Dear Hallie,

Today you turn twelve.  As I've been thinking the past few days about how thankful I am for you,  old stories have flooded my mind.  And just like God does, he reminded me how stories-things written from the past are meant to teach us (not to mention, many of your stories have great entertainment value too).

How can I forget the identity you assumed for a year and a half?    You introduced yourself and insisted that people call you "White Kitty".  You often wordless, came into the kitchen in the morning on all fours ready for kitty food. You had an uncle who would try to trick you into saying you were Hallie (or anyone besides White Kitty), but you were an unbendable oak.

The world will try to tell you who you are, and it will undoubtedly tell you wrong.  The world will tell you that you are "the one who looks pretty when you wear makeup and a new outfit" or that you're "the preacher's kid".   Be true to who God made you to be.  Don't let others convince you that you're someone you're not.

A good name is to be more desired than great wealth,  (God's) Favor is better than silver and gold. Proverbs 22:1

You know my favorite story; the one where in first grade, you were asked to draw an animal that started with the letter "a".  You asked your teacher if you could draw a horse.  When she asked if horse started with "a" you shook your head no, but you continued to draw the horse.  Your teacher told me that your hand was the first to go up when asking for volunteers to share their "a" animal.  Nervous, she called on you.  You told her it was an Apaloosa.

You've always been creative, ......and secure.  You have a unique way of thinking and being.  Never trade that in to be another boring member of the crowd.  God put a Hallie Kathryn in the world, on purpose.

Do you remember sailing with another uncle one summer day; the only time you've sailed?  You spotted a small plane with a banner trailing behind bearing an advertisement for Geico.  It showed the Geico Gecko (who wasn't yet the world's most famous Gecko).  The banner had a short advertisement written.  You asked what the sign said.  Your uncle and Hayden convinced you that the sign said  "Beware of sea monsters".    With Nessie about, your sailing experience was ruined.  I watched as my fearless Hallie, who you remember had caught a chicken snake bare-handed a year before, rolled up into a ball, frozen in terror.

Don't be fooled into living in fear.  There are so many things I didn't experience simply because I refused to try, afraid that a host of eyes would see me fail.  Of course I want you to live right, but don't be afraid of messing up.  Sometimes mistakes and failures are the best learning opportunities.  I can already hear you using this one against me in the near future. And if you find yourself anxious, remember I'm here (It may not be best to talk to your uncles).

God continues to write a story through your life.  It's a story rich in love; don't ever forget that.  I'm thankful that we can look back on the pages you've lived through and that we can laugh and even learn.  I'm especially thankful for the pages where our names appear together.  I look to the pages ahead with anticipation. There's much living, learning and laughing yet to be done.

Happy Birthday.

I love you,

Mom

As a mom you want to give your children all they need to be whole.  Hayden is quickly approaching sixteen.  Regarding gifts which lead to wholeness, I've spent hours lately wondering if I've given Hayden just those things.

I think about the gifts I've fretted over; gifts I've searched for, and gifts that put an ache in my back as I've sat hunched dutifully wrapping box after box.  Most of those gifts served the purpose of bringing about temporary joy and a floor full of wrapping paper. There may have even been a few gifts that brought disappointment.

Thankfully he doesn't remember, but for his first Christmas, he received diapers, formula and rubber teething blocks. What a thrill! I'm pretty sure there were a couple of times underwear, socks or clothes of some sort were unwrapped to his secret displeasure.

Then there was that one gift we gave Hayden when he turned three. He excitedly ripped back paper to reveal his very first big boy bible with his full name embossed on the cover, "Hayden Fowler Burden".  I remember how he sweetly smiled and said, "Wow, let's see what's next!" ( interpreted: gift FAIL!)

Hayden's childhood is fading.

And while he is still entertained by simple joys like snapping pencils and catching food tossed at his mouth (who doesn't enjoy those things?) the gifts Hayden will receive this year will be less focused on entertainment.  My gift giving perspective is changing.

I don't want to give Hayden more gifts that will end up under his bed or gifts that he will quickly outgrow. I want to give gifts that will bring about smiles and excitement.  But the gifts I've got my heart set on giving this birthday won't have a price tag or an immediate wow factor.

I want the gifts his dad and I give him to be gifts that will be treasured; if not now, later, and for the long run.  I want to bless Hayden with gifts that will serve him into adulthood. We want to gift him in a way that will bless others and ultimately bring Glory to his father.

The gifts will be wrapped in prayer.  Over the next week, my posts will be devoted to praying for meaningful gifts to give the boy in my life who has brought me more joy than I can express.

Endure a mother's heart.

Happy Father's Day; sounds funny telling you.  You're not my father, you're my husband.  But in being your wife I have had the pleasure that no one else has had of watching you be a father day in and day out. Sure there are others that observe your fathering skills.  And the kids are around you as much as I am.

But I see you.

I've seen the way you wrestle with Hayden.  When he was younger and couldn't hurt you, I watched you grab your side in mock pain and listened to you groan like it was unbearable. Now that he lacks two inches being your size, I watch you inwardly groan as he forces his weight on you. You laugh it off, though I'm pretty sure it's not funny. The kids always know what I'm feeling; I've never been able to hide that well. You always seem to know when you need to be heard and when to be silent.

You've changed diapers. In addition to chick flicks, you have suffered ad nauseam every Disney movie made. You've played Pretty Pretty Princess, and you played it well- even when the earring didn't match what you had on. You've been the fun guy.  You've been the bad guy. You have stood firm, when I simply wanted to please. Oh how I've been thankful for that. You were the one that Hallie looked to; the one whose hand she grasped firmly while showing the world her decision to follow Christ through baptism. What a blessing-you've baptized Hayden too. You have been there to cheer accomplishments and to comfort through disappointments. 

I've witnessed you attend tea parties. You've brushed and fixed hair. You've taught the kids to compliment meals even when Griffin wouldn't eat the leftovers. By example you have always taught the children to hold me in high esteem even when I didn't deserve it. You've proudly smiled the "that's my girl" smile at Rylie countless times.  And though I know you want the same things for Rylie that I want, you are the one who is patient.  You are the one who trusts when I am determined to make things happen. You exemplify peace in the midst of chaos.

You're the kind of man, husband, and father I hope Hayden someday to be.

You're the kind of man and husband  I pray the girls will someday  find.

You're the kind of man, husband and friend I'm glad to have.