I don't have one iota of obsession or compulsion in me. I'm not a neat freak. I don't care how the eggs are lined up in the egg crate contrary to the Facebook quiz that gives egg line-up options. 

I have an affinity for Dr. Pepper but I wouldn't say I have an obsession. I can drink a Coke just as easy. Off-kilter pictures hanging on the wall or unstraightened rug fringe doesnt bother me either. I'm not even concerned that my ear holes aren't balanced. My right earring always hangs just a little lower than my left. 

I'm cool with that. 

But for some reason I'm compulsive about the bat boots I'm wearing.

It's "Drug Awareness" week. Today is Superhero day at Helena Park. Not wanting to buy a costume or even a new tshirt, I scavenged the girls' drawers for something to wear.

 Lucky for me, I found a crumpled-up batman shirt. I wish it fit better. Batman has no time for shirt tugging. 

To offset my ill-fitting shirt I borrowed the new bat "boot covers"  I bought our youngest for her Halloween costume.  They're a nice stretchy material and fit over my jeans. 

Still, they're not all that nice. They  don't cover my shoes like they're supposed to. They keep scootching up revealing my old non-batman sneakers underneath. 

I applied a large amount of doubled-up packing tape to my shoes in an attempt to hold the boot covers properly in place. It's not working and now I make a crinkling sound when I walk. 

I don't feel like Batman. 

I can't wait to take this stuff off. All the other teachers are wearing cute capes. Why didn't I wear a cape?

My bat boots aren't the only thing I feel uncomfortable in.

I'm uncomfortable with my inability to properly check off enough boxes on my to-do list. I'm not comfortable with my attitude when plans go awry. I still find myself battling vanity and the age-old sin of comparison. 

The closest thing I have to an obsession is my chronic focus on my inadequacy. 

I need a better covering. 

Too often (when I'm not Batman) I'm Eve. (You know, that other improperly covered character). Like Eve, I'm fully aware of my, so to speak, nakedness. And also like Eve, I either hide or try to fashion my own covering.  

Trying to be who I'm purposed to be in my own strength is about as ridiculous as trying to make clothes out of fig leaves. 

Why didn't she trust that she was  enough just as she was? Did she hear God say that what He'd made was very good?

Didn't she know she had everything she'd ever need at her disposal? Her life wasn't lacking in terms of what she needed. 

She really didn't need that forbidden fruit. (Yes I know. I would've accepted the serpent's offer too. In fact I have a problem of listening to his lies). 

Why did she hide? Didn't she know God knew? Why not just confess her mess-up to her maker? 

And when she realized she was still uncovered, hidden there amongst the brush , did she really think those crafty fig leaves would do the trick? 

I'm just as bad. 

I continually try to be who I think I should be in my own strength and in my own ingenuity disregarding the beauty that I'm made with a better and more easily-achieved purpose. 

I'm made to love my creator...and to be  loved by my creator. 

How about you? 

Can we just take the boots off?

Can we just take the gloves off and stop fighting the battle of inadequacy on our own? 

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit..

When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long...

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"-- and you forgave the guilt of my sin...

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance...

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you...

Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.

 Psalm 32

And God's people said...