May integrity  and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you. Psalm 25:21

I put my own integrity into question this past week.

Hallie needed three immunizations to start back to school; two we got easily at the local CVS.  The other shot, the second dose of the chicken pox immunization, we were told would have to be prescribed, ordered, picked up and carried to our family doctor who would then administer the shot.

This turned out to be untrue and thus the wild goose chase began.

I called several clinics and visited pharmacies several times. I might mention too that I spent umpteen minutes listening to jazz while on hold waiting to talk to my insurance company about immunization coverage.

That was last week.  I gave myself a six-day hiatus from the shot-chasing fiasco.

This morning I picked up the phone again; my resolve renewed.

After calling two clinics, one clinic five times, I hit the jackpot.  For a substantial fee, they would give the immunization.  And they only had three left.  Hallie threw some clothes on.  And we hightailed it to Viterbo Rd.  We didn't have cash which caused....you got it.... more running around.  Pain.

But we got it.

After calling numerous clinics.

Despite being rejected at the pharmacy three times.

And even with runaround from the insurance company-

We got the immunization!

This may seem trite.  But this was somewhat of an ordeal to me.  I really wanted to get ugly with unhelpful people.   What I really wanted to do was forget about the shot.  I was presented with several opportunities to bypass the immunization.  I had the chance to -not get- Hallie the immunization with only the slightest amount of dishonesty necessary.

#1. The notification from the school stated that the immunization could be bypassed if a letter from the parents stated that the child had already had the chickenpox virus. A lying letter only crossed my mind after the seventh failed call to clinics.

#2. The second pharmacy we visited already had the paperwork filled out saying that they had administered the shot to Hallie.  The pharmacist had already signed and dated the form when we found insurance wouldn't cover. I had the form needed to give to the school though in actuality she hadn't received the shot.

Honesty is important to me, but honestly this felt like this was one of those times that it would be a little lie that wouldn't hurt anybody.  I had put more than enough time and effort required to get the shot.  I also have a growing and unending list of things to do (which probably doesn't include blogging).  Doesn't that qualify me to tell a little lie?  Shouldn't that make me exempt from shot-chasing?

I hope you're not shocked at this admission.

I'm absolutely unaware of how many times I take the crooked road; lined with white lies...................Ok...  It's probably a big lie to make someone think Hallie has had a shot that she hasn't.   But it would have been an easy one to tell.

I thought myself lacking integrity for even considering the easier way.  And sure, there are those of you out there that it would never occur to you to be dishonest in this or similar situations.

Bottom line?  I knew we had to get the shot regardless of the ill-conceived thoughts that popped into my head suggesting ways to get out of it.

The heart is deceitful....

It should always be my prayer that as I seek to do what is right that God will be faithful to help me with my feelings.

Integrity is strength of decision no matter how you groan in it's making.  Integrity, I believe, is choosing what's right when what's wrong is tempting.

I wish we had been able to easily get our shots on the first try, but it was on Viterbo Road that we found the shot we needed.  And it was there that I had my integrity still with me.

Integrity is not always my reality, but it is my goal.