As moms we don't usually think our kids need much guidance on bullying, unless it's to defend themselves against being bullied.  I bet there aren't many moms who think their children are bullies.  For one thing we don't always get to see how our children behave around other children. Besides that, the word bully is akin to being a villain, THE bad guy, and that's not our kid. The word is so negatively charged.  Who would dare to admit to their child being one? It's best, I suppose to teach our kids what it means to be kind and of the weight of our words and actions toward others (not forgetting the consequences of our standing by in silence and inaction).

October is Bully Awareness Month.  I'm sharing some of the pictures of our last God's Girlies gathering.  We talked about kindness.  We talked about forgiveness.  We mustered up some boldness.  This means we talked about God, our guide in tough times.  I've been reminded of an awesome verse that I think addresses bullying perfectly.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.  And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly

and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.  Micah 6:8

God has shown us.  Christ's life on earth provided the perfect example. And he still "shows us what is good" through the work of His Spirit within us. But we have bad memories.  We forget what good is when we're faced with self-preservation.  We fail at being kind time and time again because we're selfish creatures looking out for number one.  The point?  We're not born selfless, and even when we're taught what is good, we forget and we get distracted.  Thankfully, He has shown us (two thousand years ago and today) what is good.

He tells us to act justly while the world tells us to act like everybody around us- so to not stick out like a sore thumb, making ourself a perfect target for ridicule.  Acting justly, or morally right usually isn't convenient or popular. It usually requires stepping out in boldness. Telling a coach that someone is being mistreated daily in the locker room or standing up to the person who is belittling, may make you some temporary enemies.  Sitting by the kid who is alone at the lunch table or pairing up with the kid who is always the last to get a partner may lower your social status by a few points.  Still, God wants us to do what is right in His eyes.  We usually know, deep down, what that is. Kindness is morally right; being kind is being just.

God requires that we love mercy.  I like to think of grace as getting what you don't deserve.  Mercy is not getting what you deserve.  I think of the movie Mean Girls, amongst other movies, where you're totally rooting for the mean girls to get that they deserve.  You've probably wanted revenge on someone who's hurt you.  Wanting revenge comes naturally.  Remember this! -There are a lot of things that occur naturally (like pimples and spoiled milk ).  Natural or not, they aren't good or desirable to anyone with good sense. What comes natural isn't necessarily right. Acting like a bully comes naturally. Usually a person is acting out against some insecurity or anger that they hold within.  It's still wrong.

I'm thankful that God is merciful to me.  I don't want to get what I deserve.  I don't spend a single day living exactly as I should.  God says we are to love mercy.  I think that means not hating people who behave bullyishly.  We should be praying for the person being bullied, but the bully needs our prayer too.  They both need more Jesus (Don't we all?).

Walk humbly with your God

In our most honest thoughts, we would probably realize that we've behaved like a bully at times.  We would remember that we've been in the most unfortunate place of being victimized by someone's bad behavior.  We've stood by and witnessed pure meanness; a participant by our mere presence.  A song I love (a special rendition of the song "Stand By Me") carries the line "No matter who you are, No matter where you go in life, You gonna need somebody to stand by you".  If you're expecting that person to be your best friend or even your mom, get set to be disappointed.  As much as I loyally love my daughters, my walk isn't always straight and I'm not always able to be beside them.  We all need to walk with Jesus, listening for his voice, even when He's telling us to do something we don't want to. -Even when He's telling us NOT to do or say something that we have the urge to.  Walking humbly with God means that his direction becomes more important than the one we want to take.

The world needs more kindness, more of God.

 

 

Whatever you do, don't miss this video that Rebecca Mosley made of our God's Girlies group.  I've watched it at least a dozen times.  These girls inspire me. It's on my wall on Facebook.  It's also on the God's Girlies wall. I'm trying to figure out how to get it on here.