I teach my kids about stranger danger. In fact, when Hallie was in kindergarten, I had to attend a parent-teacher meeting because Hallie tried out a self-defense move on a boy in her class; one that her brother had learned to use against strangers (or anyone) who would bother him. 

 My mom scared the living daylights out of me by letting me watch Adam:Missing (the story about Adam Walsh, a boy who was abducted and then brutally murdered while his mom shopped for a lamp at Sears (I believe). I was close to his age and can remember my mom allowing me, on occasion, to sit up front in a little booth (much like it sounds where he was) where you could pay a quarter to watch a little cartoon. 

I've read Jaycee Dugard's book about her life with a monster. I watched Elizabeth Smart's story slowly unfold on television. I know children who have been molested by people the family trusted.  Sex trafficking stories are too close to home. 
I know the dangers. And probably more than most I know fear. My mom taught me to walk to my car  with my keys between my knuckles so that I have something somewhat sharp in the event that a predator approaches me in a parking lot. I own mace. I don't park beside vans without windows etc. etc....

I've explained everyone of these safety tactics to my kids and I watch them like a hawk. 

They know the dangers of walking alone. They know to be aware of their surroundings and not to trust people's they don't know, both on social media and in public.  They know to practice caution even with people they do know. 

We've been given reason upon reason to fear for our children's safety and to teach them to be extra cautious. 

I get it. I'm a walking poster child of caution. I hope my kids are too. 

I'm currently waiting for an oil change at an Express Lube so I'm pondering the question. Is it possible that we go too far in our fear? 

A month or so ago a woman wrote about an elderly woman who patted her toddler's hand; her child who was securely buckled in the shopping basket while she grabbed something off a nearby shelf. The mother was disturbed that a woman would touch her child when "no one has the right to "touch her child". I've read startled Facebook statuses that are similar. 

I've been thinking. These days I meet the qualifications for  "Child Creeper" status. I smile at children I don't know. I wave at them and say crazy things like "That ice cream looks good.". 

Yesterday while Jason and I were walking we happened upon a little girl who couldn't have been more than five or six. It appeared she was out riding her bike with her brothers when she had trouble making a corner. In her bathing suit, she skidded across a patch of gravel skinning up her left thigh. 

Instinct kicked in and I raced forward to help her up. The sight of me had her jumping to her feet, injured,  walking her bicycle away from me as quickly as her bare, dirty feet would let her. I'd be ok if my girls did the same.  

It just got me to thinking of times when I've made small talk with kids who are with their parents in the check-out line at Target or Walmart. Sometimes the kids look down, terrified. Other times they just ignore me as if bored by the mere sound of my voice (My kids have responded to adults this way before, but should I let them?)

I recently read an article tip written by a professional counselor instructing parents to NEVER ask their child to hug anyone, even a family member. Is it possible we can go too far in our fear?

Better safe than sorry, I know. I resemble that statement. Is there a chance we can be cautious AND remember the art of courtesy, the value of a returned smile or some other simple response? Can we trade some of our widespread fear for practical teaching and plenty of parental supervision? 

• I'm all for instructing (even threatening) kids not to have a conversation with someone they don't know. 
• I'm for the safety password that ensures a kid won't EVER go somewhere with someone they don't know...for taking self-defense classes 
• I'm all for being choosy when it comes to who we entrust our kids to spend time with. Don't believe in sleepovers? Fine. 

But could we teach our kids to make eye contact with people who address them when we're with our kids? Could we teach them to say thank you when a lonely old woman (or creepy middle-aged woman like myself) in line pays them a compliment at the store? Can we spend more time in prayer asking  God to help us set up appropriate boundaries when it comes to keeping our kids and ourselves safe? 

These are tough matters. I come with more questions than answers. I come with some things to think about.