Thanks in All Circumstances; A Pollyanna Kind of Post

Kristi Burden • 11 November, 2013

....Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

November is "Be Thankful" Month. So I'm joining the ranks of those out there who share their appreciation publicly. And while I'm thankful first and foremost for obvious things like my salvation and my family, I'm trying to branch out and see gratitude in simple places and surprising sources. Here's the run-down so far.

Thankful

Day 18 Thankful for a messy dinner table; for scraps of hot pink tulle, smatterings of silver sequins, globs of glue and Rylie's words still stuck to my heart "I'm just glad we get to spend this time together". -Messy times like Rylie's Turkey Project and staying up late studying Spanish 3 with Hayden often result in sweet remnants.

Day 17 Thankful for the smell of new books.

Day 16 Thankful that our "Drama Queen" finally found some POSITIVE recognition for that flair of hers at the EDA (Educational Drama Association) Meet.

Day 15 Thankful for almond/chocolate bark. Bad cooks needn't worry about the taste; just the shape.

Day 14 (I'm backtracking here). Thankful that there won't be stomach bugs in Heaven. And for the first successful Saltine cracker digestion after a stomach bug. Thankful there won't be allergies in Heaven either.

Day 13 Thankful, though last weeks' nights were full of good times, that I won't be sleeping with Zeebie, Stripes, Val and Rylie's other stuffed friends tonight. My guy's home from Africa.

Day 12 Thankful that just a little bit of sweet makes things better; a philosophy that should be practiced with both food and people.

Family and Banana S'mores Double Sweetness — Family and Banana S'mores
Double Sweetness

-The kids and I made these the other night. I can't stop thinking about them; the leftover bananas on the table can't stop thinking about them either. They look sad.....

Tabetha Franklin, the "Main Dish Lady :)" https://www.facebook.com/MainDishEverydayMeals taught me how to make them. She teaches me a lot of stuff. I'm thankful for her too.

Just take a boring banana and make it extraordinary with just a few added chocolate chips and mini marshmallows. Leave the banana in its peel. Make a slit into the banana, but don't cut it all the way through. Grab both ends and push toward the middle opening the slit, making the perfect spot to drop in some chocolate and marshmallow goodness. Wrap in foil, leaving the foil loose (tented) on the top. Broil on low for about ten minutes. Reminds me of a song...... "Sweet dreams are made of this".

Day 11 Some of the greatest friendships aren't planned; they sort of fall into place. Working together and having like-aged kiddos are two great friend generators. Sending your husband off to Africa is another great way to forge friendships as you wing-it solo. I had pizza and open-mouthed laughter (not at the same time) tonight with two great girls and their pint-sized sweeties. I regret not having invited them into my home before now. Another one of my dearest friends became one of my dearest after our husbands made several trips to Africa together several years ago. So. I'm thankful for surprise friendships. And I'm thankful for sending my husband on a mission trip. You should try it.

Day 10 I am thankful for our veterans. I don't think I can wrap my mind around the sacrifices that have been made for me to be able to enjoy freedom. Day after day I take that freedom for granted, but today I am grateful- for my Grandad and for all the great men and women who have given, that I might live with liberty.

Day 9b Thankful for my husband's stinky workout shirt that always hangs in my closet doorway. Jason. you linger even when you're not here.

Day 9 Thankful for fierce, smash your hair and forehead hugs-by my seventeen year old.

Day 8 Thankful for Tests. Seriously. Just read this http://kristiburden.com/?p=6661

Day 7 Thankful for Jason who loves me unconditionally; in posed moments and the candid ones too.

Day 6 I'm thankful for chicken wings; particularly from Wing Stop when accompanied by those fries with the secret seasoning. Trust me. They're good.

Day 5 Thankful for Africa and its teaching that God is much bigger than we could have dared to imagine.

Day 4 I'm thankful for the little stranger in the kindergarten hallway that told me I looked ravishing (and on a bad hair day at that).

Day 3 Thankful that Jesus is a friend of sinners. And thankful to have heard my friend Christy Zenon sing about it like it was gospel truth.

Day 2 Thankful for my talented and abrupt daughter who wrote a poem about my cooking (Move over Shel Silverstein). Check out her poem (or mom roast rather) here http://kristiburden.com/?p=6693 .

Day 1 Thankful for these rays of sunshine.

Hallie’s “My Mom Can’t Cook” Poem • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 11 November, 2013

Dinner is always quite a mess...
The food that is made never gets to be blessed
My mother burnt the toast and over cooked the roast
Dropped the ham and crushed the yams
Bruised the fruit and in my salad I found a newt
Poured the milk on my feet, the cake wasn't even sweet
Threw the carrots in a tree, I found a rock in my peas
She sat on the lemons and gave our potatoes to Mr Simmons
Dumped the spices... and I'm sure the sodas were drank by the mice
The broccoli tasted very vile, she poured the sugar in the Nile
The meat is singing to me and I'm sure there's a bear in the pantry
How is it possible that we're eating... Is my food suppose to moving?
My beans are snorting like a hog, I guess I'll just feed my food to the dog

Thankful for Tests

Kristi Burden • 8 November, 2013

I've joined the Facebook fad of posting one thing I'm thankful for every day in November, so here's Day 8

I'm Thankful for Tests

That's right. I said I'm thankful for tests. Don't misunderstand. I didn't say I enjoy them; most times I rather loathe them. Hayden has a big Algebra Two test today; A Spanish Three test too. I was no help in his test preparation last night. The material, especially for Algebra Two, far overreaches my "Killin' it" mom skills. I'm glad I'm finished with Math tests, and scantrons; with paper and pencil tests in general. I'm still not finished with tests though. They come at me, the ones that I dread, and the pop tests that fly in my face too.

Just this week I received some tacky correspondence which I felt was undeserved. All of my kids, at one time or another, acted unreasonably. I faced the test of putting down my phone and spending time with my kids and husband.

The tests come other times too. I'll get behind a lady in Target who knows I'm in a hurry so she gets right smack in the middle of the aisle and goes as slow as humanly possible playing with, who I assume, is her grandkid forgetting that she's supposed to get out-of-the-way of antsy people.

Tests aren't fun (for normal people). They're not something we ask for. I guess I can think of a couple of students I've had in the past who welcomed an opportunity to "show what they know", but honestly tests aren't really tests if they're easy. A test is more something that challenges and ultimately grows you.

The best tests, whether it's right before, during, or after you've failed miserably, help you realize that you're inadequate on your own. They reveal a need for One who can help you through. When Hallie's band uniform still lays across the same chair where I saw it three days ago after having asked her to move it four times, I need help in my approaching her concerning the matter -Otherwise, we both end up sour after a thirty-five minute "conversation". Tests are another invitation to go to God. He has the answers. He's the "good kind of cheating"/ help we can ALWAYS use on a test.

I think we make the mistake of believing that a test's primary importance is showing what we know and often times who we are. Looking at challenges in this manner makes us believe that if we do well, we are well, we are excellent.....until the next test. For those tests we fail, we feel like failures.

We do learn for the test, but most importantly, we need to learn from the test.

We learn from the test by remembering when the next test of a similar nature comes along, how we can better be prepared. How will we react, or will we, when the next abrupt person who speaks needlessly comes along? What would be a better way to approach your daughter next time she's experiencing a mood swing rendering her unreasonable for a small spell?

Tests are the pits, because too many times I stink it up when they come along. They remind us of always accessible help. They teach. They provide a platform for grace......and for that I'm thankful for them.

Do Not Enter • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 6 November, 2013

I made an Amazon purchase a couple of weeks ago. It's a roll of red "Do Not Enter" tape.

I bought it on a whim when I realized again that the kids habitually go upstairs to their rooms to be singly entertained by their technology. But I can't just complain about them. They'd snitch that there have been a hundred times they're telling me something, but I'm spaced-out on my IPhone.

The red "Do Not Enter" roll has layed on the counter alongside my good intentions for a couple of weeks now. Honestly we have been too busy to spend time together; either Hayden is gone or we're running to piano lessons or picking Hallie up from band practice.

I've learned that spending time together isn't always convenient. While I long for Kumbaya experiences, our "family time" is of the drive through, swing by nature. Still, last night I unrolled the red tape. I took a yard of it and I tied it to the bottom of our stairway, "Do Not Enter", with instructions to stay downstairs.... in the same room.

Don't worry, the kids had been warned. I didn't want a revolt so I broke out the snacks and we popped in Monster's U. I know... I know, a movie isn't the best form of time together, but it's a start. The kids were surprisingly pleasant about the whole experience. I however, if given a grade by the kids, would not receive the standard 95 participation grade. I texted. I peeked at my emails. I missed Hallie's favorite part. Sitting perfectly still on the couch, my mind was a swarm. I was absent, really.

We're going to do this again; snacks, games, conversation, giggles.............

And I'll put the "Do Not Enter" tape on the stairway. But our next scheduled together time will start with a prayer. I'll be asking God's help in guarding my "Holy of Holies" that spirit of mine that welcomes too much. I'll ask his help in saying:

Do Not Enter, Cares of the World.

Keep out, Social Media.

Stay away, Worries and Frustrations.

No trespassing, List of Chores.

The best fortune isn't found by chase or solving the world's greatest problems. Fortune is found at home, together with family.

P.S. I have a hundred extra yards of my "Do Not Enter" tape. Anyone?

A Praise Kind of Day • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 29 October, 2013

It's a praise kind of day-

My backyard said so this morning.

There's always a reason to

even if somebody in your house was running late for tutoring

and there's already a tired feeling in your house, and it's only Tuesday.

Praise Him

because your morning started out with kisses on the cheek; both given and received

and your "kid" is going to turn seventeen tomorrow

You have a job, a purpose today that awaits you

-that purpose is wrapped up in praising Him

I know this because the morning sun and the birds outside my window reminded me.

Praise the Lord from the heavens! Praise him from the skies! ²Praise him, all his angels! Praise him, all the armies of heaven! ³Praise him, sun and moon! Praise him, all you twinkling stars! ⁴Praise him, skies above! Praise him, vapors high above the clouds! ⁵Let every created thing give praise to the Lord, for he issued his command, and they came into being. ⁶He set them in place forever and ever. His decree will never be revoked.

⁷Praise the Lord from the earth, you creatures of the ocean depths, ⁸fire and hail, snow and clouds,^[a] wind and weather that obey him, ⁹mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars, ¹⁰wild animals and all livestock, small scurrying animals and birds, ¹¹kings of the earth and all people, rulers and judges of the earth, ¹²young men and young women, old men and children.

¹³Let them all praise the name of the Lord. For his name is very great; his glory towers over the earth and heaven! ¹⁴He has made his people strong, honoring his faithful ones— the people of Israel who are close to him.

Praise the Lord -Psalm 148

Why Didn’t Anybody Tell Me! • 4 Comments

Kristi Burden • 28 October, 2013

Every once in a while I come across something revolutionary; like E6000. -Or those Magic Erasers that miraculously remove stains. Let me not forget those Ghirardhelli Sea Salt Soiree squares. They're life changing. Anyway, when I bump into simple goodness, I find myself wondering why no one ever took the small trouble to introduce us. So I'm going to start with me. I'm going to start sharing things like Burt's Bees lip balm. I'm never without two tubes of it; one in my makeup case and one in my purse. And I'm hoping you'll start sharing those gems you find that make your day a little brighter.

Listening to Pandora gets me through hairy Sunday mornings and kitchen disaster clean ups. (See. I'm just sharing away here. If you haven't tried Pandora, you must. I even knocked my dad's socks off with it. You can find any artist under the sun on it. And for free. On second thought, if my dad knows about it, you probably do too. He just discovered Facebook.) I just type in the name of my favorite artists, and then I get to hear songs by that and other similar artists.

Saturday, I think, I was putting my folded clothes away so I'd have a basket to use so I could gather and wash more dirty clothes. I don't even remember what artist I was listening to, but a song came on by JJ Heller. I instantly loved it; loved her. I Googled her and found that the song I was listening to was from 2009. Rylie still had all of her baby teeth then, makeup was the farthest thing from Hallie's mind and Hayden driving was the farthest thing from mine. Four years is a ways back. So how is it that nobody ever told me about JJ Heller?

I have an excuse for not being up on the latest music. You see, about five years ago, Rylie was sitting rather quiet in the back seat of the Armada. She decided that the antenna that lined the back window looked much like a sticker. If you don't get to put stickers on the window, which she was also fond of, I guess you take them off. That simple act ruined our car riding listening pleasure. All we get to listen to in the car now are CD's, and each other which isn't all that bad.

JJ Heller is described on her bio as "eclectic and down to earth". Her music is roller skates to my soul. Just read the lyrics In the picture up top from her song "His Hands". She has super cool hair too.

I discovered her music on "messy house Saturday". Ironically, the house is messy again today, so I'm sounding off. But I'll be saying Good Morning to Pandora, my dishes and some JJ Heller.

If you have a "Why didn't anybody tell me" thing to share, please do in comments or write a post and send it to me at:

kristiburden@gmail.com

...because sharing is something friends do!

Here's a song by JJ Heller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8jilr8qsYU

How about another one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0D1P8k9mWM

Beyond the Gray

Kristi Burden • 23 October, 2013

I was able to work out this morning. It has been so gorgeous outside lately that I've ditched the gym treadmill (complete with my own TV screen for my viewing pleasure) for a walk outdoors. There's a nice little track for me to make my rounds. And it's so quiet. I pray for friends with struggles and I ask questions. And then I try to cease to be; listening and watching for what God might want to show me.

It's quite a challenge. As nice as it has been outside, the track looks pretty much the same every time I walk it. The sounds of zizzing cars rushing down Nederland Avenue can always be heard. But I try. Last week I saw a single leave that had changed into its fall wardrobe. It was the perfect shade of fiery red. It was under a small group of trees around the 100th yard of my 400 yard lap. I looked forward to that leaf each lap; a reminder of the importance of color- the kind that stands out.

This morning all I noticed was the orange mesh attached to the metal fence that divides the track from the rest of the world. The morning sky wasn't particularly outstanding, but I looked and I listened.

One stretch of the track butts up to a row of houses. Instead of orange mesh and metal fence, there is a nice wooden fence. I noticed this morning when I rounded the track how the grass in my view was blotchy and unremarkable. The sun was shining, but the grass patch in front of the wooden fence couldn't decide if it wanted to beam, or just cast a dull shade of gray. It was the kind of gray I feel when friends struggle and I have more questions in my own life than I have answers.

Steps later the grass transformed. I saw strips of bleak ground broken up by perfect rays of light; the befuddled patch gone. I only had to be in the right place to see light for light.

I remember going to my Meme's as a kid. All six of my family would pack into the van. We'd head toward Brownwood. Sometimes we'd stop and get powdered donuts or some other sugary treat on the way. When we were almost there we'd peel our eyes searching for the houses and buildings dotted just over the hill so we could shout "I see Brownwood first!".

But I also distinctly remember the middle of the trip. Somewhere in between Dublin and Comanche, around Proctor, there was a grove of Pecan trees. Approaching, it just looked like a mess of trees. But I always knew that if I kept watching, when we got to the right place, I'd see trees lined up perfectly diagonal. For seconds they'd be unarranged again, and then in moments, I'd see them in perfect vertical rows. I looked for those trees on Brownwood trips.

They remind me of life. It seems so blurry, sometimes. So chaotic. In life, the light seems diffused; mixed in with the dark, creating dull, somber shades. There are times that we do have more questions than answers; more disarray than order. The problem may well be that as we grow, we often forget to focus. Like the blotched grass in my path this morning, our hope fades and we get discouraged. Sometimes we're just downright tired. We forget to be the girl who watches until the trees line up in perfect order.

…13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:13,14

The situation we see as a hopeless mess is in His hands. We need not worry. We need not sink down in the gray. We just have to keep our eyes focused, knowing the one who sends forth the rays of the sun is a God of order. He's a God of peace. And he's a God of victory. Just wait for it!

Hayden: Things I’ve Learned from Being Your Mom

Kristi Burden • 20 October, 2013

It's ten days before your seventeenth birthday. I find myself eating up bits of time we get to spend together and letting go things I once thought important like whether or not there are dirty socks under your bed. I've always hoped I'd be able to teach you everything you need to know, and that you'd learn and practice everything I'd taught you. Funny though, the years have passed quickly and you still have a world of learning before you. However, you left and will continue to leave, an indelible mark on my heart. Oh how I've learned from you; I could tell you a hundred life-impacting ways. But I think I'll keep it light.

Ten Things I've Learned From You:

10. I've learned that it's ok to not be in a hurry. Sometimes we need to make time to slow it down, so as to glory in our surroundings. We don't always have to move "like a cheetah" even though that's all I told you when you were a preschooler stopping for every bug and rock.

9. If dessert is good enough, it's totally acceptable to lick your plate.... or your fingers. It might make the person who made it feel good knowing that you enjoyed it so much.

8. I've come to know that even the most blunt and innocent objects (like a glass of water) can be turned into weapons of sibling torture

and that chair railing is the perfect spot to stick that wad of gum you may want to chew again tomorrow.

Taken somewhere between broken arm #1 and broken arm #2

7. I've learned what a broken arm looks like, without needing an x-ray

6. It's never too early to have a love for philosophy/psychology; things like what makes people tick and who makes the world go round.

5. Nothing good happens after midnight, except for mother/son conversations about life.....just because.

4. You can never have too many pocketknives

or jugs of milk.

3. I've learned that homemade gifts crafted from ordinary things, like a BB gun and an empty can of Dr. Pepper are the best gifts a mom can get. The flattened framed piece of aluminum bearing the word "Mom" in BB enforced holes is the most delightful piece of art I own.

2. A hug is truly a healing agent.

1. You can fit a bed, dresser drawers, a loveseat, a small entertainment center with a sizeable flat screen and a recliner in a bedroom, but you couldn't fit more love in this mom's heart.

Happy last ten days of being sixteen!

Thursday Thoughts Wanted/ Check out God’s Girlies New Outfit

Kristi Burden • 18 October, 2013

I'm impatient. So I got you to come on over here even though I really haven't written anything new. I spent four hours (I'm lying. It was much longer than that) working on here last night. Noticing yesterday how bright and cheery the classrooms are at Rylie's school geared me up. Each room is painted in some nice rich hue. Almost made me want to learn. And paint........ not really. So since I don't want to paint I decided to spiffy up this site. For some reason my other theme has given me some trouble. You may have noticed the site has been slow-running. I'm hoping this will be better. Below I've reposted a renewed invitation for you to come on over and write something. I'd like you to be my guest. It's the least you could do since I spent all this time sprucing the place up.

Thursday Thoughts Wanted

Guest writers, I've Missed You.

It's been a few weeks since we've had someone share "A Thursday for Your Thoughts"; that's the bad news. The good news is, there are still nine Thursdays left in 2013. That means nine on-line opportunities to encourage someone(s)

Here's your opportunity to tell your story

or share your super-easy five ingredient/five-star meatloaf.

We'd love to hear your testimony

or your thoughts on life.

Tell us how you got your toddler potty-trained, your first grader to keep his room clean

or how you keep your pre-teen drama-free

Suggestions and solutions welcome, but not required.

-Sometimes knowing there other parents out there who are clueless, but trying-

frustrated, but sticking to it-helps us know we're not alone.

Or maybe you've been there and done that; a sage with wisdom-please share!

We'd love to hear from you youngsters too. Tell us how to ~~twitter~~, I mean tweet, or tell us what the perfect parent looks like to you.

Pictures wanted; we love pictures.

No minimum/ maximum word count or writing experience required.

Just write.

Send your contribution or questions to kristiburden@gmail.com

Here are a few previous contributions to

"A Thursday for Your Thoughts":

A poem by Alison Howell- http://kristiburden.com/?p=4149

On loss by Cindy Huff- http://kristiburden.com/?p=2374

Waiting for God's plan by Jane Crain-http://kristiburden.com/?p=2608

Beauty tips by Mikala DeVillier-http://kristiburden.com/?cat=316

Or read them all by clicking on "A Thursday for Your Thoughts" under the categories heading to the right.

Can't wait to hear from you.

A Prescription for Dealing with Bullying (with God’s Girlies Pics) • 2 Comments

Kristi Burden • 17 October, 2013

As moms we don't usually think our kids need much guidance on bullying, unless it's to defend themselves against being bullied. I bet there aren't many moms who think their children are bullies. For one thing we don't always get to see how our children behave around other children. Besides that, the word bully is akin to being a villain, THE bad guy, and that's not our kid. The word is so negatively charged. Who would dare to admit to their child being one? It's best, I suppose to teach our kids what it means to be kind and of the weight of our words and actions toward others (not forgetting the consequences of our standing by in silence and inaction).

October is Bully Awareness Month. I'm sharing some of the pictures of our last God's Girlies gathering. We talked about kindness. We talked about forgiveness. We mustered up some boldness. This means we talked about God, our guide in tough times. I've been reminded of an awesome verse that I think addresses bullying perfectly.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly

and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

God has shown us. Christ's life on earth provided the perfect example. And he still "shows us what is good" through the work of His Spirit within us. But we have bad memories. We forget what good is when we're faced with self-preservation. We fail at being kind time and time again because we're selfish creatures looking out for number one. The point? We're not born selfless, and even when we're taught what is good, we forget and we get distracted. Thankfully, He has shown us (two thousand years ago and today) what is good.

He tells us to act justly while the world tells us to act like everybody around us- so to not stick out like a sore thumb, making ourself a perfect target for ridicule. Acting justly, or morally right usually isn't convenient or popular. It usually requires stepping out in boldness. Telling a coach that someone is being mistreated daily in the locker room or standing up to the person who is belittling, may make you some temporary enemies. Sitting by the kid who is alone at the lunch table or pairing up with the kid who is always the last to get a partner may lower your social status by a few points. Still, God wants us to do what is right in His eyes. We usually know, deep down, what that is. Kindness is morally right; being kind is being just.

God requires that we love mercy. I like to think of grace as getting what you don't deserve. Mercy is not getting what you deserve. I think of the movie Mean Girls, amongst other movies, where you're totally rooting for the mean girls to get that they deserve. You've probably wanted revenge on someone who's hurt you. Wanting revenge comes naturally. Remember this! -There are a lot of things that occur naturally (like pimples and spoiled milk ). Natural or not, they aren't good or desirable to anyone with good sense. What comes natural isn't necessarily right. Acting like a bully comes naturally. Usually a person is acting out against some insecurity or anger that they hold within. It's still wrong.

I'm thankful that God is merciful to me. I don't want to get what I deserve. I don't spend a single day living exactly as I should. God says we are to love mercy. I think that means not hating people who behave bullyishly. We should be praying for the person being bullied, but the bully needs our prayer too. They both need more Jesus (Don't we all?).

Walk humbly with your God

In our most honest thoughts, we would probably realize that we've behaved like a bully at times. We would remember that we've been in the most unfortunate place of being victimized by someone's bad behavior. We've stood by and witnessed pure meanness; a participant by our mere presence. A song I love (a special rendition of the song "Stand By Me") carries the line "No matter who you are, No matter where you go in life, You gonna need somebody to stand by you". If you're expecting that person to be your best friend or even your mom, get set to be disappointed. As much as I loyally love my daughters, my walk isn't always straight and I'm not always able to be beside them. We all need to walk with Jesus, listening for his voice, even when He's telling us to do something we don't want to. -Even when He's telling us NOT to do or say something that we have the urge to. Walking humbly with God means that his direction becomes more important than the one we want to take.

The world needs more kindness, more of God.

Whatever you do, don't miss this video that Rebecca Mosley made of our God's Girlies group. I've watched it at least a dozen times. These girls inspire me. It's on my wall on Facebook. It's also on the God's Girlies wall. I'm trying to figure out how to get it on here.