make every single meeting on your radar, even if you know there will be people wondering where you were if you miss.

Drop that argument you're determined to win with your twelve-year-old when all reason has been tossed out the window

and quit beating yourself up when you forget your eight year old's note in her lunch, and her drink (.....three times).

You can stop comparing your cooking and seasonal table settings to the cover of "Southern Living" and your wreaths to the ones on Pinterest

Let go of your unattainable dream to have your neighbor's perfectly sculpted yard.

Quit your tired effort to make your husband into the perfect mate and just keep loving him as he is

Stop thinking that your childrens' happiness lies squarely and solely on your shoulders

Quit packing your calendar so tight that the numbered squares on its pages bulge until they're almost circles.

Quit worrying about things

like the weather or your son's Physics grade (You can't control it)

the peeling paint on your house exterior and smudges on the windows and glass door (These things will wait)

It doesn't help to worry

when your children are upset with you (they'll hopefully get over it)

and about that person who without fair reason doesn't like you and never has  (Not everyone will)

Quit dwelling on life's injustices (that you can't or don't choose to do anything about)

Stop missing out on life's little joys.

-You'd better recognize them if you'd quit some of the other "stuff".

Life's not always about conquering, winning, enduring mastering.

Sometimes it's about letting go.

Jason is an oak.

Sometimes I'm an oak too.

Other times I'll be a bold leaf,

weightless

who in season releases it's grip and let's go.

Be a quitter.

P.S. To Jason and my friends who are sticking to your ridiculous, I mean rigorous 5 AM workouts, I look up to you and still think you're super cool.

 

 

 

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P.S. -postscript /a brief attachment appended to the ending of a message

Rylie is typically pretty devout when it comes to prayer. She starts out something like, "Jesus Christ, Lord...." and then prays long and hard for everyone and everything she can think of. We were surprised when one night the usually long-winded giver of thanks made her prayer short and sweet.  She thanked God for me, Hayden, Hallie, Griffin and our food. And then she said amen.  Jason, who usually prefers the abridged version of her prayer looked befuddled.  Daddy's girl had forgotten to mention him in her talk with God and he'd noticed.

Disappointed he said, "You forgot me!".

Sensing his sorrow I quickly offered,....... "Rylie, God does P.S.'s. So she added on, "And thank you for my Daddy".

God really does allow P.S.'s.  In fact I believe he encourages them.

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He tells us to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

Sometimes we say "Amen"; our "so be it". But it isn't intended to mean "Prayer over" or "The End".  Amen isn't a closing meaning "On to the next thing, .....glad I got that obligation out-of-the-way".

If we have any sense whatsoever (and I admit I lack good sense on a regular basis) we know that there isn't a moment that exists when there ISN'T something to be said to God. There's always one more thing; another P.S.

He wants to hear from us.

  A father wants to be remembered.

I do try to have somewhat of an organized prayer time.  Having prayed in groups, a habitual format I've learned goes something like Praise/Thanks/Repentance/Intercession for self and others.  I think a format is dandy.  But if it's the only communication I have with God, I'm missing out.

So prayer P.S.'s are in order for any and all occasions

when you notice the first brightly hued leaf signaling Fall's arrival

when you have a loved-one on the road

or you get a phone call that your friend is sick and they don't know what's wrong

when laughter explodes and you realize its healing nature

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when you read in the news that another teenager has taken her life or you hear another heart-wrenching story about cyber bullying

when your kid has a big test or has just failed one

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or you realize that you were snippy with your husband in the last text you sent

when you think about how thankful you are for your extended family

or a niece gets baptized

when you need grace

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when you've received it

I think every day should be chock full of P.S.'s

Often times my P.S. holds the most important and heartfelt communication.  In its brevity, it says:

I trust you

I need you

I acknowledge you

Thank you!

Forgive me.

I love you

I love you

I love you

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18