Pleasure often comes with adverse reactions.

I've come to the conclusion that, presently, wheat is my one of my pleasure enemies.  Due to Rylie having an allergy to it, amongst other offenders, I've intentionally become more aware of what we eat.  After avoiding wheat myself and then going on a weekend splurge of fresh tortillas and empanadas, I realized that wheat affects me adversely too.  I get headaches and stomach-aches.  And ironically, wheat puffs me up like I'm carrying a bun in the oven.

Through some research, I've been attempting to find out if wheat should be avoided. I love it dearly.  I would be satisfied with simply a thick slice of buttered sourdough bread.  Is that too much to ask?........ I think so.

So I say goodbye completely to wheat for a week. No oat and honey breakfast bars, no PB&J sandwiches.  No yeasty rolls and no fried....anything.

Jason has joined me.  Rylie doesn't know it, but she has too.  She is only supposed to eat wheat every fifth day, but I've let her cheat, a lot. We start tomorrow.

You can probably guess what I'm eating today.  I made chicken fried steak for lunch.  For dessert and supper I made chocolate chip cookies.  I know.......I'm in trouble.

I can't imagine that anyone would be remotely interested in my diet, but there's a broader issue at hand I feel certain some of you can identify with.  For those of you with saintly self-control, my hope is that you'll in pity pray for me.

I'm terribly soft.  Like my seven-year old told me in May, "I want to do what I want to do".  For the most part, I want you to do what you want too, unless it's clearly wrong.  A self-justifying creature, I can talk myself into watching one more episode of Disappeared on the ID channel when I have other things to do.  I can remind myself that I didn't drink the entire content of the last Dr. Pepper can, leaving an excuse to pop open one more.  I'm the friend that says, "Go ahead and get the dress, you look great in it".

It's now as I sit with my gluttonous belly-full of gluten that I am convicted of my lack of self-control. My tendency in choosing pleasure over what is good for me has been layed bare.

So it is with a full stomach that I ask for prayer.  I want to better know that pleasure and joy are not the same.  In an arm wrestling match joy would win; pleasure would poop out. Joy comes from a deep well.  Pleasure is a tickle to our senses; immediate gratification that goes as quickly as it comes.  I want to learn to have joy in waiting for desired change.  I want to experience the accomplished and grateful feeling that comes as a result of something worked for.  Pleasure has been my partner.  It's time for a partner change.

All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable.  All things are lawful for me, but i will not be mastered by anything.  1 Corinthians 6:12  (Take that, pleasure!)

I need the partner that shows me the difference in what feels good and what is truly good.  I need that partner, the spirit, that urges me in the way I should go, whether or not it makes me happy.    I need to be filled so that I'm capable of living beyond my most immediate whim.

Pray for me.

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view, we love to walk the plains.

-John Wolfgang von Goethe