I hit a familiar roadblock this morning fixing Rylie's lunch; a stubborn drawer.  I gently tapped the fridge's produce bin with my foot expecting it to close. It usually does. But every now and then my foot meets resistance; this morning was one of those times. I did what I expect most people do when meeting such resistance. I used a little more force; I pushed harder. But the drawer stayed locked in wrong position dangling out from the tracks.

Sometimes using more force works. The drawer slides back into position. But it was clear to me this morning that no amount of foot shoving was going to get that drawer back in place. Unless of course I shoved so hard that the drawer goes back, but with shards of plastic breaking,  the drawer's edges snapped into pieces.

I've broken objects before with my brute force. This morning I considered using such force, but then I thought better. I paused and took a deep breath. I got down on my knees and investigated the root of the "drawer not closing" problem. I simply had to reposition a package of grilled chicken fajitas so that they weren't busting outside the allowed drawer borders. And the drawer closed. Thankfully, sometimes it's simple like that.

Being that parenting is one of my most important and toughest jobs, I find that most everything that happens both good and difficult turns my thoughts to my children. That stubborn drawer is no exception. Neither was my initial response to the dogged drawer.

Out of Line Kids and Refrigerator Drawers

There are times in the precious privilege of parenting that we are met with kids whose will reflects a heart malpositioned. (Not that my own heart doesn't get off track.)  And so very often we match their wills with a persistent ill-will of our own. In my experience, the battle of wills often ends up in double loss.

If we want our kids to simply obey, then the strong-arm is the necessary approach. And many times the strong-arm is needed. But there are times when what we want with our kids is not only a change in cooperation, but a change in heart. And it's those times that we need to stand before that out-of-place drawer and pause. The approach to getting an open drawer back on its track is much like our attempt to get an out of line heart back in its right place.

1. A gentle nudge never hurt a drawer and it doesn't hurt our kids either. But excessive force often ends up in broken pieces that are hard or impossible to put back together. The drawer is still usable missing some pieces (I know from experience), but a drawer is better whole.  Avoid preventable damage. Know when using force just isn't working. Know when to stop using brute force.
2. Choose your battles.  I know my dad didn't come up with this advice, but it's one of the things I hear from him over and over when I've went to him for counsel. Some drawers you can walk away from until you have your wits about you.  Refrigerator doors can't be walked away from for too long, because letting the cool out costs.  Know which stubborn drawers (and conflicts) to walk away from.  And know which problems must be addressed. Knowing the difference is a matter of constant prayer.
3.  Upon examination I've sometimes found that the drawer has too much stuff in it. It won't close right simply because stuff that doesn't need to be in there is overcrowding the drawer space. Rylie eats individualized cartons of cubed chicken for her lunch. These little cartons come in a big package that takes up more room than necessary. I need to remove the excessive packaging to make more room.
4. I know without a doubt that there are things that need to be removed or reduced from the schedule that takes up the day's space. Too much TV is one thing that comes to mind. TV uses space that could better be used relating to each other. If I looked, besides excessive packaging in the drawer, I'd probably find spoiled cheese and other items that just don't need to be in there. Some of the music I myself listen to and some of the music and television programs I catch my kids watching are not conducive to right living. I'm sure of it. It might be worth taking an inventory of what's filling our kid's time space. It might be worth removing excess and things of an adverse nature.
5.  When my refrigerator drawer won't go back in place like it's supposed to, there's one thing that is more effective than a gentle nudge, brute force or a clean-up on aisle nine. From a standing position, it's almost impossible to know what the problem is.  Standing upright is not the place to fix it. So I get on my knees. And that's where that refrigerator door slides back where it was meant to be. Sometimes it slides back easily and sometimes there's a work ensued.  Often times it's a slow process getting the drawer to where it needs to be (I'm thinking of times when I've had to clean the whole drawer out.). I prefer the quick fix, but the good fix is often one we wait for.  With stubborn drawers and kids who often slip from the place they need to be, more than anything else we do,

 We need to be on our knees.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Parenting is an important and beloved charged, but it's tough.  Any other thoughts on this?