It's five minutes until 11:00 pm; one hour until the 19th. I'm exhausted from December and uncomfortable from sinus junk. I went to sleep at 8:00 this evening but was woke up by Hallie. She told me that A&E had suspended Phil Robertson for comments he had made about homosexuality. I assured her that she'd misunderstood. And I tried to go back to sleep. I was convinced that we (as a culture) haven't gotten so far that we would immediately remove/ banish someone for sharing their beliefs, WHEN ASKED.

I was wrong.

If you've been under a rock and have missed what's going on, here's the link: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/12/18/phil-robertson-suspended-after-comments-about-homosexuality/
I'd like to tell you that my heart is troubled for Phil Robertson and his family tonight. And it is.
I've listened to Phil Robertson's testimony. He has laid bare his troubled past and his present imperfection. He expresses that we are all fallen and in need of a Savior.

He has been given a platform by A&E only to be cut down from it the second he shares certain beliefs, upon being prompted.  While blunt,  I've heard nothing of hate in his words and it seems the media (in all its trolling) has found no hate in his actions. Yet he has been labeled a "vile" man who is not a "true" Christian. I can only imagine the hate mail he and his family have received today.

I'm mad at what has happened to Phil Robertson. But upon soul searching, I realize there are several reasons for my sadness, and even anger.

"Forcing your beliefs on someone" and "sharing what you believe" to be true are two different things.  It seems to me that Phil Robertson gets that.  A&E does not.  GLAAD does not.  Mr. Robertson, upon request shared his beliefs. And because GLAAD and A&E, along with much of modern America don't get that you can share your beliefs lovingly, Mr. Robertson is being portrayed as homophobic and hateful. (Throw in the likes of us who are standing behind him).

I try to teach my children that the truth is ALWAYS right.

Certainly there's a sensitive timing in speaking the truth,  but we're told to

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. 1 Peter 3:15

I like to put things off, but I'd also like to think that I'm prepared to give that answer for myself. I have before and pray that I will always be ready to explain the reason for my hope (not for any good I've done but because of Christ).
I guess I wasn't prepared to explain to my twelve-year-old daughter that she should be ready because society says that it wants an answer; its answer and it wants it now. The agenda of homosexuality acceptance is being force-fed to kids younger than my eight-year-old.  I wasn't prepared to explain to my kids that truthfully you're not safe sharing your beliefs in America anymore, not Christian ones anyway. Now I realize that is a conversation that is going to happen soon.

I'm hopping mad that this show is in danger of being taken off the air.  Even if they keep it on the air (without Phil) I'm angry that I'm in a position where it's only appropriate (in my mind) to make the decision to stop watching a show that has been the only show my family watches together. It's slim pickings for family friendly shows and I was refreshed that A&E was offering a good one.

I've read recently (in an interview with Phil) that A&E asked him to leave out the name of Jesus when he prays.  He also shared that the bleeps I've heard during shows are fictitious, making us believe that the characters are cursing when in fact they're not; offensive lies. These decisions on A&E's part are, in my opinion more grievous than putting him on hiatus.  The hiatus, for me, is just the last straw.

I'm angry that there are less and less voices ready to answer what they believe, fearful that they will be misunderstood or mistreated. I find that I often lose my own voice.  I can love people and simultaneously believe that their choices are not in line with what the Bible says. Culture leads us to believe otherwise. And yes I know that my choices are often out of line.  I get that I need Jesus too.

I'm angry that it's now 11:49 and I'm still awake.

I'm so angry and I'm so saddened that I'm asking Christians to wake up with me.

Do we know what the Bible says?
Does it matter to us?
Does it matter to the lost or the deceived?
Does our attention to these questions matter to God?

God tells us to be ready with an answer...

What is our answer going to be?