I can’t remember ever having “the talk” with my mom. We didn’t talk much about private matters in my house growing up. That’s mostly how things worked (or maybe it didn’t work) in my generation.
I learned what a jock strap was my fifth-grade year, though not from very good teachers. (My friends, through lunch table conversation, told me our teacher Mrs. Jones was wearing one.) I learned about the stuff you’re supposed to do when you get married (and not before then) from movies like Dirty Dancing as I hit junior high (or when I watched movies and listened to music at friends’ houses who had less strict parents than mine).
When it comes to your body, I 'm suggesting you keep it holy. Who am I talking to here?
You, the one who hasn’t even had your first kiss yet (Save that thing for someone special.)
You, Ms. Will of Steel who said long ago you were going to wait and you’re determined you’ll keep on waiting until you become Mrs. Whoever. (Stick to that commitment!)
You, the girl who is thinking about giving in, but so far hasn’t (Stay strong even if you’re in the minority amongst your peers).
You, who’ve been taken advantage of. Someone took your choice; they stole something you didn’t give away (You’re not responsible or found guilty for what someone else has done to you.)
And you, the one who made a choice one time (or maybe even many times) to share something sacred, your body (You aren’t ruined. Your opportunity to keep your body holy is not removed. God is in the business of redeeming what is His.)
God wants the same from each of us. He wants us to honor God with our bodies:
Because following his design brings him glory
Because he knows the turmoil that can come when we make dishonorable choices and he wants to spare us that pain
What has happened to you in the past and any choice you have already made doesn’t put an end to your chance to choose today. Wherever you are in your journey, God is calling you to
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Honoring God by being obedient to him isn’t always easy. Honoring God is impossible without a personal relationship with him. Ask God’s help before you’re tempted and when you’re feeling tempted. If you have suffered abuse at the hands of someone you trusted, or even a complete stranger, allow God to heal you. He will.
Talk to him when you need his help to start choosing better after a time of going against his design. Always remember, nothing surprises him. Nothing is too disappointing or too messy for him to handle. Just try him. He’s waiting.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39 (ESV)
Sexual immorality is the sharing of your body outside of marriage (in many forms including sending nude pictures). God designed the body to be shared in marriage only.
Honoring God with your body requires good boundaries. Which of the following boundaries do you practice?
Relationship Boundaries Checklist
___I go by a rule to not be alone with the person I’m dating.
___I don’t go into my girlfriend/boyfriend’s room.
___The person I’m dating knows that I’m a believer and respects my beliefs.
___The person I’m dating is a believer.
___The person I’m dating knows that I am committed to sharing my body only in marriage and he respects that commitment.
___I communicate with my parents about who I’m dating.
___I communicate with my parents as to where we are at all times.
I talk to God about my relationship:
___when it’s new
___when I’m feeling tempted
___I treat the person I’m dating, the way I would want someone else to treat my sibling. (I treat my boyfriend the way I would want my brother to be treated by a girl.)
___I’m cautious not to fill my heart with movies and music that advertise sex (or treat sex casually.)
___I don’t engage with those who make crude sexual remarks, or ask for inappropriate pictures
___I’m fully dressed when interacting with my boyfriend/girlfriend, even on the phone.
___ I don’t seek dating advice from those who would encourage me to cross boundaries.
___I have someone who I have asked to be my accountability partner when I am dating. They know they are free to ask me if I’m keeping good boundaries. I can tell them when I am feeling tempted and ask them to pray for me.
Write down the names of (and contact) two people who you can count on to pray for you, be in your business, and help keep you on track as you seek to honor God with your body.