I wasn't planning on writing this morning; it's a busy day. Still, there are heavy questions that I'm posing to readers today.
A question came to me while I was speeding to the school this morning in my Christmas tree pajama bottoms and pancake batter splotched t-shirt. I was bringing basketball shorts to a certain someone who apparently forgot them and needed them in a hurry.
I passed three cops while I drove 24mph, dangerously above the school zone speed limit. As I risked being ticketed in my night clothes, I thought about the varied outcomes of rescue. I wondered to myself, how far will we go to rescue our kids. Many of you may have a straightforward answer. I've shared that I'm an over thinker. This is another area where I find myself struggling in my indecision.
I think we all would agree that we would go to great lengths to rescue our children in any situation where we know they need rescuing. If they're in danger of being harmed........, we rescue- no question about that.
How far SHOULD we go to rescue our kids?
What about those times when our children have been negligent and irresponsible? At what point do we let them learn from their mistakes?
And even other times when it is no fault of their own that our children face consequences, are there times when we allow our children the opportunity to grow through adversity? If someone like a teacher or another child treats ours unfairly is it always the right thing to arrive on the scene in our super-mom cape (or festive pajamas)?
Grace can be shown in rescue. It can also be shown in loving support in the aftermath of mistakes. I know if it were me making the mistake?........I'd choose the rescue.
Today I just have questions, no answers. As my children are aging, I'm coming to terms with the fact that the grip I have on my children is weakening. I can't and shouldn't always save them, but when should I? I'm coming to the realization that my grip on God is one in need of growing stronger. In increasing times that "I don't know" when to step in or allow them space, my prayer life is busier than ever.
Experience and wisdom are meant to be shared. I would be over the moon happy to hear of examples from you
-
where you rescued, or did not
- and what the outcome was.
kristiburden@gamil.com
Christy Zenon
I love this post. It reminds me of all of the times I've "needed" rescuing. My parents have rescued me time and time again and now that I am a grown woman (blech), the rescues are coming less and less. For a good reason. It's time for me to stand on my own. Yes, my parents are still there to catch me when I fall, but they are more inclined to let me figure it out and stand on my own these days.
I can't say that about my kids, though. I'm a bit of an over-mother(er). When my kids are hurt, I hurt. When they need rescuing, I need to be there. I'm terrified of letting them out in this big world to figure things out on their own. I'm so scared they are going to walk the roads that I did.
Kristi Burden
Parenting is tough stuff. Mine are getting older so the question is looming larger. I want him to be prepared and yet I want to do all for him that I should. Yes. I couldn't count the times I've needed rescuing. Not sure the number has gone down in my adulthood. Thankful for a gracious God. Thanks Christy!
jen
So with you on this!! (As usual.) I had to decide just yesterday if I was going to bring Emma her PE shoes she had left in the car when her daddy dropped her off, or if I was going to let her "learn a lesson". I didn't do it. And the lesson she learned was how to make it work, and she snagged some shoes from lost and found for the one class. Which first I thought, "YUCK!" but I am glad she figured out a way to "survive". Of course we know it is best to cover our kids in prayer, but we need not forget about ourselves. I pray for decernment more than ever now! When I let the kids figure things out on their own, they learn (like how to not become "shoeless joe jackson" in PE)....I realize that. But there are times when they need to be rescued, which honestly feels good for me as much as them. I brought Brady's silly little fundraiser up so he could get THE prize for returning it on time. A small "rescue", it may have been BUT the smile on his face after school as he proudly wore his disco ball necklace was PRICELESS! I don't think it's wise to constantly take up the slack for our kiddos, because then they would never learn. That's why I PRAY PRAY PRAY for dicernment. Which is pretty much all you can do. Cover not smother? Maybe that's my new motto! haha!
Kristi Burden
It's ridiculous. I stood in my bedroom frozen in indecision. You perfectly expressed my sentiment in one word. Discernment. It's what we need in each and every "situation" And prayer is the only way to get it. I so appreciate your thoughts.
jen
I probably should have used discernment and edited that "thought" down! ha! But you know how that goes! 😉
kristi
Nope. You speak my language. Like I said, I really appreciate your thoughts!!