I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:32
I yelled at the kids today. That happens sometimes on three day weekends. It happens when the kids have spent a significant stretch of time together. Interacting for too long typically allows room for personalities to clash. "Passive aggressive, bored sibling" antagonizes "she who wants to be alone and has succumbed to pouting". Then there's the sibling who is already distraught by my cleaning orders who goes into melt-down mode after being annoyed by above said passive aggressive sibling. There's sinister laughter, whining, false accusations and gnashing of teeth (the gnashing of teeth would be me).
So I yelled.
We'd just got back from Easterfest where we'd served the hordes Easter eggs with a smile. I'd handed out a stack of church flyers inviting people to join us tomorrow morning for Easter services. I was inspired by bible verses and smiley faces and rainbows drawn on slab with bright-colored chalk. I posted a picture of such blessedness and I hash-tagged it "Jesus Saves".
And now my kids were acting like they knew nothing about that.
More sad, I was acting like I'd forgotten too. I began to tabulate my kids' transgressions along with my own (I'm really good at that). Grappling with the thoughts of "where are we going wrong", I began to feel more wretched.
I live in the knowledge that there are some who question how I can call myself a Christian when I act unkind, or impatient or selfish(selfish is a big one). This is a question I ask myself too.
....For I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me. Psalm 51:3
I'll go to church tomorrow though. Not because I think I'm holy. On the contrary, I'll go because I haven't a hint of holiness of my own. Not today. Not on my best day either.
I'll go because Holy God saw it fit to call me His own through His work on the cross. I go in gratitude. He's never dissuaded from loving me. He's never shocked by my lack of faith or misbehavior. He never calls it quits.
Nobody can produce new evidence of your depravity that will make God change his mind. For God justified you with (so to speak) his eyes open. He knew the worst about you at the time when he accepted you for Jesus' sake; and the verdict which he passed then was, and is, final. (JJ Packer, Knowing God).
Jesus saves.
I'll post and share on Facebook that which is Jesus-related. Not because I emulate Christ rather well. But because Jesus is who I aspire to be more like. We ALL need to be more like Jesus.
I'll wear my "Forgiven" bracelet
-sometimes forgetting I'm covered in his grace
-sometimes erring so, that grace seems in vain.
Still.
Jesus saves.
I'll hashtag #jesussaves and #christlivesinme even though I act rather hopeless sometimes and I sink into despair for the smallest of reasons. Because he does.
Jesus saves.
I'll cast aside the heaviness in my heart that has weighed me down this week as I've hurt alongside those with those deep hurts. I'll leave the hard questions without answers. Because I know one thing that matters above all things.
Jesus saves.
- Sing above the battle strife:
- Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
- By His death and endless life
- Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
- Shout it brightly through the gloom,
- When the heart for mercy craves;
- Sing in triumph o’er the tomb:
- Jesus saves! Jesus saves!
His grace is greater than my sin. So I'll sing brightly, shout triumphantly.
Jesus saves. Jesus saves.
