This week, the middle school our youngest goes to has different days to dress up. One day was "Character Day". Tuesday was "Camo Day". I think most of the kids love this week of school, but this week stresses me out. 
Forget the fact that you have to buy a few things or that you have to dig up that old camo jacket (hoping it will fit), dress up days create drama in our house and at school too. 

Monday the batman knee boots, emblem necklace and arm cuffs our daughter donned weren't "batman enough" in the eyes of a couple. 

Today was "Twin Day". (A gray hair just sprouted as a I typed those words). Someone asked Rylie to be her twin. Unfortunately, things happen sometimes. The girl changed her mind and said she didn't want to be twins anymore (but then ended up being twins with someone else). 

I get it. I really do. I'm sure there was no ill-will, with all girls, there's just a desire to be twins with the girl you're closest to or your favorite friend.  It's no travesty. 

 Never fear, Rylie asked another girl to be her twin and brought the twin items to school today for the other girl. The other girl wasn't able to make it to school. Rylie was a blue-haired "Thing 1" without a "Thing 2". As expected, she was a little discouraged. 

So I gave her golden words of wisdom that will forever positively influence the way she sees herself and others. 

(Well...I wish I'd done that). 

I told her some psychological mumbo jumbo that 

1. Didn't make her feel any better
2. She probably didn't even listen to
3. That (if taken to heart ) would make her think of herself as better than others. 

Here's what I told her. 

It was fitting that you didn't have a twin today. You're unique. You're extraordinary. No one could ever be like you

Those were flowery words and I partly meant them. The problem is my words weren't well thought out. 

If I'd really thought about it first I would have told her something entirely different. 

What we should really tell our daughters

• Life can be hard. People will intentionally and unintentionally do things that crush us sometimes. No one is exempt from difficulty. 
• You, yourself  (at the least unintentionally) will make someone's day difficult somewhere down the line. Be forgiving now, just as you'll want to be forgiven.
• I hate that you're hurt, but I understand that your hurt.  
• Know that people will make you feel a certain way, but don't let them influence the way you behave and certainly don't let them impact the way you feel about yourself. 
• You are uniquely special, just like everybody else. 
• This too shall pass.