Tag Archives: trusting god

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In my praying, I don't ask God for all the things I'd like to ask him for. I know He'll say no to some things. I already ask for too much. Some things I'd ask for are selfish. Other things I've asked for a hundred times and I suppose He's tired of my begging.  My mom tells that she was taught as a child to never ask for things when visiting a house. "I couldn't even ask for a drink of water," she says. Funny thing is, my mom raised us the same.  I remember Ms Lola, a sweet elderly lady whose house we would visit when I was small.  She had a candy dish in plain sight on her coffee table. I always hoped that she'd offer me a butterscotch, but I sure never asked. 

I've impressed the same manners upon my kids too. I never though, expected those same manners from the kids who came to visit our house. 
 
The first church Jason pastored was in Chilton, Texas. We lived in a parsonage. Much to my delight, our house became the local hangout for the kids in town. By our second year in Chilton, I was teaching second grade. The kids from school would be waiting for me in our backyard when I got home. They were usually hungry.
 
One four year old, Santos who didn't know a lick of English, would come in and open my fridge and would scan for sweets.  (Santos didn't know how to knock either but that's beside the point). I taught Santos, amongst many things, how to say "I'm hungry.  Can I have a snack?"  He quickly forgot my suggested request, but would come to me, and with both hands pat his belly, and would say quite forcibly "Pasteles!" (which means 'sweets' in Spanish).
 
 I've never forgotten that kid. He knew what he wanted.  My kids know what they want, but like my mom and her mom before her we've taught them not to ask supposing it's rude to request anything as a guest. HE ASKED. In fact, I taught him to ask. And while he didn't ask in the format I'd suggested, he asked, knowing that I'd give him good things. 
 

.....because of your shameless audacity....he will get up and give you what you need Luke 11:8

 
Have you ever read that? Even though I've read Luke 11 a number of times, I've somehow missed those two words. 
 
Shameless audacity. 
 
Boldness without shame. 
 
It's in the passage in chapter 11 where Jesus is teaching the disciples how to pray.  Basically, after confessing the Father as holy, the prayer gets bossy. It says something like,
 
Give us...
 
Forgive us...
 
Lead us not...  Deliver us..
 
I was reminded this morning that a lot of Bible fellows just cut to the chase and told God exactly what they wanted. 
 
In prayer we are guests in the presence of God, but more than that, we are His children. 
 

...See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called the children of God; and so we are. I John 3:1

If you look at chapter 13 of Psalms, it says: Look on me and answer, O LORD. 

 
No "Pretty please". Not "If you don't mind". The Psalmist was so intimate with God that the pleasantries seemed less important than going right to the heart of the matter. 
 
 
Jesus includes his teaching on prayer in Luke 11 with this:
 

9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for[f] a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Did I always give Santos everything he asked for? I didn't. I gave him what I thought he needed, no doubt getting it wrong now and then. Our requests are made to a Holy God who knows all that we need. We trust that our Father knows how to give good gifts to His children even when what he gives isn't what we asked for. 

If I unwittingly ask for the approval of men, the answer that I get, may not be the approval of men that I sought. God may remind me that if "I am trying to please man, then I am not a servant of God". 

His answer is good. 

In the past I have asked for patience. I've never once been felt zapped with it.  Instead, God teaches me longsuffering. In His teaching, I feel his closeness. And I know that patience isn't so much a mastering of my feelings as it is a concentrated focus on God's help and presence in times that I wait. 

God's answers are always good. 

So I'll ask for all the things I see fit, for the things I desire. God knows how to say no.  And if he does say no, then I trust that no is the answer I need. The more I learn to go to God with my requests and the desires of my heart, the closer I'll grow to Him, trusting that he'll change my heart about those things I ask which I don't need and those things which aren't beneficial. 

And so very many times He says yes.

The more time we spend with God, asking, and listening, the better we know His will (the answer).

Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

 
 
 

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If you look at the world, you'll be distressed.  If you look within, you'll be depressed.  If you look at God, you'll be at rest. -Corrie ten Boom

We put Rylie's nightlight away at her request a few weeks ago. She'd wasn't afraid of the dark when she was teeny and then somehow recently discovered there must be frightening things that lurk in the dark.

I remember being deathly afraid of the dark when I was around her age.  My family lived in a double-wide trailer on what we called "our hill" up a windy dirt road. At night the coyotes would howl loud enough to create an eery serenade.  I worried every night they were going to jump through my bedroom window and feast on my nine-year-old flesh. I remember calling out to my parents, afraid.

prayer
Last night Rylie called out to me from her bedroom which shares a wall with Jason and mine. This time it was for a different reason. She told me:

"The dark isn't bothering me anymore"

"That's good," I answered.

"It's because I prayed about it," she shared.

"Well maybe you should pray about your school fears," I retorted.

"I will.  But I'll probably have to wait a few days before it works. He made me wait a few days before answering the dark thing and I bet he'll make me wait a few days on this one too."

She reminds me of a few things about prayer.

1. We often have to wait.  Thankfully we can lift up a prayer in a breath's moment.  In that moment God fully hears and understands.  He knows our prayer even before we pray it.

Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it, LORD Psalm 139:4

Waiting for the answer to our prayer isn't so easy.  We want our fears and troubles resolved.  The important thing is, we don't wait unheard and we don't wait alone.  Instead of waiting for the answer we want to our prayer which sometimes we never feel like we get, we must remember that "God is the answer". Period.

...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength...they will run and not grow weary. Isaiah 40:31

2.We do good to remember that God does answer prayer.  I'm thankful that Rylie recognizes that. I have such a prayer list for God that I regularly neglect to look back and remember all that He has done. His answers to prayer are always praiseworthy.  Thing is, His goodness has to be remembered in order for me to praise Him for what He has done.

Everyone who is pleased with God's marvelous deeds will keep them in mind. Psalm 11:2

3. Trust God in prayer. I've been convicted in the past of my attempt to be Jason's Holy Spirit; reminding him of all the things that need to be done.  I lovingly share all that he could do to make things right in the world.  Though I backslide, I officially quit that job.  That hasn't stopped me from maddeningly reminding God of all the things that need to be fixed. I'm really good at telling him the answer I think he ought to come up with for all the ills.  God knows what is best.  And even though he allows us to pray on our own behalf and the behalf of others, we do best to trust Him with the answer.

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Don't bother to give God intructions; just report for duty. -Corrie ten Boom

Prayer is handing over what we can't and shouldn't handle.  It's trusting and praising the One we know holds all things and each of us in His hands. Thankful for this reminder in the dark.

 

 

 

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I decided to use one of the emojis on Facebook this morning. You know, the ones that pop up when you click on the "feeling" category while typing a status.  You can choose from a list of emotions that have an accompanying face...(feeling happy-smiley face, feeling frustrated-clenched teeth face).  I chose "-feeling bummed". I wrote a quick status about this morning being harder to send my kids to school than that first morning in August. I posted it. And then I deleted it. I'm bummed, but more I'm worried.

I still feel a little bummed. But I'm ready to try to express myself a little more fully than a Facebook emoji. Here goes.

Jason left at five this morning to go work out. Not me. I had to get up early and make sure that I started the kids day off right. You know, I got up and prepared a (non-Pinteresty, but made with love) lunch for each of the kids. As per request, I put a note in Rylie's lunchbox inspiring her to be a world changer. And this morning, like every morning, I planted a kiss on each one's forehead sealing in wishes for a good day; a day safe from harm.

A couple of the kids were anxious about school today. One even got sick at their stomach. Breaks seem to provide a needed safe haven and rest from the challenges kids face at school. But we're back at it and as usual, some of us get nervous.   Rylie, our nine-year old reminded me of a few of those challenges in the drive-thru line at McDonalds Sunday night.  She worries about making and keeping friends, pleasing the teacher, and scoring commended on that blasted STAAR test (as if worrying about passing it weren't enough). Why wasn't she just excited about her Mighty Kid's Meal with a boy toy? Returning to school, I could tell, was a heavy thing.

She and I talked about how some grades just end up being rough, and how God's going to do something cool through it all. So yesterday, with my new Bose speaker (that I got for my fortieth birthday, that I love very much) on full blast, I played Rylie a song in the kitchen. And I got her to dance.

1.Because dancing seems to be an expression of throwing caution to the wind (Not that I know from much personal experience- Don't try to picture it).

2. Because watching her free herself, though it be in awkward motion, IS FREEING.

Earlier she'd brought up something she'd learned on Netflix about pressure on coal making diamonds.  So we talked about how that's what's happening with her this year.  She's being made into a diamond.  I played a song from Queen that I only knew six words to (which were enough). And we made that her new theme song.

Pressure, pushing down on me

Pressing down on you

And then came the next line of the song..

No man ask for....

What?!

No man asks for it?

Oh, but I do. I ask for it. I practically look for things to worry about; especially with the kids. I'm a self-made hero; looking for an adventure in saving the day, daily.  Sometimes my "saving it" consists of holding my concerns for them in a tight ball as if when I do, a barrier somehow forms around the ball of worry.  I'm ridiculous enough to think this keeps said worry from reaching and affecting my children.

And then, ironically, I'll be the pro at reminding them of all the things that aren't important in life; like silly STAAR tests that are no reflection of who they are as a person.  All the while I'm freaking out on the inside about that test; hoping she'll do well.  I've developed a Poker face with the kids.  It's my "Yeah, no big deal" face that I do my best to make when they tell me something- that on the inside feels life-altering.

Thing is, I know they know.  They know that I put pressure on myself to make all things right in the world.  And if they're anything like I know children to be, they're going to emulate the behavior.

I'm raising stressed-out mini me's; people who believe that the good life is all about the striving, striving, striving....

I'm stewing in those juices as I sit here alone this morning.  The worry, shame and "What do I do?" juices.

Need scripture.

In the day of my trouble {everyday} I call upon you, for you answer me. Psalm 86:7

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27

Pressure is inevitable.  And so we remember.

 A diamond is just a piece of coal that handled stress exceptionally well

There are pressures.  But I do good to remember, God is my handler. He is the handler of me and my kids .. my marriage and this ball on which we live.  And He handles all things well.

Now, if only I could get myself to dance

.....or go work out.

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