Rylie waited for Jason downstairs this morning, just as she does every morning. Purple sneakers in her hands, she wanted her dad's help to tie her shoes. She knows how to tie her shoes, but "they come undone when I tie them," she said. "And Dad ties them much tighter than I can".
I read Psalm 51 this morning just as 'my pastor' requested that the congregation do, every day this week. I think David is on to something. He seems to be waiting on His Father. He is completely aware of his dependence on God; knowing that nothing good or lasting comes from our own effort. Take a look.
Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
(I was imperfect at birth and remain incapable of right-living on my own.)
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
God I'm eager to do things right. I want to be a good mom, a supportive wife, a loyal friend. Help me to realize that being your daughter is the most important role I play. Like floppy, undone laces, so is my life when I try to tie up messy ends on my own. Help me understand that it's your desire
to wash me
to create me
and renew me
You deliver me
and restore me
It's only when I make room for your work in me, that I really have anything to offer. How humbling. Sometimes we just have to leave things undone and wait. May I learn to wait for you just like Rylie waits for her daddy. Help me to get the fact that you don't need my genius or effort; that you're making me into someone new, though the process is long. You don't need me to change the world. You want me to allow your change in me. Grant me patience and a gratefulness that you would do such a thing.
Amen.