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For those of you who wonder how God's Girlies got started, I could tell you that it started on impulse, but we know God better than that.

  Hallie turned eleven in March.  I turned into a bigger worrier having come to a point that I didn't have an answer to every question. Besides she doesn't always want to hear what I have to say right now.  This happened with Hayden too, but I was ok with not understanding some things-boy related and relied heavily on Jason.

Relying and relating are necessary especially during transforming times.  Hallie is changing and maturing, but it's a transforming time for moms too.  I began to yearn for guidance and friendship. I wanted together-time for Hallie and myself.  I wanted a place for community amongst other moms and other girls.  Hallie needs to know that other girls experience insecurity and unkind treatment.  She needs to know there other moms that have high moral standards for their girls. As I talked with other moms I knew I wasn't alone.

  We decided to have a monthly gathering of preteen girls and moms and grandmas.  Other ladies have joined us (moms of boys and college and high school age girls).  My heart smiles with joy as we have a growing community of girls ages 6 to ?

Out of this community has sprung an online community too.  Girls from other US states as well as Europe and Canada have joined us.  We are moms, daughters, grandmas, sisters and friends with a common father; a father who I believe smiles as we come together in his name.

Email your post or questions to kristiburden@gmail.com

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Rylie has developed a new laugh.  It bothered me at first because it's fake in nature.  Her new laugh is loud and boisterous like she is. And though she's made it sound new, it's root is pure pleasure.  The more I have listened to it, the more I've come to love it. It's contagious.  It's healing. .....It's funny.

Laughter is  known to relieve stress and even physical pain. There has been much research to come to this conclusion, but the bible spoke of it long ago.  Maybe laughter is being spoken of when it says in Proverbs 17:22-

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. 

 Laughter, after all is an outward expression of a cheerful heart.

I can think of times that I have laughed.... I mean really laughed.  Several of those times were inappropriate. And several of my reasons for laughing were inappropriate.  I remember one of those times was when I was young and in church.

I grew up in a church where monkey business was not allowed.  If you were not absolutely quiet, you may very well be thumped, nudged or pinched- If not by your own parents, by someone else. As it should be, worship was serious business.  But I remember one Sunday morning, a lady who frequently sang, got up to sing a special.  I remember inwardly cringing because I knew she couldn't carry a tune.  I was sitting by my friends (some who hadn't heard her sing) and I knew immediately that I had to be the epitome of seriousness.  One by one snickers escaped my friends.  Even with Herculean effort, I only managed to hold on to mine for seconds, and what laughter didn't escape my lips escaped as tears.  Please don't judge me.

My point is, laughter is release.

Certainly we all have stress and sorrow that we would be eager to be rid of. Laughter, even if only temporarily, let's go pain to the wind.

Laughter lets go joy audibly. Like Rylie's contagious laugh, laughter is joy shared.

Laughter can even be a declaration of victory.

And Sarah said, "God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me".-Genesis 21:6

Laughter is a gift to those around you.  It's also a gift given to you. Maybe the only wise words spoken to Job by one of his friends were these words:

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting"-Job 8:21

Maybe we should consider the prayer of Job's friend. I will pray for Godly laughter, laughter to take away stress and pain, laughter to share joy and declare victory.   And in return for the gift, I will make my laughter a song of joy unto him.

What makes you laugh?

 

 

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Call it the blog blahs.  Though I know each day is filled with the work and blessing of God, there are days that my limited words can't express my heart's gratitude.

As words fail, let the pictures speak.

They say a picture's worth a thousand words.

I've added a few.

A Summer Touched by God through

Beauty

Togetherness

Friendship

Love

Detail

Joy

Trust

Renewal

Creation

Rescue

Affection

Adventure

Companionship 

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Close the Door!

 All three of our children have heard Jason and I raise our voices in agitation as we approach the front door or refrigerator door  left wide open.  They come by it honestly.

I remember well, a time when I was somewhere between Hayden and Hallie’s age that I left one too many cabinet doors open. My mother carried out swift justice.  She opened every cabinet and drawer- maybe in the whole house.  She made me close every one.  Dramatic I’m sure, but it seemed like torture.  She watched (seemingly enjoying every minute).  Out of all the punishments I ever received, it's one I remember.

Presently I wouldn’t be able to count the number of times the refrigerator door, the car door and the front door have been left open by the kids. But as irony would have it, we now have a new problem.  I noticed it a few months ago.  The upstairs is entirely too quiet, even when I’m upstairs.  The two oldest, who  finally shut doors- are doing just that.  They routinely shut their bedroom doors now. They keep them shut. I suppose some privacy is in order.  But I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being shut out in some sense.

I’m not on their top ten list of "the world’s greatest people" anymore.  

 I rarely hear “Hey Mom, What do you think about….” 

 They think I’m strict.  They think I ask too much of them.  They think that I don’t understand them. 

 And so they shut the door.  They watch families on TV whose parents perfectly understand their kids.  They text kids their age and ask “Hey… What do you think about..”. They listen to songs sung by artists on their top ten list of "the world’s greatest people".

How do I contend with that?

First I moped.

.... Now I do what my mom did…..Well in reverse that is.

I have them open their door.  And open it again. I even invite myself in. I’ m sure it seems like pure torture.  I suspect they won’t like the continuing invasion. But I’m praying that maybe, just maybe, when they're older, it will be the punishment they remember.  And if I’m lucky, they’ll thank me for it.

I’m going to go call my mom now.

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I wasn't very happy with my family last night.  I wanted us all to spend some quality time together.  We got pizza and I had Jason hang the all-occassion party banner.  I even allowed eating in the living room; the perfect set-up for family comradery.

Instead what happened was, after scarfing down pizza, each kid retreated to their own room.  So I started several conversations with Jason whose response to everything I said was "Hmmm?" ( I believe a "Matrix" marathon was on).

I cordially invited two of them to go on a walk with me.  They each declined without hesitation.  How dare they not want to do what I want.

So I walked.

I was stuck with the never desired companion; loneliness. 

Loneliness visits every now and then.  Searching for distraction from this unwanted friend, I pulled out my phone so that my Facebook friends could tell me about their day.  Blast!No battery.  Downcast and alone I walked.

I'm almost certain that every person suffers from loneliness at times.  Loneliness doesn't necessarily mean that you are alone, but that you feel alone.  True loneliness stems from an emptiness in a deep place.

Loneliness is the void where we find no match.

Chances are you've played Old Maid before.  The object of the game is to find the match to the cards in your hand.  The loser of the game is the one who holds the Old Maid at game's end; the card with no match.

With companionship we respect differences, but we seek ways in which we match.

  We gravitate toward people who know and understand us.  

Think of all the support groups that exist based on people who are suffering similarly. Likewise, I remember many times smiling at the simple observance of a parent who suffers a child pulling a stunt similar to what one of my kids have pulled before.

And oh how we love to be with others who share our love and excitement for similar things. 

Still, often we feel alone for a reason we can't quite put our finger on.  We long for someone who will fill that void.

In 1 Kings, the prophet Elijah has dutifully spread God's message and in return, his life has been threatened.  After being visited twice by an angel of the Lord, he still feels dejected and alone saying "I am the only one left.." He has spent time alone in the wilderness, but it is in the cave that the LORD comes to him in a still small whisper.  I find it thrilling that it is when he hears God whisper he exits the cave.   The LORD also reminds him that there are seven thousand reserved who are like him who have not bowed down to Baal.

 There is no Old Maid card in the game of life. We are surrounded with those "like us" who share in our joys and in our suffering; take comfort in that. But when the deepest part of your soul calls out for its companion, don't look around-look up. 

 Yesterday when walking, the most gentle breeze swept over me; a breeze I may not have even noticed had I been walking with someone else.  That breeze reminded me,

that I am loved by many,

I have a God who understands EVERY part of me,

and that I am never alone.

 

 

 

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 Do you know how when you’re organizing or moving you put things in a box? It’s o.k. to be organized. There is nothing wrong with that. But when you put people in boxes- it’s just wrong.  I know that sounds weird, but let me say what I mean.

Do you or your friends ever say or think things like “That girl is ugly”, or “She is rude”, or “She’s weird”? Well that’s what we do, we put people in boxes. We see the bad in them and don’t try to see anything else in them.

We just simply throw them in a box. For example, we throw the girl without makeup in the ugly box, the girl with bad grades in the dumb box, and the girl who sits by herself at lunch in the weird box. These people we try to avoid or put them down.

It’s bad because we don’t see them as people.  We see them as things in a box to ignore or throw away. But that’s not how God made us. He didn’t make boxes for the jocks, the popular people, the nerds or weirdos. He just made us all different.  How would we be special if we were all the same?

None of us should be put in a box or ignored. So we should stop seeing him as the nerd or her as the ugly girl. We should just think of them as God’s children.

In the bible it says, Have we not all one Father?  Hath not one God created us? –Malachi 2:10

He didn’t make boxes.  He just made people. So next time you see a person remember this: Would you want to be put in a box?  And try not to think of her as a nerd or him as a jerk. Just try to see the good in people.

Well I’m having a lot of fun writing about boxes but you’re probably tired of hearing about this so I’m just going to make this story short and sweet. Because those are the best stories.

And I guess all there is left to say is “Over and out”,

Goodbye!

Hallie Burden

11 years old

Hallie is my second guest blogger and my daughter.  She has determination bound to prove valuable as she stands firm in the midst of the temptation and chaos of the pre-teen world. She has a creative eye and enjoys designing. She loves listening to music, and twirling.  And truth be known she likes watching TV and sleeping-in too.  Pray for Hallie and her peers as they seek to see value in all people.  Pray that they be bolstered in love as they learn of the Father's love. Pray that they would find their security and self-worth in a God that lovingly created them unique to serve his purpose.

Attention GG's and other God's Girlies!

If you would like to share something special that God has done for you or through you send me an email.  I would love for you to highlight our God's Girlies page.

Email www.kristiburden@gmail.com

If you don't want to miss a post remember to subscribe.

 

 

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Most everybody has been hissed at by a moody cat.

But have you ever had opportunity to be face-to-face with an overprotective gander?

One our favorite pastimes while vacationing at Fun Valley is to be accosted by the gander member of the Cananda Geese family.

We really start out feeding the goslings, but challenged by the father goose, the gander, it becomes a game to get closer and closer to the goslings while being hissed at. If you didn't know,  geese have little teeth. By not chickening out as the distance between me and the gander closed in- I saw them.

We make sure and have bread on hand to feed them and lure them in.  We have done it enough times now as to notice a pattern.

You see them coming, the goose, the goslings and then the gander-One big happy family.

They waddle near. And they wait.

We throw small pieces of bread, each piece nearer as to catch a close glimpse. The mom (goose) is just a bit smaller than the dad (gander).  The goose leads the way followed by the goslings.  The gander brings up the rear. Our eyes are usually on the babies. But this year, my sister noticed something.  While the goslings, and the goose are gobbling up bits of bread, the father stands behind and watches over the brood.

He doesn't eat when they eat.

He just stands tall and watches- hissing viciously at anyone who dares to bring them harm.

He has an impressive wing span too as he bats those wings warning you to step back if you get too close.

It's just as the goslings and mama are full and start to meander, that the dad grabs a few nibbles to-go and follows his family.

He wants you to know that his little ones are under his watchful eye;  under his constant protection.

Oh to have a father like that.

He will cover you with his feathers,

 and under his wings you will will find refuge;

 his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

-Psalm 91:4

 

 

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Jason and I have been writing a weekly shared blog for about a month now.  Topics have come easily as we take turns choosing and starting.  It’s my turn.  I’ve tried to wait for the perfect prompt to pop into my head.  I’m tired of waiting.  I’m no good at waiting.  Just yesterday I burned my tongue on pizza though I knew it needed to cool. Waiting would be one of my shortcomings.  So here it is.  On this topic,  I’m the subject and Jason is the voice. We’re talking about impatience.

 

I’ve been impatiently trying to get Kristi to start this blog all week-long.  The irony is, when she finally did get it started, I made her wait half a day before I contributed anything to it.

I think we both have our areas of patience and impatience.  She has more patience with people and I have more patience with things.  You should see her when the computer freezes up.  I’m usually not there beside her when it happens but I can hear it from the other side of the house.  It’s not a scream, per se, but rather a sigh from the pit of her technologically frustrated soul that fills the air with angst.  You won't hear that kind of sigh when she’s teaching, though.  She seems to have the longsuffering of Job when it comes to kids. 

I think in both of our cases, impatience leads to unnecessary frustration.  We get too easily bent out of shape over things we cannot control.  In every case, when we let the things around us start yanking our inner chains, we find ourselves stumbling down a defeated path.

Impatience always finds an excuse to act.

That was Jason's response the last time I was explaining to him why I was doing something in a hasty fashion.  I believe it may have been a blog post.  I felt passionately about what I was saying.  I was determined that if I didn't post at that moment, that there was no use in posting it all.  Impatience is akin to impulsivity.  The nice word that I use for my acting upon my inner urging is spontaneous.

Passionate.  Determined.  Spontaneous.  Those are good qualities.  But acting with no regard to timing can be disastrous.  Ninety percent of the time, maybe you've noticed, my posts contain glaring errors because I was in such a state of hurry. I skip steps and misstep when cooking and cleaning not to mention other daily activities.

Being impatient can also be characterized as being graceless.  I have family members who experience mild but frequent road rage.  I have a touch of it now and then.  Impatience doesn't just mean that I have to do what I want to do NOW.  It also demands that others do what I want them to do with urgency. Though I refrain from honking I have little grace when someone doesn't instantaneously notice that the light is green.  Afterall I have places I need to be.

We are going to lose our patience.  It’s not a matter of IF it’s going to happen, it’s a matter of WHEN.  What can you do when your feel your patience running out?

Breathe—You cannot always control the things going on around you, but you can control some of the things that are going on within you.  Our psychological state affects our physiological state and vice versa.  When we get anxious our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes more rapid and shallow, and a myriad of other physical consequences of impatience start to appear.  If we focus on what we can control physically, it will help with what is out of control psychologically.  When we choose to breathe deeply,  and slowly, it helps calms us to the point where we can make rational decisions rather than impulsive ones.  This works for dealing with irritable computers and adorable children.

Find Your Valuables—I’m not talking about the rings and the gold.  I’m talking about your inner compass; that basket of beliefs you hold near and dear to your heart that helps direct your life.  When we get impatient, sometimes we make impulsive decisions that run roughshod over our highest beliefs and ideals.  It’s always good to have a short mental list of those values and beliefs that help determine our decisions.  Referring to these core values will help keep you from doing anything in your impatience that you will later regret. 

Patience Building Practices—Every one of us, whether we consider ourselves a patient person or not, has a limited capacity for being patient.  At some point everyone’s patience will run out.  It might take 10 computer crashes, 4 bad drivers cutting you off, and 27 screaming kids, but it will happen.  The good news is that we can increase our capacity for patience.  Consider these patience building practices:

  • Sleep.  I tell Hayden, “A good day starts the night before.”  If you are starting out your day tired and frazzled, impatience will be only one thing on a long list of things that make your day go badly.  Each morning that you wake up after a good night’s rest, you have a renewed capacity to endure those things that make you impatient.  Insuring a good night’s sleep helps to ensure a good day’s supply of patience.
  • Pray.  To improve patience, you need to practice trust.  We feel anxious and impatient when we feel that life is spinning out of control.  Prayer is practiced trust.  We pray to God who is unseen about things that we cannot control.  We trust that His power is great and that His will is good.  By placing our trust in God we reap the benefit of being able to patiently wait on the Lord to work His will in our world.  If you are not in the habit of prayer consider using the Lord’s prayer as a model for constructing you own, heartfelt prayers to God.  In the Lord’s prayer you are praying for daily provision (both spiritual and physical), personal shortcomings and the shortcomings of others, temptations we suffer, and about the presence of evil.  If you can’t categorize your impatience under one or more of these categories, you might have bigger troubles than what I can help you with.
  • Read.  When we start our day off with scripture, we reinforce the values that help direct our steps.  Not only does the study of scripture help reinforce our values, but the regular study of scripture helps us refine those values.  When we are dealing with the Bible, we are not dealing with pie-in-the-sky idealism but down to earth spirituality.  As God’s story becomes our story, the values present in God’s book become the values exhibited in our lives. 

For the friendship of two, the patience of one is required.

 

What causes you to lose your patience? 

What do you do to regain it? 

 

Check out Jason's blog- www.pastorburden.com

I'd love to hear from you. My email- www.kristiburden@gmail.com

 

 

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Happiness is overrated.

I realize that may make me sound bitter or cynical.  Hopefully those of you who know me, know that I'm normally a happy person.

Though I've seemed to contradict myself, please keep reading.

HAPPINESS

We chase after it.  And when we find it we try to hold on.  But happiness, like the helium in a bright-colored balloon, doesn't stay.  It fills us temporarily making our world seem big and bright like a bouquet of balloons only to be deflated into a sad shrunken mess attached to knotted ribbons.

 

I was having a conversation (....ok, it was more like a lecture) with one of my children who was unhappy with me a couple of months ago. Out of a deep well of knowledge I had no idea existed I proclaimed,

"I want you to be happy, but my job is not to keep you happy".  I'm not really sure if it sunk in, but I haven't forgotten that statement.

I want to be happy.  I want my children to be happy, but is that what is most important?  I can't remember a single time that cleaning their bedroom or doing homework made them happy. Nor does getting a shot or being disciplined fill their desire.  Cleaning house doesn't make me happy.  Still the above mentioned chores and unpleasant experiences are at times necessary.

I'm guilty of bribing and rewarding to sugarcoat the unpleasant. Sometimes sugar-coating works, but like medicine disguised in jello, the bitter taste  remains.

Contentment in Christ

Happiness is often right smack in the way.  Pursuing happiness often keeps us from growing into maturing Christians.  And if we seek all of the things we want, the things that make us happy, we're often headed down a path contrary to the path of  discipleship. It takes both sunshine and rain to grow.

Happiness is dependent on circumstances.

Contentment in Christ is deep satisfaction that comes from God who is always enough.

Contentment stays, as God stays.

...I have learned to be content no matter the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.   -Philippians 4:11b-13

Through time spent with God, invite contentment into your life and the lives of your children.

The secret?

 You'll find that along with contentment, happiness  - its frequent companion, will visit often too.

 

 

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