Dearest Daughter,

You reminded me again today how hair brushing is a dreaded daily activity. I know. You've got a mess of hair on that head of yours which means you're going to have tangles. You squeal in pain almost every single time we have a brushing session. It hardly helps when I let you watch the Disney channel trying to distract you. The twenty different kinds of moisturizing shampoo, conditioners and detanglers that I've tried haven't helped that much either.

You accuse me of being the worst "hair brusher" lauding your uncle and dad as better than me.

Here's the thing.

Mamas know that tangles can't stay. Tangles left alone grow to be stubborn, massive knots. They have to be addressed. Though it causes you discomfort, we work through strands until each knot relents. It's not easy.  And I may not show it, but hurting you, hurts me.

That's something you won't understand for a while.

You're learning to brush your own hair. And I'm glad. It thrills me to see you grow.  Unfortunately, there are those other catches that you need help with. There will be confused messes in life that very much resemble those hair tangles you get.

There have already been some of those occasions. Remember those times that you brought home math papers with circled, missed problems? You couldn't understand why I made you go back and correct them. Why couldn't I just leave it alone? They were life tangles; a mess to address. We needed to work through them so that next time you approached those kinds of problems you'd master them with more ease.

I'll continue to make you clean your room. And tell the truth when you've made a mistake. I'm here to help you with life's disarranged parts.

Later there will be relationships that you'll wish I'd stay out of.  Still, there will be times I'm going to be right there in that mess. I'll keep teaching you to make right, the things you've done wrong. There will be apologies you are taught to make and apologies you are encouraged to accept. There will be times that I tell you to walk away from people who don't treat you the way you should be treated. I will teach you that some relationships aren't healthy.

Some of life's snarls you won't be able to see. They'll be just like the knots in the back of your hair right in the underneath. You never knew they were there. But a mama knows.

Learn to trust me.

There will be other times when I brush and there's ease. No tangles.

I'll keep brushing anyway.

Please understand. This act will prevent tangles. I'll do much the same as I stay in your business in the years to come. Just ask your older sister. I'll be involved in what music you listen to and what you post on Instagram. I'll help determine what you can wear and the places you'll go.

I pray that as you grow older your mind will change about my constant care over your life. I hope that someday you won't find it intrusive like you may for the next couple of years. This discipline of working together through the disarray of life will be one of the things that brings us closer together. And I hope that as you grow wiser you'll come to trust my forever-desire to bring about good things in your life.

It's my hope that someday you know that the tangles, life's snarls and knots, they've never been important; YOU ARE.

And maybe there will come a time that you ask me to brush your hair.

I think your hair is beautiful.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11