I wonder if anybody else saw the lady in the green tennis and oversized tshirt with no makeup and an unfluffed hair helmet walking down Helena Ave this morning carrying her kid's binder?

Yeah. That was me. 

I was only going to walk Rylie to the corner of 30th. She wanted to go the whole way by herself, but I wanted her to try a different sidewalk today; one that would allow her to avoid crossing traffic. When we got to the corner where I pointed the way for her to go, I could see she was struggling. Her backpack was stuffed with textbooks, a package of copy paper, her locker accessories and her lunch. She also held two boxes of tissues and her binder that she said she sat on yesterday to get zipped. 

So I insisted that she let me carry her binder to the end of the sidewalk. She accepted my pushy offer saying she didn't want to get the "back sweats" before she made it to school (Darn you southeast Texas humidity). I walked, hot pink binder across my body, with my head down because of, you know, no makeup, weird clothes and carrying my kid's stuff. I walked faster after I saw one of her old teachers and imagined her shaking her head at me mouthing the words "Don't coddle that kid". 

She's going to carry her binder. Probably tomorrow and for the rest of the year. The rest of her school career. I want her to. I want her to be strong and independent.

But there will be days when she has too much to carry and I'll make her load lighter. 

There will be times that she has that one heavy thing that I'll carry for her myself because the weight is more than she should bear. 
It might not be her binder that I carry.  I'm learning that kids today, too many times, carry unnecessary weight. Rylie knows that there is war and that there are the godless who  behead men and set children on fire in cages. There are monsters who kill their own children. The news is hardly ever non-frightening, even the news in our own backdoor,  like the armed robberies happening right here. I can't hide everything from her, but I can be more careful about what I let her see and what I let her hear. I can be cautious with my big mouth and harness my speech when I believe "the sky is falling". 

I've carried things for the older ones too.  Certain temptations can be too much for their shoulders. As parents we have the responsibility of holding the pen to draw out sometimes unpopular boundaries. Our children will have plenty of time to face temptation and danger on their own. It's still appropriate for us to say no, not just to them, but FOR them. 

No. A boy can't come in your bedroom. 

No. You can't have a passcode on your phone that I don't know. 

No. You can't accept friend requests from people you don't know. 

No. You can't drive to Beaumont by yourself yet. 

We can carry the larger weight of responsibility leaving them with a lighter load when it comes to making decisions. 

Corey ten Boom tells this story. 

“And so seated next to my father in the train compartment, I suddenly asked, "Father, what is sexsin?"

He turned to look at me, as he always did when answering a question, but to my surprise he said nothing. At last he stood up, lifted his traveling case off the floor and set it on the floor.

Will you carry it off the train, Corrie?" he said.

I stood up and tugged at it. It was crammed with the watches and spare parts he had purchased that morning.

It's too heavy," I said.

Yes," he said, "and it would be a pretty poor father who would ask his little girl to carry such a load. It's the same way, Corrie, with knowledge. Some knowledge is too heavy for children. When you are older and stronger, you can bear it. For now you must trust me to carry it for you.”

I realize the risk of being too sheltering. Knowing what things to carry and how long to carry them isn't found on a checklist anywhere. If it was, I wouldn't trust it anyway. Each kid is different; their struggles unique.  But all kids are in need of watchful parents who are willing to walk beside them and carry the heavy things. They need parents who rely on wisdom found in prayer that informs us what to hold and what to put down. 
And just remember. 

Even after handing over the stuff, we can always help our kids carry that which is heavy in prayer.