The Lord is my strength and my shield ; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exhults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength
I've always said if I could choose a time period to live in, I'd choose to live in the pioneer times. I'd be happy in my simplicity with my log cabin and fresh-baked bread. I'd look good in a bun and no make-up. Then again, in the pioneer days there would be no Google to search for the definition of the word 'docent' or 'cicerone'. I wouldn't be able to find a recipe by typing the words 'tomato, feta and avocado' into my phone.
And I wouldn't be able to search for the answer to questions like "Why do birds perch on power lines?".
I actually did that.
The other day I was feeling overwhelmed (surprise, surprise... I stay in a constant state of some degree of overwhelmance /made up word alert/).
As I was racing to the car I spotted a group of birds situated on the line in our backyard. I've seen them there a hundred times.
I envy those birds; their being so stable,
unmoved by all the world hurrying around them
They're unafraid of falling, those birds.
They know.......I mean they really know they have no better place to be than on those heights; it's the place where their grasp is firm.
I jumped in the car and did a quick google search "Why do birds perch on power lines?" hoping that I might find an answer; anticipating that God might have carefully situated nature once more to teach me something.
Here's what I found:
Many birds like a view from the highest vantage point possible...., said Miyoko Chu, director of communications for the Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology....
Call me simple-minded, but a bird's eye view is just what I need.
I need a placewhere I am not overcome by appointments and my unchecked list of obligations.
A place where I can be still, even when I have to keep moving.
I want to be in that place where I can survive things gone wrong
like a sticky kitchen floor from spilled mandarin oranges
or sick kids and one kid that I had a big fat blow out with
A place above difficult circumstances.
I need my own powerline.
I'm glad to be reminded that I have one. God kindly tucked it deep within me so it might be with me wherever I go, whatever may befall me........... Makes me think of a song.
My heart has no desire to stay
Where doubts arise and fears dismay
Though some may dwell where these abound
My prayer my aim is higher ground
I want to live above the world
Though Satan's darts at me are hurled
For faith has caught the joyful sound
The song of saints on higher ground
(Higher Ground)
The power to live beyond the mess is within us.
On second thought, the pioneer days didn't have google, power lines or this hymn that's got me humming again. I'll take today... and I'll be thankful for my vantage point.
Well we survived another birthday party. I'm not talking the benign kind; you know where the grandparents come and there's cake with candles and singing and a couple of presents, and then the adults have coffee and visit? I like those kind.
This was another kind. Rylie recently brought it to my attention that she's never had a "friend party". I've found a perfectly good excuse for her to not have one every year.
She's the third kid. I've learned from her older siblings that friend parties can be nightmares.
Pandora's box is always one of the things unwrapped and opened at the parties I've had for the kids. Things have been broken. Stuff has been spilled..... including tears. I remember one party sitting catatonic in the middle of the floor while the children ran around in a circle and threw bits and pieces of wrapping paper in the air in some sort of frightening sacrifice ritual. Another time (a slumber party gone wrong) a sandwich of some sort (slathered in ketchup and ranch, topped with pickles and cheese slices) was built in my underclothes that were heisted from my room. I have a picture of it, but I'll spare you.
(Sigh.) Memories.
Rylie had her "friend party" at Max Bowl Saturday.
8 Years Old-First Ever Friend Party
I just knew her birthday cake was some sort of bad omen. I'd grabbed it at HEB. I told the lady behind the counter (who did not ask) twice how to spell Rylie's name....... She still spelled it wrong. However she let me know it was no big deal as she scraped off the incorrect letters and squirted nice, thick purple letters to disguise the error. Hours later the icing on two sides of the cake wilted, looking somewhat like a landslide.
But we carried on.
Jason wanted to turn around and go home when we had a hard time finding a parking spot at the bowling alley. I'm pretty sure the inside was crowded too, but I could barely see a thing- except for red and green laser twinkles and whatever fluoresced with the black light.
I was terrified that a kid in my care was going to get lost or snatched. There were a couple of times that a kid would try to wander over to the arcade. I'd bring them back. I guess it's the teacher in me, but I pretty much did a headcount over and over the whole time we were there.
I drew imaginary lines for them at the border of our bowling lanes much like an air traffic controller and told them to stay inside them. I even dangled the $5 arcade cards literally over the heads of the two escapees as an encouragement to stay put. I was a total party pooper.
I hemmed them in.
I do a lot of hemming.
I hem myself in too; tight, like the shirt that I attempted to put on the day before yesterday that got stuck at my shoulders (I love that shirt, but it's too binding). I hem myself in to where there's no freedom, only security with fear of what exists beyond my safe place (Is that really security)?
I have no business hemming really. I can't even sew on a button.
We survived the party, and good news, nobody was hurt and no tears were shed. I've returned to the world where I do my best to control my surroundings; my personal Gilligan's Island. Still, with certainty life will throw me curve balls tomorrow that force me to step outside my safe borders.
On all occasions it does me good to remember that there's a master seamster:
Waiting on texts from your teenager to assure you he's ok
New opportunities; ones you aren't sure you can handle
In the mystery and in the scared-known, we can rest assured:
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
It seems lately that letters have become a popular way to express our feelings about public figures. In the past few weeks I've seen letters addressed to Miley Cyrus and her dance partner Robin Thicke which aired grievance toward their lewd public display at the VMA's. I don't keep up with football, but apparently Johhny ("Football") Manziel has committed what ESPN has referred to as "inexcusable antics" and has become the subject of a few "what not to be like" posts. These public letters are addressed to pop icons who will never read the words so carefully typed out. They will be read by those of us who watch from the sidelines, those of us with impressionable children and grandchildren.
Me and my girls
These letters use people in the public eye (who we can hardly ignore) to remind us how depraved we are without God as our guide, which is great. But it kind of stinks that it's the undesirable behavior that's getting so much attention. That's why I wanted to write a letter to you.
Dear Sadie,
I'm a huge fan of Duck Dynasty. Living next door to Louisiana, and having been raised in a small-town, I rather feel like you're my neighbor- or someone I'd want to be my neighbor. I love the idea of simple life that focuses on faith and family. I'm thrilled that your family's show has been such a big hit. I've been asked a dozen times which character on the show is my favorite. And I must say that I have a hard time saying because you all play such a special part. God is the coolest when it comes to our design. He purposes each person to bring something special to the "table" of life.
You though Sadie have caught my attention.
I've seen the video of you and your friend Kolby advertising your Monday segment "I am Different". Here's the link for anybody who hasn't:
I love it that you're sharing that it's ok to follow God's view of living versus the world's view; the one we find on most reality shows and in everywhere else in the media.
I'm giddy that you're using God's word as one of authority instead of pointing girls to "what guys think or want" or even basing your words on your own opinion (you are famous after all).
I also noticed that you're coming out with your own collection of prom dresses. I love that you're not shying away from purity; you're rather bold with it.
This is SUCH a big deal.
I so admire you sitting on the porch swing (in the video) putting your faith out there, all the while being nervous knowing full well that it may draw criticism from those who think differently than you or simply from those who make a habit of bringing others down.
This is an altogether different thing than standing behind your parent's faith in hopes that the living out of their faith pretty much covers you too.
You're owning your faith. I like that.
There may be young girls out there that think this endeavor, and that your life in general, is easy. Afterall, you have money, fame and good looks to boot. But I know better. Life isn't easy. Life as a believer isn't always easy either, but life as a believer is one filled with hope and promise..
I just want to say that "this thing that you're doing" is worth it. I wish I had lived out my faith more boldly.
So to you and to every other girl out there:
I think I speak for all moms of faith when I say-
I can guarantee you'll not regret teenage years well-lived and God-centered. You will however, regret times when you base your decisions on fickle feelings instead of what you know is right. You will do some of both.
Know that I and thousands of moms are behind you. We're a part of "that cloud of witnesses" and we're on the sidelines cheering you on. We're over the moon excited to hear you talk about your relationship with Christ and of purity instead of things that won't matter next month when the calendar page is flipped.
We're praying for you; praying that God will guide you in your willingness to be a light. We're praying that your desire for Him will continue to grow.
We won't expect you to be perfect. We pray that you'll experience His endless, matchless grace when you do get out of step. We pray that the knowledge of that grace will help you get back into step without your wallowing in guilt or shame.
We pray..
-that on days when you feel ordinary, God would remind you that he has created you wonderfully with unique purpose
and on days when you feel extraordinary and maybe even a little self-absorbed (like we all do) that God would humble and overwhelm you by His greatness.
You have our prayer that in the busyness of life-when you're trying to do everything right- but you just feel tired, that you will remember to "Just be still and know that He is God"
He is God on bad hair days
And He's God on the days when it seems like the whole world is crashing down around you.
We pray that you will be surrounded by Godly influence and that even in your youth, that you'll be one too.
Our prayer is that you will be thankful for a family who has made God their first love. A depth of that knowledge will help you to trust them in tough times when you have disagreements.
Be confident when your plans don't pan out, that the plans God has for you are better than the ones you dreamed for yourself. I personally hope your Monday video views skyrocket.
God tells us in Hebrews 10:24
Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works......encouraging one another
There's a lot being "stirred up" these days. I just want to say thank you for what you're stirring up.
Growing up on dirt roads and single lane highways, you often get stuck behind someone you can't get around. And so you putt behind them until you approach a straightaway where you can see no one's coming. Then you blow around them. Except for my Granny. I remember several times in High School I would get behind her old white Ford on the way to Hico. She drove 45 miles an hour on the highway (MUCH slower than I drove), but I didn't have the heart to pass her even on the 200 yard passing lane. Leaving her behind seemed inconsiderate.
I don't like to slow down for just anybody.
I get frustrated when people are too distracted to go immediately on green. I'm unnerved when HEB shoppers block the aisle with their cart and with their person. I have things to do (Let's Go People!).
Today was another story.
Rylie's birthday and Baptism are Sunday. We have family coming and our fridge is empty. Plus I'm STILL buying school supplies. Today at Wal-Mart I filled the cart to overflowing; with heavy stuff. I was using all of my body weight plodding at a 45 degree angle to get my buggy to move.
Leaving Wal-Mart I was worn out, but on my last leg. Some young turkey darted out in front of me on the crosswalk and I had to screech my cart to a halt with sixty eggs perched precariously on my cart's top. That's when I thought it....
YIELD TO THE HEAVY LOAD!
It would have been little effort on his part to wait for me to cross.
Just a minute. I know this guy.......... He's me.
In all my "lists of things to do" I allow myself the right of way when I should really be yielding.
Last Monday Rylie got her routine two shots. She's normally a real trooper. But for some reason this particular Monday she tensed up come shot-time. She told me they hurt. The next day she had two bruises to prove it. The following two shot visits were met with tears and great anxiety; a heavy load. She sat in the chair sobbing; urgently begging them to let her get her breath (for like 2 minutes). I rushed her, telling her to get it over with. I knew they had other patients to attend to. But they were so patient and kind. They yielded to her fear. I write this paragraph at the allergy clinic three visits later with a happy tear-free girl beside me.
I'm glad they made time for compassion. I think it made the difference.
Just yesterday Hallie's $80 mouthpiece for band went missing; major crisis for her. Not only was it an expensive item but one she needs to participate in class daily. She tore her locker up after school trying to find it. Quite upset and in a panic she went to her old fifth grade teacher's classroom (fifteen minutes after school let out). Her teacher (who I'm sure was ready to go home) called me, comforted Hallie and waited for me to get up to the school.
I'm thankful to Mrs. Gaspard that being there for Hallie was more important than whatever was on her list for after school. The first week of school is exhausting. She could have hugged her, patted her head and sent her to the office. She could have let her use her phone and then sent her outside to wait. She had the right of way to go on home. I'm glad she didn't.
Sometimes we need to yield whether or not we have a reason to go
Give way to those carrying a heavy load
Don't wave hurriedly from a distance at the widow in the church pew. She's lonely. I know you're in a hurry. But go give that woman a hug. -treat everybody like Granny
Overlook your husband's socks...and pants on the floor, just this once when you know he's had a hard week at work.
Invite your little neighbor that lives with her grandparents to the movies with you- even if she does talk your ear off.
Have some grace for the waiter who hasn't refilled your tea glass and has yet to bring your food if you know he's waiting too many tables, some tables with crotchety customers.
You have places to go. And people to see. But sometimes the very person you need to see, the person that needs to see you- is right in front of you.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ...Philippians 2:1-5
I did not get perfect parents. They did not get a perfect daughter (anyone?) I always knew they wanted God's very best for me, though. I heard that and I visibly saw it.
One way was my mom started leading a Mom's prayer group (called Moms In Touch International) when I was in high school. Every Monday morning my mom plus 3 or 4 of my friends' moms would gather at our dining room table. My mom called it Moms In Touch. I called it super inconvenient (I mean, was I expected to get my own jeans from the dryer??) and somewhat embarrassing ("Jordan's mom is like super religious").
Without fail, those moms met. Sometimes just 2 of them, because of illness or other unexpectancies. I never knew what they prayed specifically about. Honestly, I never really cared to ask.
I just noticed, and I never forgot the image of those moms praying together.
Fast forward through college, getting married, and moving to Nederland. I was attending the Women's Bible Study at FBC Nederland and I heard an announcement about MITI (Moms In Touch International, which is now called Moms In Prayer), I was immediately attracted to it. I had my own school age kids now, and I wanted to be a part.
I was so nervous (even though Nita Hughes, who was the facilitator, was and still is one of the gentlest spirits I know) but I felt a connection right away with the other moms. I went a few times and the next year my kids started public school one in 2nd and one in Kindergarten.
Three or four of us met, and I cried through the whole prayer time. It hit me square on that these were the same verses and similar prayers that were prayed over me by my own mom. God's mercy nearly knocked me out. I realized wholeheartedly that the prayers of my mom's prayer group had been heard. All the poor choices, ugly situations, people I had associated with came pouring into my mind.
He was showing me that I had been spared; perhaps by a debilitating car crash, disease, teen pregnancy, or possibly even death. Maybe, but most importantly I believe I had been spared of a life apart from Him.
All these things were specifically prayed for week after week, and I am a living testimony that "..the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" (James 5:16). I am so glad I didn't get what I deserved (and still deserve).
I am so thankful for my prayerful mom.
I am not a praying expert.
I'm just a mom with a desire to have God's very best for her children, just like my mom.
I think you can relate.
I want you to know that there is a small group of us that meets every week to pray specific prayers for our children and their schools. I want you to know that we do not meet on Monday mornings while our kids get ready for school (yikes! I guess Monday mornings were different way back then). We would like you to join us. We meet for an hour or less. We strictly pray. It's confidential, and we take that very seriously.
We meet at FBC Nederland in the Education Building.
Room 108
Sundays @ 6:00
Wednesdays @7:00
We recognize it is a privilege to pray with moms, especially when it's about our most treasured "possessions."
I truly believe there should be many Mom in Prayer groups in our area. If it doesn't work out for you to come to ours, start your own.
You can do it, and you and your family will be blessed.
I want to end by doing a little exercise together - insert your child or children's' names in the blanks below............
May the God of hope fill ___________ with all joy and peace as he/she trusts in You, so that ____________ may overflow with hope by the power of Your Holy Spirit.
(Romans 15:13)
May_________be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. May he/she put on the armor of God so that he/she can take his/her stand against the devil's schemes.
(Ephesians 6:10-11)
Now, go back and insert the children of someone else.
That's the heart of Moms in Prayer.
Be blessed,
Jordan
About Jordan: Jordan is the mom of four fabulous kids and she's a coach's wife. One of the things that amazes me about the Stoker family is their devotion to being at church; even every Sunday during busy football season. She has a warm smile the size of Texas even though she's from Iowa. She's one of the first people I text when I have a prayer need. When she says she's going to pray for me, I believe it! She's a beauty; from her gorgeous long locks to her compassionate heart. I love this lady like a sister.
Please consider writing something for our "A Thursday for Your Thoughts" segment. On second thought, don't consider it. Just do it. Knowing how you've overcome a struggle or hearing how God has blessed your family is such a joy for our readers. Have a good recipe? Share it. Is there a must-read book you'd like to tell us about? We've had nine year old writers and writers from the Pacific Northwest; everybody's qualified to share. All you have to do is send me your writing on email. Pictures are great, but not necessary. Others will be blessed and you will be too. I'll be checking my email.
I've been asked this question quite a few times. The only answer I can usually muster is "I'm not sure". I'm waiting to see what God wants it to be. Here's what God has shown me God's Girlies is, so far.
This is God's Girlies.
This is too.
These are God's Girlies.
Generations of girls bridging the gap to be friends and confidants; family. We offer advice when you need it and a hug.... maybe a glass of tea, a cup of coffee or a juice box when you don't.
We're in desperatel need of prayer whether we know it or not.
We're sisters, grandmas, mamas and daughters in need of companions whether we think we have time for one, or not. We talk on the phone, we text, hang out at each others' house (not enough). We chat it up when we meet unexpectedly in Dillards.
These are God's Girlies. Well, almost........
Men who have little clue how we work yet they love and support us. They pray for us and encourage us. They teach us too. Some of them even read this blog. I'm blown away by that; over the moon grateful.
We're big sisters and little sisters
and we're girls who feel like sisters.
We're friends from afar.
Time and distance has no bearing on our friendship.
God's Girlies are strangers with a connection. We're girls who strike up a conversation with the check-out lady in Wal Mart. We read sweet stories like the one about the ninety-six year old man we've never met who wrote a song for the wife he just lost. We smile a blurry-eyed smile. We share in the pain of a mom in a restaurant with an inconsolable baby. We stop and listen to the zany songs of street performers and
we remember how important it is to stop and listen.
We reach out across computer screens, but our bond is deeper. We're girls that laugh and cry in the same minute; we're a mess. We get angry. We learn. We grow. We're selfish and we serve. We pray.
It's much more fun to do life together.
We're a community that knows that God is our help in time of trouble. Sometimes that help comes in the form of a friend.
Two more things help sum up who God's Girlies are-
1.) God's Girlies-Last Sundays of the months, young girls about first grade through sixth, meet up with their moms or some other mature girly and fellowship together. We play games, do a craft and a devotion. We've had so much fun that a group of High School girls have decided to join us as mentors. I LOVE THIS GROUP OF GIRLS! Check out in the top menu-"Just for GG's" to see some of our previous get-togethers and activities!
2.) A Thursday for Your Thoughts- much more precious than a penny for your thoughts. Thursday is reserved on this website for ladies who want to recipe/story/learning experience/share. No writing experience or club membership required. We're just girls sharing our hearts. To read some past posts go to the top menu and click on "A Thursday for Your Thoughts". My cooler than cool friend Jordan is sharing tomorrow about our awesome mom's prayer group. You don't want to miss. So, y'all come back now, ya hear?!
I'm in between loads of laundry so I'm taking the uninterrupted opportunity to write. We have less than stellar wireless service which means my internet connection stops abruptly if one of the kids decides to microwave a hot pocket (Not today; the kids are at school 🙂 ).
Did anybody see Miley Cyrus on the VMA's last night? I didn't watch it, but Facebook lit up with posts about her performance. So I did what any curious person would do. I looked it up on YouTube. I can honestly say I was embarrassed watching it. As Jason has said before, "I felt like I needed to go wash my eyeballs".
I remember Miley years ago when she played Hannah Montana. Hallie watched the show some, but she really liked Miley's music. I did too. Her music started off kid friendly, but it wasn't too long before Miley started posing provocatively in photos. Her lyrics mirrored that negative change.
I remember Hallie praying in third grade (or so) that God would help Miley not to lie. She said that Miley, in an interview had stated the Bible was her favorite book. Hallie prayed saying she didn't think Miley would be acting that way if the Bible was her favorite book.
If I had the choice for Hallie to never have heard of Miley Cyrus or for her to have known of Miley and her shortcomings I'd choose that she knows her, and prays for her.
It's not just Miley that disappoints. And it's not just music.
I find myself perched on the shakiest of teeter-totters as a parent.
Bizarre, unhealthy relationships and families with an alternate design other than what God intended are injected into what we see on TV. Young voices sing "I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched it. I let burn." and Eminem glorifies being in an abusive relationship (even the clean version). It's one thing to see the broken. It's an altogether different thing to encourage, even promote it. Watch and see, there will be girls dressing up like the Kardashians this Halloween.
Not one to protect my kids from everything, I allow them to be exposed somewhat to a deteriorating society (It's almost impossible to avoid). We allowed our kids to see "The Hunger Games". I read the book to them on one of our Colorado trips. I'm well aware of the violence in the book. However we had good conversations about Christ-like sacrifice and not losing yourself to the pandering crowd.
We are in the world.
We are called to "not" be of it.
I'm all for protecting my kids. They rather abhor the fact that I get on their ipods and go through their music googling song lyrics of titles found in their playlist. I know they intentionally get some songs they know they shouldn't have. Other catchy songs are purchased without a thought as to what the lyrics mean providing a chance to talk and learn about what they mean (Words mean things). Either way, inappropriate songs are deleted.
Sound wishy-washy?
Here's what I'm thinking.
1. I don't want to shelter my kids to the point that they have no awareness of evil. I want them to recognize evil for evil. I want Jesus to be the mark of goodness they use to measure all else.
2. Any exposure I allow the kids, should NOT be exposure without supervision. I'm almost nervous to let the kids watch TV (even the Disney channel now) without my checking every few minutes or watching the TV with them. I am becoming more and more convicted about the times where I haven't been so cautious.
3. What I allow the kids to watch and "listen to" HAS to become more of a matter of prayer. It's ok for me to say no. And it's ok for them not to like it. You best be sure we won't be watching the VMA's. I'm done with Super Bowl half-times too. Don't let the Jones's idea of what to watch dictate what you do. PRAY ABOUT IT.
4. It remains important to have an open dialogue. There have been dozens of conversations that have been accompanied by pink cheeks and sometimes disagreement, but hopefully the kids know that there is not an off-limits topic. I walked in to Hallie's room one time to find her watching "Toddlers and Tiaras" My instinct was to tell her to turn it off. Instead we talked about how mere toddlers' innocence had been stripped and replaced with flippers and spray tans.
5. Hollywood, Nashville and the media provide examples of talent and physical beauty. In song, on film and gracing the pages of magazines these people appear heroic and perfect. Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong were quite the guys to aspire to be like until we learned that they both had problems with different kinds of cheating. Hayden and I had a conversation about Lance Armstrong. I told him that Lance Armstrong is just a person. He wasn't as good as they made him out to be in the first place and probably wasn't the devil they made him out to be recently either. It was a good reminder that people are people. Star role models are hard to come by. We need to talk about that. They're fallen people. Jesus and people who've made him their role model are the ones to pay closest attention to.
6. I have to make the effort to pour God into them. Though I fail, I need to be an example. I need to PRAY PRAY PRAY that as right and wrong are before them, that they'll choose right. And I pray that they'll be surrounded by a community of grace that loves them when they don't.
7. I must make time to turn the music down and the TV off.
It is my job to help them make sense of ALL the voices.
20 Wisdom cries aloud in the street,
in the markets she raises her voice; 21 at the head of the noisy streets she cries out Proverbs 1:20-21
To read "Dear Me and Other Parents running around trying to get prepared for a great school year" click here- http://kristiburden.com/?p=6068
Three of my favorite grace blooms
I have a terrible time growing things. My plants either wither and die or they explode like my rosebush that spilled its billowy barbs over the driveway and sidewalk looking like the scene from Sleeping Beauty where Prince Phillip is trying to rescue Aurora.
You want to talk about kids? My best attempts at growing them Godly often fail. I fret over proper parenting. Despite parenting websites that tell you how many books your kid should read a day and what age you should let your girl start wearing makeup there's no fail-proof way to raise them. "Raise a child in the way he should go" are words to live by but I go the wrong way. Constantly.
I water too much; sometimes not enough.
Planned and well-tended to blooms, wither and fade.
The well-meant grows out-of-hand
"Mom! You let me wear eye shadow LAST year. Why is it a problem now?"
"I always watch this many shows".
It's crazy how things grow here in Southeast Texas. Not so much the things I've planted though. I planted a Lantana bush. Here's what's left of it (Ignore the weed in the background). I hate sharing a picture of something so barren.
But strangely a Lantana bush is growing eight yards away by the back door, not planted by human hands. I can only guess that the wind carried the seed across the yard. I haven't done a thing to deserve its beautiful pink and rhthymarm orange blooms
I've decided to call them grace blooms.
There are grace blooms of a different kind in the front yard where the unmanageable rosebush once grew.
Beauty given to me without the asking
like my gregarious child whose free speech made me nervous for the first few years, who has taught me the gift of boldly approaching others who may need encouragement or a friend
by "my stop and smell-the-roses" child who has taught me to slow down and enjoy the ordinary
and by my strong-willed one, who I pray will be better able than I to handle the pressure the world puts forth
I didn't pray for a single one of those characteristics in my children, but I'm thankful.
Beauty springing forth with no effort or goodwill on my part
Like when I stumble upon an opportunity to hang out with my kids and good and meaningful conversations come up like "Is it good to pray for forgiveness for sin that we don't even know we committed?".
Beauty appearing in the unlikeliest of ways
Like the time I was prepared to inspire the inmates at the prison revival with my spirit-filled smile and warm handshake only to be blown away that the spirit beat me there.
or the time that a dying woman showed me that death can come with grace and dignity and peace.
Grace blooms come through an unexpected hug or when a needed message presents itself through a song on the radio.
Grace blooms remind us:
We shouldn't feel inadequate over our flowering failures.
We can mourn lost flowers and broken dreams if we must, but we will keep our heads up to see other blooms God has placed before us.
We will appreciate all blooms, no matter how short-lived.
We will give God credit for all that grows.
We will seek out God's grace blooms, which are too many to count by the way.
Dear Me and Other Parents running around trying to prepare yourselves for a great school year,
It's that time again. The school year seems to wind around about as quickly as the long arm on the clock. You're never quite ready for the new year to begin. You're making that mental list of the things you planned to do over the summer that didn't happen. And you're scrambling making sure that the kids have new socks and jeans, and the right kind of binder so they won't (and you won't) appear to be less than serious about their education. This year is no different from the rest.
But I do want to write to you, urging you to remember some things this school year. August, like January is a month full of good intentions. Those well-planned, smooth and seamless days will last about as long as the lunch money check you send.
You might as well drop your perfect school year dream.
There will be times when Hallie forgets her homework at school. Having consequences, especially if it becomes a habit, is fine, but don't worry about it too much. Don't freak out and don't let her freak out either. Her figuring out how to approach the situation will help her develop her problem-solving skills.
Hayden is more than likely going to take a test that he isn't prepared for. Asking him every day if he has a test the next day is ineffective. By the twenty-eighth time you've asked him, He's thinking that you sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown (wah wah wah-wah...) if he hears you at all. He's not once in the past responded to your question with "Hey Mom, glad you said something. I do have a History exam. I think I'll go study for it right now." Maybe have some expectation that he's aware of. Let him reach those expectations, or not. Go from there. Sheesh!
RYLIE IS GOING TO TALK IN CLASS. You know that, right? It's in her nature. It's not a bad thing. She's done pretty good the past two school years not getting into much trouble for it. Remember that her disrespecting the teacher or being unkind to someone is more to be upset about than her being chatty.
You're going to forget to sign her homework folder several times regardless of any "system" you set up to check her folder. Be gracious with yourself just as you are going to be gracious when she slips up and chats during class. If her not having her folder signed ruins her day, you've probably missed teaching her that we have imperfect days, and that it's ok.
Stay off that Home Access grading system. Or at least limit yourself for goodness sake. There's no need to check it like you do, willing good grades to appear, thinking that if you check it enough, new grades will pop up. It's not that helpful how you use it. You pick up the kids all nonchalant, and then in two minutes the afternoon mood has been ruined having been turned into a lengthy lecture on responsibility and self-discipline just because you spotted a bad grade .
Make the kids ease up on TV. They watch it too much. And you've already missed having them seven hours of the day.
Don't make such a big deal when Hallie's ponytail is messy-looking (Need I pull out old pictures of your hair?). It sure shouldn't EVER be the last thing you say to her before dropping her off in the morning.
Do try to keep a bedtime. They need their rest. So many times that's when you finally recognize that you let the afternoon pass without spending any time with them. Make time for them before 8:30 at night.
I know you're praying that they have good healthy friendships. Keep prayingthat.
Pray for their teachers too. Pray that they will see the good in each of your kids and that they will encourage them, love them and grow them (even when it might be a little painful).
When (if) you have a teacher that does something incredibly insensitive, or unfair, and it infuriates you, don't let the kids know. They can know that you feel that they were treated wrongly without coming unraveled. You've done that before. Remember, a certain coach yelled something terrible to one of your kids and you lost it in the car. Rylie ended up, though she was only four, asking you to chant with her "Let's ruin Coach's Life". Surely there's a better way to let your kid know that you don't like what happened to them.
Let the kids know you appreciate their teachers. Maybe it will help them appreciate them too.
Take them lunch every once in a blue moon.
Tell them what they're doing right every now and then.
Go to a movie on a Tuesday.
Help them with their homework when they need it.
Have cookies waiting at home for them when they get out of school.
Don't put all the emphasis on grades.
Have a sound idea of what they're capable of.
Have an open honest relationship with their teachers.
It's ok to get them from school a few times when they say they're sick, but they're really not.
It's also ok to tell them to tough it out a few times too.
But above all, keep in mind how quickly the school year passes and another year's gone.
Encourage them
when it seems nothing is going their way
Enjoy them
When their grades are not up to your standards.
Enjoy them
When they come home in a rotten mood.
If you forget everything else I've said, remember this
If you'll replace even a quarter of the time you do worrying and lecturing, with praying for them, it's going to be a great year.
Enjoy it.
Enjoy them.
School years won't last forever. Make memories and foster growth that will.
May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. Psalm 25:21
I put my own integrity into question this past week.
Hallie needed three immunizations to start back to school; two we got easily at the local CVS. The other shot, the second dose of the chicken pox immunization, we were told would have to be prescribed, ordered, picked up and carried to our family doctor who would then administer the shot.
This turned out to be untrue and thus the wild goose chasebegan.
I called several clinics and visited pharmacies several times. I might mention too that I spent umpteen minutes listening to jazz while on hold waiting to talk to my insurance company about immunization coverage.
That was last week. I gave myself a six-day hiatus from the shot-chasing fiasco.
This morning I picked up the phone again; my resolve renewed.
After calling two clinics, one clinic five times, I hit the jackpot. For a substantial fee, they would give the immunization. And they only had three left. Hallie threw some clothes on. And we hightailed it to Viterbo Rd. We didn't have cash which caused....you got it.... more running around. Pain.
But we got it.
After calling numerous clinics.
Despite being rejected at the pharmacy three times.
And even with runaround from the insurance company-
We got the immunization!
This may seem trite. But this was somewhat of an ordeal to me. I really wanted to get ugly with unhelpful people. What I really wanted to do was forget about the shot. I was presented with several opportunities to bypass the immunization. I had the chance to -not get- Hallie the immunization with only the slightest amount of dishonesty necessary.
#1. The notification from the school stated that the immunization could be bypassed if a letter from the parents stated that the child had already had the chickenpox virus. A lying letter only crossed my mind after the seventh failed call to clinics.
#2. The second pharmacy we visited already had the paperwork filled out saying that they had administered the shot to Hallie. The pharmacist had already signed and dated the form when we found insurance wouldn't cover. I had the form needed to give to the school though in actuality she hadn't received the shot.
Honesty is important to me, but honestly this felt like this was one of those times that it would be a little lie that wouldn't hurt anybody. I had put more than enough time and effort required to get the shot. I also have a growing and unending list of things to do (which probably doesn't include blogging). Doesn't that qualify me to tell a little lie? Shouldn't that make me exempt from shot-chasing?
I hope you're not shocked at this admission.
I'm absolutely unaware of how many times I take the crooked road; lined with white lies...................Ok... It's probably a big lie to make someone think Hallie has had a shot that she hasn't. But it would have been an easy one to tell.
I thought myself lacking integrity for even considering the easier way. And sure, there are those of you out there that it would never occur to you to be dishonest in this or similar situations.
Bottom line? I knew we had to get the shot regardless of the ill-conceived thoughts that popped into my head suggesting ways to get out of it.
The heart is deceitful....
It should always be my prayer that as I seek to do what is right that God will be faithful to help me with my feelings.
Integrity is strength of decision no matter how you groan in it's making. Integrity, I believe, is choosing what's right when what's wrong is tempting.
I wish we had been able to easily get our shots on the first try, but it was on Viterbo Road that we found the shot we needed. And it was there that I had my integrity still with me.
Integrity is not always my reality, but it is my goal.
