It's 1:07 AM and I can't sleep.

My head is stuffy, but I don't think that keeps me awake.  I went to sleep at a good time, after telling you goodnight- with you as a fifteen year old for the last time.  I closed my eyes for just a moment and then awoke to look at the clock and it was 12:13.

You're sixteen.

Just like that.

I'd barely dozed off it felt.

I've been awake now for an hour and time is passing much more slowly.  Time passes unaware when you're sleeping. Time passes quickly when you're in a constant rush to do life too.

I'm thankful for this time since 12:13 when time has seemed still; like there's a moment to soak in the present. Thank you God for time to reflect on the beauty of the past.

That's what I'm doing here in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm thinking of how grateful I am to God for you.  I'm flipping through pictures in my mind; some where you're tall and lanky with that head full of hair, and another where you're covered by nothing more than a diaper and brownie batter.

I'm thinking back to those first moments of your birth.  I remember looking at you for the first time, and you at me with your wide-eyes.  It wasn't an introduction; it was more as if we'd known each since the beginning of time. And I remember how when you were just but a few days old, it seemed like life before you was nonexistent.  From the instant you were born your tiny fingers grabbed on to life.  Since then you have held my heart.

I'm thankful for this stillness.   I'm reminded that though we sleep and make haste in life, there are those sweet moments when time has slowed to a crawl....

For it seems you blink and sixteen years have passed.