Tag Archives: kristi burden

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I couldn't sleep last night so I did what I tell my children to do when they can't sleep.  I tell them to talk to God.  So that's what I did.  This is what I said.

Slept in until 7:30 this morning.

Had nowhere to rush to.

Thankful for the little things.

It was Jason's day off today.

We ate at Willy Burger and went to the movies.

Thankful for the little things.

The kids gathered around me in the kitchen.

We made chocolate-covered banana pops.

Thankful for the little things.

Rylie lost-  and I do mean "lost" her tooth.

This resulted in a fun letter to the toothfairy.

Thankful for the little things.

We had fried bologna sandwiches and baked kale for supper.

A quite mismatched meal, but no one complained.

Thankful for the little things.

I talked with two of my old students through facebook

-One I taught in first and second grade, the other I taught in Sunday School.

Thankful for the little things.

I am sitting in the hallway writing late this night as to not disturb.

My family is safe and healthy  around me.

Thankful for the little things.

There really are no little things when it comes to you God

Only

small vision,

small recognition, and

small understanding

Rather than seeing bits and pieces of who you are and what you do,

Grant me single focus, opening my eyes to your splendor. 

Thankful.

 

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We are about to depart on a journey of a thousand miles. It is literally 1,062 miles from our driveway to our destination in Colorado. I'm bracing myself for this trip. Being in the car with the family for as many hours as it takes to make this trek can turn into a toxic situation. The kids get bored and whiney, I get tired and cranky, and Kristi gets caught in the crossfire. Over the years we have learned a few relationship preserving techniques for arriving at our destination with our sanity intact.

Reading a Book Together

Vacation travel has much improved with iPods and installed DVD players. Many miles are spent in peace and semi-silence while the kids are engrossed in a movie they have already seen or by listening to music.  Sometimes this is a welcome break if there has been bickering.  But we have found that a reading a book aloud captures our children's attention just as well.  I usually read to the family while Jason is driving, and everybody else listens.  The kids take a couple of turns reading, too.  I feel they learn and are even stretched as they get involved in a plot they might not have chosen had they only been reading for their own pleasure. I have been shocked at how well they listen; from Hayden who is fifteen to Rylie who is six.  The teacher in me also stops ever so often to check for understanding, to make predictions or just to discuss what we think about what just happened in the story.

Some of our reads have included The Bridge to Terabithia, The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and The Great Gilly Hopkins. 

Travel Dehydration

I'm goal oriented when it comes to traveling. For some odd reason I find great satisfaction in getting to the end of a trip as quickly as possible. This is more true for the return trip than it is for our departure.  A few years ago I started a practice while on the road that has served to feed my sick desire to arrive ahead of schedule. I call it travel dehydration. Stopping to use the bathroom adds unwanted hours to an already long trip. I've found that when the sodas and juices and water are limited, the only time we have to stop is for gas and food.  The fewer times we have to stop, the faster we get to our goal.

Good Snacks

Jason is the only fan of travel dehydration. The trip coming home is shorter in hours, but the dehydration suffered causes irritability, then finally resignation resulting in sleep. Thankfully he doesn't enforce this cruel practice while traveling to our Colorado destination.  I'm also thankful that he gladly drives both ways. I like to have an ice-chest full of drinks and little snacks.  Whoever gets the back seat to themself, also has the duty of serving as snack attendant. I for one tend to get cranky on an empty stomach.  The snacks nourish and help the time to pass too.   I keep a small trash bag so that we can clean as we go.  Sometimes that works. 

Breaking Up the Trip

One thing that Kristi and I look forward to on these long trips is the great food we will find along the way.  Since we have made this trip to Colorado together over 17 times, we have become familiar with the best eating spots.  But even when we are going places we have never been before, I find it worthwhile to research and plan out our culinary experiences ahead of time. Anticipating great food helps us to break our trip into manageable sized pieces.

Knowing that a 24 oz. ribeye awaits me at the Big Texan in Amarillo helps me stay focused on my westward destination. I'm already anticipating a cup of perfectly made espresso in Rotan, NM at Enchanted Grounds. We have even timed our arrival in Colorado to coincide with the all you can eat stark night at our resort. These stops along the way make the entire vacation seem a little more spectacular.

 

What travel techniques help you survive in the car on vacation?

What are your best memories of being on the road?

How do you pass the time with the kids?

 

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We took a day trip to Stuart Beach in Galveston on Friday.  It was a glorious day.  We had some old friends come along with us.  We had the ice-chest packed with snacks, a couple of umbrellas and lounge chairs, and seven smiling kids.

The water has always brought out my cautious side.  I could simply stick my toes in the water and be a satisfied beach girl.  The kids though, can hardly wait to get in the water-and that scares me! These are some of the precautions I took.

Armed with two cans of sunscreen I generously sprayed the children down.

Knowing that the current carries the kids down shore, I pointed out some red-painted posts, and further down, two rescue boards to serve as boundaries. I told them to start at the posts and to get out and come back if the current took them as far as the rescue boards.

"Pay attention to where you are", I told them, "and stay together".

As irony would have it, in no time the rescue boards were removed along with the boundary I had given. So I supplied a substitute boundary; a colorful umbrella.

No matter, because my children, like most children, inched farther from the shore as the day wore on, visible boundaries or not.  I ended up in the water to help Rylie "the best surfer eva"(as she says).  I tip-toed through deepening waters to help her catch a good wave.  As the current strengthened we turned around to head back, but only in time to be assaulted by a wave.  As I tried to help Rylie, she thrashed, making it harder for both of us to keep our heads above water.

As a parent, I avoid unsafe situations. It's just easier that way.  If it were'nt for Jason I might not ever take my kids to the beach.  I feel certain the kids will tell stories to their spouses and kids about things I wouldn't let them do out of fear. Out of all the things I didn't let Hayden do, He broke his arm twice, once needing surgery.  The first break was during prayer meeting.  He was hanging from a low limb with his feet twenty-four inches from the ground.  The second break occured as he and I were swinging right beside each other (right before prayer meeting). No, avoidance and even prayer doesn't guarantee safety.

Boundaries are also established  for safety. - "Don't go past the ...... -Be back by.......-DO NOT....." But boundaries don't guarantee safety either. Boundaries can easily be ignored or removed.  Even if your children give heed to those boundaries, there is an ever-rolling current that carries them away from the safe arms of the shore.

Don't we all feel safer just being next to our children? As I held on to the black twine rope on Rylie's surfboard I felt more confident.  In arm's length, that's where I best like to have my children.  But it took one wave to render me powerless.  What an awful feeling.

We can't safeguard our children or ourselves. In all honesty, we have less control than we'd like in a great number of matters.  Our children's choices. The way other people drive.  Outside influences. Sickness. Disease. Death. I felt small and helpless; tossed in the depths of those waters with Rylie.  I feel powerless when I'm in the car with Hayden driving along a road with deep ditches on both sides.  I am seemingly useless when Hallie faces a problem that I don't have the answer to.

Let's not forget the unseen hand that holds both the waves and us. "Even the wind and the waves obey him"-Matthew 8:27 

There's no promise that we won't be blasted by the wind or tossed by the waves.

 We are not safe.

But take heart.....,

We are rescued.

 

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

 Wandering from the fold of God;

 He, to rescue me from danger,

 Interposed His precious blood;

 How His kindness yet pursues me

 Mortal tongue can never tell,

 Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me

 I cannot proclaim it well.

 

O to grace how great a debtor

 Daily I’m constrained to be!

 Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

 Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

 Prone to leave the God I love;

 Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

 Seal it for Thy courts above.

-Hymn -Come Thou Fount

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One of my best friends is coming with her family to visit tomorrow.  I can hardly wait.  I sent her a message Monday night reminding her to bring her walking shoes.  We used to walk most every day.  We walked over four miles the day before Rylie was born-on August 31-IN THE HEAT!

I'm really surprised that I developed such a love for walking.  My friend, Tammy and I walked despite some  discouraging events.  We had to change our route numerous times. We would cross paths with stray dogs which would become our entourage making for a host of barking as we passed dog-occupied houses. I was bit pretty badly by a dog at one point. Not all shady characters were dogs either.  One time when I wasn't able to walk with Tammy, a lady brought out her shotgun saying that her chickens were dying as a result of our dog posse.  Another time she stood at the side of the road with a bullwhip.  There was also the time that Tammy fell.  I've probably blocked other crazy moments out of my mind.

Why did I love walking so? I've gotten out of the habit of walking now, but I clearly remember.  There was something therapeutic about walking.  It was good for our health, but maybe even better for our souls.  We would talk about our kids and give movie reviews.  We talked about spiritual matters too.  Our walking time, dogs and crazy people aside, made for uninterrupted minutes.  And because we walked most every day, we were able to get into some deep conversations; soul matters.

I miss those walks.  I have walked now and then with Jason or alone.  But my walk is so infrequent, that deep conversation isn't easily reached (I'm probably panting too heavily).

There are times my walk with God is infrequent.

I am so busy after all.  Every minute is met by distraction.  He is with me, but without my recognition of his presence it's as if he's not. I know there are soul matters he wants us to talk  about if only I'd be present.

There are times my walk with God is brief.

How can my relationship with God go deeper by giving him so little of my time?  A short prayer every morning or at night is notable, but I want to walk with him on a never-ending journey. Most days Tammy and I took our long walks we ended up calling each other and talking more. Or we would even go get groceries together; thus still walking together.

I feel sure that if I had been walking alone, dog bitten or with the sun beating down on me in the heat of August, my walking would have been arduous -if I continued to walk at all.  But there's something about having someone there to keep you going; someone who with you "can laugh at the chaos to come".

I'm looking forward to walking with Tammy this week. But in thinking about the joys of walking with a friend, through both cool breeze and terror, I have decided to reconsider my most important walk.

Yes Lord, walking in in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of our hearts.  My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.  -Isaiah 26:8,9

I'm going to shape-up. Through longer walks in study, prayer and meditation I'm going to develop a greater love for the journey.  Together, God and I will have our walk; one that is ever-increasing in duration and depth.

Now where are my walking shoes?

 

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Hayden and Hallie are getting along.  It's horrible.  Usually they antagonize each other then go back to their separate lives, watching TV or talking to friends.  When they're not getting along and need intervention I come on the scene , in control, and appropriately put them in their place.

Jason bought tools this weekend so that Hayden could do much-needed yard work.  Hayden is weeding the flower beds and getting rid of old mulch.  He talked to Hallie about being his assistant.  She gladly agreed.  They started working together yesterday.

This morning as they came in for a quick water break I made a contentious comment to Hayden.  I wasn't surprised when Hayden disagreed, but the look I got from Hallie......  She looked at me in disapproval, silently saying "Don't look at me, I'm with him".  This is the first time this has ever happened.  I am still in disbelief.  When Hayden left the room, Hallie plead his cause. They're ganging up on me.

In the midst of this turmoil, my sister texted me and asked how things were going.  I told her how terrible my morning had been and that I thought might rather have Hayden and Hallie fighting.  When they stand in unison I don't hold the same sway as when it's me and one of them. Today I felt defeated and without influence.

I wonder what influence we as Christians have in the world when we're divided. I have observed certain groups lately in our nation who have rallied together under common purpose.  Even when the purpose is wrong, they have influence. Those around them stop and take notice.  As Christians we hold a common purpose for good.  We have a mission to share the love of Jesus even to those who hold nothing but contempt for us. They might rather us fight.  We are misguided to think they will listen when they don't  see us loving each other. It just might make a difference if we come together; in work and in love. Today I encountered something new and quite astounding-

I found what can be accomplished when brother and sister work together.

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It just so happens that I had seventeen beautiful sunflowers waiting for me when I got home this morning. 


 It wasn't the first time my guy has given me sunflowers and I hope it won't be the last.  We are celebrating our seventeenth anniversary, but he's been giving them to me for longer. I once got sunflowers from him while he was away in Africa. I remember summers in High School and when we were first married.  He would pull off the highway, jump out of the truck and grab a handful of giant sunflowers from the side of the highway (or someone's pasture). 


They always brightened my day, even if the ants had decided to come along too.


 


I have always found it delightful that sunflowers, as well as other flower types follow the sun.  This is called heliotropism in case anybody wants to know.  Some heliotropic flowers are known to be fourteen degrees warmer than the air around them.  This warmth of course attracts insects which generate no heat on their own. -Never thought about it before, but I read that if you see a bee in the morning it will appear to be slothful as it has a dependence on heat from another source. Naturally bees and other insects find their way to an inviting stay in the warmth of the sunflower.


My point?   What smart flowers.  They spend their days bowing then reaching to the heavens taking in the sun.  Their warmth is attractive to those with none. The sun is so central to who they are, they even look and move like the sun.




Bring me the plant that points to those bright Lucidites swirling up from the earth.  And life itself exhaling that central breath!


Bring me the sunflower crazed with the love of light!


-Eugenio Montale


Crazed with the love of light.....If I could be any flower I think I'd want to be a sunflower.


 

					

		
		
	


	

				

						

				
				
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I started out trying to locate all of our pictures from the past seventeen years. That's how long we've been married as of tomorrow. Wow.  So many pictures to go through.  Our first pictures together predate the digital days. After going through our computer and saving many pictures from the past seven or so years, the computer misbehaved and those pictures scattered back into the electronic black hole. So instead I picked up my phone and found pictures just from the past twelve months.


Just want the world to know-


It's been a good year.


There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.


Many of those times were shared together this year-


A time to plant


 In June we said goodbye to friends in Trinity and were welcomed to Nederland.


A time to love




This is a picture of a great weekend at Marti's wedding and Great Wolf Lodge with the kids.


A time to embrace


I cherish the time we are able to spend together on my birthday.  This December we watched a play in Ft Worth.


A time to search


There were extra busy months.  Here we were able to steal away on Parent's Night Out if just for an hour or two.


A time to be silent


Quick date for dessert at Spoon It- No time for talk


A time to keep


Pictured is a more recent tresured day at Shangri La.


Naturally, not all pictures were captured. Beautiful, happy days with our children were spent.  This year, like every year, held times of busy schedules, growing pains, viruses, days with unmade beds and no milk in the fridge.  But today and every day


I'm thankful for all of our times.


June 3, 2012


Happy 17th Anniversary.


-Had to throw this one in



					

		
		
	


	

				

						

				
				
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You've heard it said; "Don't take it personal".


I admit there are circumstances where someone has said something unnecessary, hurting me or someone I love.  In those instances, it is definitely in our best interest to not take it personal.


But I like personal.  Hayden had pages of stickers with his name on them when he was younger.  He proudly stuck them on everything.


Hallie received an award for her DARE essay.  It makes her, and her dad and I proud to see her name written on that certificate.


Hallmark cards are great, but there's nothing like a hand-written sentiment.


I remember traveling on vacations as a child looking in souvenir stores.  Stores had the turning rack with personalized license plates and key chains.  I always wanted something with my name on it, but either they didn't have it or it was misspelled.  If my name wasn't spelled correctly, it wasn't meant for me.


Rylie received an end of year" personalized towel at school. It brought back to mind seeing towels in Jason's house with the names "Jason" and "Ann".  Someone was making an effort to say "This is just for YOU".


Of the million things that could be said about God, pretty high on the list is the fact that he is personal.  He created time and space the earth and everything in it.  He makes the ocean foam, the bird sing, and the heart beat, and he specifically cares for me.


I don't often shop there, but when I go to Pier 1, I usually see things there that make me think "that has my name all over it".  There are books that seem to fit my interests or needs.  There are people who share my taste and those who have had similar life experiences as mine.  But what I get from them isn't personal like God is personal.


He knows me.


From knowing the number of hairs on my head- to knowing my every thought; he knows me.  He knows my insecurities, my failures, and of my unfaithfulness to him at times....  He knows me.  And he still loves me.


Stop and watch that sunset.  It may have your name on it.


 


Delight in the bird that needed your rescue.  It may have been no accident.


Listen to that song on the radio.  It may be just for you.


Stay in that hug; the very arms of God may be around you.


Take it personal.


 


 


 


 

					

		
		
	


	

				

						

				
				
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"When did you tell me that?  I didn't hear you say that."


"I told you three times the other night."


"Well, I didn't think you were serious."


"So you did hear me."


"I might remember something about it, but I'm remembering it differently than you do."


What an awkward conversation.


Conversations similar to this have repeated themselves across our 17 years together. I never set out to ignore or to contradict or to undermine, but it sure has come across that way at times.


It's a terrible feeling when we have hurt the one who is closest to our heart.


Yes. This is how a conversation went after Rylie's graduation that Jason and I attended with one car.


Jason: I'm going to go ahead and take the two big kids.


Me: Ok. The car is parked on the street by the two-story house on the corner.


Jason: Ok.


Me: (Looking for the keys-He waits for me to find them then starts walking


without the keys) Where are you going?


Jason: Home.


Me :But I have the keys.


Jason: Ok.


Me: How are you going in the car without the keys?


Jason: I'm not.


Me: Then what are you doing?


Jason: We're walking.


Me:Why didn't you just tell me that when I was telling you where the car was parked and while I was looking for the keys?........


Our conversations, or lack thereof, can be frustrating and disconnecting. We sometimes remind me of oil and vinegar; a vinaigrette.  I love a good vinaigrette on my salad.  I occasionally make it at home for our salad. Though oil and vinegar go wonderfully together, the two ingredients have to be briskly whisked by a strong hand. And to keep the vinaigrette from tasting too tart, you have to keep whisking.


Communication can be a big source of frustrations in a marriage.  There are times that we are just not on the same page. It doesn't happen often, but it happens often enough to make me want to try to avoid it in the future.


One problem lies in the fact that men and women think differently.  We approach our world from different perspectives.  It is difficult to put yourself in the place of another.  You cannot listen well without trying to understand the other person from their vantage point.


Sometimes the frustration is compounded by assumptions we make.  In the conversation above I was assuming Kristi knew certain things, Kristi assumed I was going to do certain things, and you can assume that we broke from that conversation thinking the other was goofy.


We heard one another's words, but we were not listening from the perspective of the other.  I think putting yourself in the place of the other is the key to great communication.  If we are going to have great communication we need to be mindful to share more with each other than just the facts.  When we communicate feelings and ambitions and goals we are giving our partner a better foundation to be able to listen to us from.


Assumptions are easily and often wrongfully made when we we're not deeply invested in the conversation.  At Rylie's graduation, we were busy.  Many times I'm rattling off, telling Jason things he could care less about.  I approach him some times when he is exhausted. There are probably days he is wary to approach me at all. As different as we are, God is helping us gain a knowledge of what it means to listen and respect one another. Now if we could just be faithful in exercising that knowledge. Oil and vinegar. Thankful for a mighty hand that binds two hearts together that otherwise would have less savor on their own.


Do you have similar stories of miscommunication/ or lack of communication?


Our conversation was compared to oil and vinegar.  What would you compare


your conversations to?


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My in-laws brought fresh tomatoes with them this past weekend.  Fresh tomatoes plus salt makes for one happy girl.  I can't believe I spent the first eighteen years of my life unaware of their tasty goodness.  Jason feels the same way about coconut pies.  And he tells everyone.  He received thirty-something coconut pies from our sweet church family one birthday not so long ago.  So shamelessly I decided to tell the world that I love tomatoes hoping that some sweet local gardener might get the hint and share one, or ten of those red beauties with me.


Hayden shared a fun story with me last week.


Every semester, I believe Philpott Motors gives away a car to one lucky student with perfect attendance.  With all the students crowded into the auditorium, questions are asked to all students.  Those students with answers that apply are allowed to keep standing.  When those hundreds of kids standing are narrowed down, remaining students are allowed onto the stage.  Hayden got to be one of those kids. The question was asked, "Who of you have the same name as the name of a place" to which Hayden answered into the microphone "Hayden Valley, Wyoming".  I so enjoyed hearing him tell the story.  I think he had the best time making it to the stage, and then getting to speak into the microphone.


Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8


Jason doesn't like tomatoes.  He's tried them.


Hayden didn't win that car.  But there's something about having been able to get on the stage. It must have been exciting to get one step closer to that car than those who had to sit on the floor seats below.  I wonder how it felt for Trevor, who won the car, to be handed those keys.


I know one thing.  As good as a room temperature salted tomato tastes to me, and as good as a cold coconut pie tastes to Jason, there is nothing compared to the goodness of the Lord.  Winning a car has to be exhilarating, but the newness will fade.


We can take a step closer to the Lord leading to ever-increasing glory in our lives, though likely there will be steps back too.  But as we proceed into His presence we will see that He is very good.


Taste and see that the Lord is good; you won't be disappointed!