It's been a lazy Saturday. I've read too much on social media. To escape my more tender frustrations, I thought I'd attack a few inanimate objects just to blow off a little steam. 

Thought I'd jump on a "ban" wagon.

Here are a few words and products I think should be retired in 2015:

The word offensive- I used it tonight and then I decided to ban it. I was offended at someone's so easily being offended. The word has been watered down so much that it's lost its meaning. The Indian as a school mascot is offensive. Manspreading is offensive. People are now offended by the cross. The Christmas Tree, and to be fair, a coffee cup without one, is offensive. Can we all stop being so offended? 

Pop up ads- Can we please just get rid of them?  I doubt there's two in five million people who click on the secret to smoother skin or an offer for a Popular Mechanics subscription when they're trying to read an article about a veteran homecoming surprise. Stop pop-up ads. 

ROTFL- For those of you who don't know, this means "rolling on the floor laughing". The first few times I saw this acronym I had to think the five words through slowly. It diminished the funniness. Here's the other thing.  I've never seen ANYBODY do this. And if they did, I would probably think their taking such extreme measures would be to annoy somebody. It sounds like something a brother would do to make of fun of his sibling. Maybe we should make a new acronym ROTFPAL "Rolling on the floor pointing and laughing"...

Capri suns and other pouch drinks- Approximately half of them are missing the straw. One fourth of them don't stand up. The other fourth squirt juice in the air when you stick the straw in. And fruit punch is the only flavor that tastes any good. 

Cranberry sauce in a can- I'm against food that keeps the same shape as its container. Jello is unacceptable too (unless it has whipped cream). Canned pumpkin is questionable, but at least it typically gets mixed up with other ingredients where it looks like you're eating something other than an edible can. 

On fleek- the phrase "on fleek" needs to go. It means that something is perfect/on point and is often used when referring to drawn on eyebrows. An eyebrow's only purpose is to shield the eye from sweat or to let children or your husband know they're walking on thin ice. Real eyebrows are bushy, or thin and sparse.  "On fleek" is overused and eyebrows on fleek are not reality. 

  
Pantyhose -no explanation needed

Making beds- I ban making beds. It's for your own good. I recently read a study where untidy beds are healthier. Apparently dust mites need moisture to survive. Made beds keep moisture in the sheets. With unmade beds, dryer conditions make it harder for dust mites to survive. There you have it. No more making beds.

Name tags- "Hey. I'm Kristi"...When I meet someone, that's my go-to line. You make me wear a name tag and I'm at a loss. What else is a great first line talking to someone you don't know? "Hi...You have great hair..." That's just abrupt. 

Scarves in Southeast Texas- Some of my best friends here wear scarfs...and they're really cute. But other than being fashionable, scarves are really as pointless as on fleek eyebrows. Scarves have lasted long enough. Because of those friends I now have a basket full of scarves that I don't wear. I have neck claustrophobia. And it's only cold twelve days a year here. They need to go. 

What word or product would you ban?  Really... do share. The world could use a little more light-heartedness.