respect: to treat or deal with (something that is good or valuable) in a proper way 

And as you wish others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31

I remember clearly one of the last nails in the coffin of my full-time teaching profession. My second grade class had just returned from PE. 

Coach ordered two of the boys to sit out at recess. According to the coach, boy #1 was scooping sand between his legs while standing. Some sand hit boy #2 in the face. Boy #2 proceeded to spit in boy #1's face. When the time came to sit out, boy #2, the spitter, refused to sit out.

 I suggested we call home to share this news with his parents. This ended up being one of the worst ideas I've had to date.  His dad answered the phone. I quickly shared what had transpired and how coach had requested he (and "the sand thrower") have some time to sit out at recess. I shared his refusal to sit out.  His dad answered with a profanity-laced rant affirming that his kid would not be sitting out because 'if he had in fact spit in someone's face, he had a perfectly good reason'. 

I have since then witnessed kids telling teachers "they don't have to!" and kids crawling under desks or tables or running around when an adult has told them to get in their seat. My own kid recently shared they didn't understand why they needed to say "yes ma'am" when answering a question. 

Let me say that I love kids. I love their spontaneity and spunk. I love to listen to their stories that have unexpected twists and turns. I admire their honesty even when it's at the expense of me and my new hairdo. 

But kids in general are less respectful these days.   Kids are a product of what they're taught, but moreso of what is modeled. 

  

And let's face it. The "Father of the spitter" isn't the only parent not adequately modeling respect. 

We're too busy to be respectful. 

Myself included, we're busy people...... Too busy to take the time to assign value to people. So we rush, letting the door close on the elderly gentleman slowly shuffling behind us.  We cut someone off  in traffic (Oops! Sorry.) because we have somewhere we have to get. We avoid the church member in Academy because we don't have time for conversation. We ask and answer the question "How are you?" disenigenously without giving the person we pass the time of day.  

We're too distracted. 

iPads, iPhones and hand-held gaming devices keep us from making eye contact with people when we're having conversation (if we're having conversation). I'm guilty of this. 

We're too frustrated to be respectful. 

Facebook frustrates me. I still have an obsession with reading the news which is often slanted. Worse, I read the comments which are written by people who are talented at being vulgar and hateful. I show restraint by not typing my comment, but instead share my response to whatever family member is closest by.  It's usually not nice. I'd say it's not respectful. With my words I devalue the person who has spoken in ignorance or spite.

Maybe the person whose comment is my aim didn't hear what I said, but too often my kids witness my lack of respect. 

I'll shamingly share that I've openly vented about teachers (or on one occasion a coach) in front of my kids.  A coach had called Hayden a  name on the court loud enough for me to hear. I unleashed my fury in the car. Rylie, who was four at the time, chimed in from the backseat: 

"Ok guys, on the count of three say it with me.  Let's ruin coach's life!"

Not respectful. 

And here's the biggie-

We don't show respect because people don't "deserve"our respect. 

(People like that coach)

We seem to hold the idea today that respect MUST be earned. Foolish people don't deserve it. Unfair people aren't worthy of it nor those we deem ignorant.  

It's easier to show respect 

- to individuals who make us feel good about ourselves  (We totally respect people who give us compliments.) 

-when we're not challenged (It's much easier to show respect to people who share our beliefs than it is to people who ruffle our feathers) I find it easier to respect people who are pro-life and people who are against legalizing marijuana. 

-to those who have built-in status (like the mayor or military personnel or people in positions we admire) 

-on a good day  (When we're having "a bad day" neither our husband who forgot to pick up his socks, nor the innocent cashier at Burger King who isn't responsible for the onions we found on our burger is deemed worthy of our respect.)

Respect doesn't have to be earned. We are people of grace. 

Showing respect is a behavior more than a feeling. 

Showing respect has more to do with the one offering respect than it does the recipient. 

Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers... 1 Peter 2:17

In everything set them an example by doing what is good.  In your teaching show integrity, seriousness. Titus 2:7

We can show consideration to those who lack integrity. We can still behave respectfully  when someone has hurt us or (this is hard to swallow) when they have hurt our children. 

This means we respectfully act , respectfully respond and, when necessary, we respectfully disagree.

 And we can teach our children to do the same, doing our part to create future adults of integrity. 

Once again, I'm thankful for grace in my failings. 

Lord help me to extend grace (in the form of respect) to others.