Welp. I've been triggered. 
An old student of mine posted a wedding proposal on Facebook that halted my morning routine. 

How was I triggered, you ask? 

The proposal, which was featured on "howheasked.com", was indeed sweet and perfect. A handsome young gentleman named Jacob executed a plan to "pop the question" to his girlfriend, Gracie Hope in a forest. He walked her to a carefully constructed clothesline that held pictures of them throughout their relationship. He had a beautiful engagement ring.

 To top it off he walked her to a picture of her grandfather who had just passed away. He talked about the love and devotion evident in her grandparents marriage, then presented her with a document bearing a reservation for them to be wed on her late grandpa's anniversary. 

Gracie Hope was tan and thin and beautiful. He was the kind of mushy, most girls hope for in a proposal. He even had a romantic speech written up that both made me my roll my eyes and wipe the tears that were coming out of my nose in the form of emotional snot. 
His speech included a bunch of sweet stuff about commitment; how we was going to always hold her and make her feel safe. They were great promises. Then he said something that made me decide I just couldn't keep quiet. 

  "I will pursue you everyday."

That's when I think I was triggered. I wasn't angry or jealous (well maybe a little). I was more concerned. Does this guy know what he's promising?
 I thought about warning him to add a few protective clauses to his "For the Rest of Our Life" speech. Instead I've decided to say a few things to his beautiful fiancé as well as others who are engaged or married. 

Dear Gracie Hope,

What an incredible proposal. I know you're proud, grateful, and excited! 

Your guy gets you. He gets women. We do all want to be pursued on a daily basis. I've been married for twenty-one years and I still like to be sought after. My husband, like the next, does his best to chase after my needs and desires. He makes an effort to put me first (after his relationship with God). In spite of all that, I'm slowly coming to learn that my need to be pursued daily is a lofty request. My husband to whom I so often look to fill that requirement, needs not only some direction, but a whole lot of grace. 

I'm slowly coming to recognize those things which can interfere with a husband's ability to successfully pursue us each day. Interferences include 

• Kids-with moods, troubles, health issues and their own need to be chased after
• Schedules- We have to be mindful of the life demands he can't escape; those obligations which refuse to have mercy on his "to-do list"
• Troubles- in the form of financial stress, work-related problems, health and other stressors
• His sometimes being so bone-tired that the only thing he can sensibly pursue is his pillow
• When we're scary moody - This could be because of an argument the two of you have had or a time when your hormones or pre-menopausal tendencies are showing (in which case you might allow him to hide, if only for a bit). 

Note that there will be times when he will also pursue you in a way not according to your idea of what pursual looks like. He may send you flowers when you'd rather have a long talk. He may give in to you when you were really wanting to fight. He may compliment you when you were honestly just looking for pity. 

Don't be afraid to tell him when you need him and exactly how you need him without being demanding. Be understanding when his emotional and physical bank account is running low and he needs time and encouragement of his own. 

Marriage is give and take. Marriage is extending grace when we get it wrong and taking joy in those times we get it right. 

Don't forget that God is the only true being that has the fortitude, capacity and unselfish love needed to pursue hearts like ours. Pursue God in your marriage and he will help you to more properly pursue one another. 

From what is shown in your video, it appears that the two of you will be happy together.  If names mean anything at all, and I know they do, with a name like Gracie Hope, this has got to be good!

Blessings on your upcoming marriage,

Kristi