Have you ever heard someone pray and wished that your prayers sounded like theirs?  I have.  I have a friend from our first church who prays beautifully. Her prayers sound like she reads them from a book.  Talking to God sounds like she's talking to a friend, but at the same time her words roll eloquently.  There are no awkward pauses; no fumbling over her words.  (She can sing and play the piano too.  No fair.)

When I pray out loud, often I can feel my brow furrowing in stress.  Even my best praying is distracted.  It can be difficult to get the sentiment of my heart to come out.  When I'm ill-natured, I wonder if my sentiment shouldn't just stay in.  There are labor pains at the expelling of my words.  There is often deafening silence.  I often say amen with my joy or pain still deep within my chest.

I wish my prayers were pretty.  God deserves pretty prayers with beautiful words confidently spoken.  But I know that if I only prayed pretty, I'd pray little.  There are so many times I don't know what to say. Sometimes I feel too angry to pray. Then there are those dark moments when I'm near disbelief that God will answer. 

I just read part of 1 Samuel chapter I.  It was just what I needed today.  I was reminded to pray; even when my uttering is unintelligible or down-right ugly.  God can handle it.

I read about Hannah.  You remember Hannah don't you; one of the female heroes of the Bible that people name their daughters after?  She was barren and she was being provoked by the "other woman" who had a slew of children.  She was also fed-up.  I feel a little nervous using those words, but I think she was.  It says:

In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. -1 Samuel 1:10

" In bitterness of soul"?  - that doesn't sound like a very nice way to pray.  Not only was she fed-up, but I'm gathering that she didn't sound too eloquent due to the fact that the priest thought she was drunk.

Bet you know the end of the story.  She has a child and dedicates him to the LORD just as she vowed she would do.  She names him Samuel.  In case you didn't know, Samuel means God hears.  He hears you when your fed up and when your soul is barren.  Even when your prayer doesn't make sense or when dark emotion comes with your words.

He hears.

He knows.

 ......the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  Romans 8:26b

He understands.