I made my youngest change her shorts this morning. Along with her red Converse shoes she was wearing a red tshirt and a reddish pair of athletic shorts. I wouldn't want her to be mistaken for a member of the Bloods. 

So  I told her that only gangsters wear the same color clothes on top and bottom. (I left out the part that my honest concern was the weirdness of her apparel choice.)

I don't always know what to say when my kids dress or behave strangely. All three have their quirks. All three have gone through strange seasons (like the middle one who went through a season we fondly refer to as her "feather earring stage".) 

 I've gotten side-eyed myself for something that I've worn (I still remember that tie-dyed maternity top that no one liked quite like I did.) There's also certainly stuff I've said that make people say "Do, what?" We all have our quirks. 
  

So what are some things we can consider (and remember) when it comes to our kids' weirdness?

• We often confuse being strange with being inappropriate. As long our weirdness doesn't violate some moral code of standard there's nothing wrong with being different. Let's be careful to notice the difference. 

• Weirdness is simply unaccepted uniqueness. Just because a style of being is frowned upon doesn't mean it's not a great style. Let's not appoint the crowd as judge. 

• Being secure in your difference gives unspoken encouragement to others to be them self. We want our kids to be secure in who they are, not in who others expect them to be. We want them to be trend setters not trend followers. 

• Sometimes our unique style of behavior or dress is only a stage. In this case some really good memories can be made like my junior high hair wings and my high school "surfer wave" bangs. My middle daughter already regrets using a shade of blue as her favored eye makeup a couple of years back. The thought of it sure makes for a good laugh though. What about all of our diaries? We probably all said some pretty crazy stuff that would now make us go "What were you thinking?"  At least we were thinking (and thus developing). 

• Stifling our child's uniqueness can be a waste of time. Personally I have bigger fish to fry. My effort as a parent is exerted enough in reinforcing character traits that matter.  I should be more concerned with encouraging kindness and meekness, courage and honesty rather than whether or not my kid wears fuzzy socks with their skinny jeans or if they sing songs they wrote like  Sin You Were My God, to perfect strangers. 

•  There's no proper playbook when it comes to style of being as far as I'm concerned, just a popular playbook; a book of norms. Isn't being popular a status that's typically achieved by conforming to the status quo? I don't believe that's a dream any of us have for ourself or our kid.   
• This is the year My son became oddly obsessed with Pokemon cards. He talked incessantly about power points and battles ad nauseum. He passed that love on down to his sisters. One of the girls still draws Squirtle and Magicarp in her spiral. More than ten years later and the spirit of Pokemon is strong. These weird things that drive us crazy may inspire another. Let's have some patience with those little things that bug us. 

• Cramping creativity dismisses opportunity for innovation. Invention and ingenuity come from someone doing something in a way it hasn't been done before. I wonder what Picasso was like as a kid? You know he must have been quirky. I wonder how his mom responded to his quirks? The kid who chooses Legos or blocks over playing with friends may have been created with the purpose of becoming the next greatest architect. 

I wish I could bag up those ratty, red shorts and bring them to school to my daughter to put back on, as a form of an apology and as an encouragement. She wasn't the one who needed to change this morning. It was me. 

Update: