Tag Archives: kristi burden

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This morning I stood in the aisle of HEB for what stood like an eternity and stared.  I thought long and hard on what might make or break dinner for our old friends who are coming to visit;  salad dressing.

The choices are endless.

I love a good vinaigrette, that's easy.   But then you have balsamic-creamy or not, raspberry, honey pear?, poppy-seed, .....trust me I could keep going.  And these are just vinaigrette choices.  No telling how many versions and brands of Ranch dressing there are.  If you're an indecisive person like me, shopping can be overwhelming.

If I could transport my air-conditioner and i-phone, and of course my loved-ones, I think I would happily go back to the mid 1800s.  I might live in Walnut Grove like the Ingalls of "The Little House on the Prairie". I would shop at the Olson's Mercantile after easily getting dressed, slipping on one of the two dresses I owned.

I long for simplicity.

I yearn to be decisive.

I've gotten the same flavor sno cone for years-Tiger's Blood (except for the two times I went out on a limb and got Cajun Red Hot). I do this because I don't want to have to think about what flavor I want.

(see sno cone flavors right)

This problem of superfluous choices exists with more than food. Yes!  There are far more important choices that are difficult to make.

What music do I allow my children to listen to.

What do I allow them to wear.                                                                                     

Do I take my kid to the doctor.

Should Rylie continue allergy shots.

Recently it has become a more important question-What movies and books will I choose or decline.

How do I/when do I discipline my children?

What activities and chores do I force my children to do and where can I be flexible.

For every decision there is to be made, there are a hundred opinions.  I can consult Yahoo, Google, Ask Jeeves.... I can ask my neighbor, my friend.  I can buy a book from Barnes and Noble. And  I can do what I often do and just consider popular opinion.

Why am I guilty of caving to popular opinion?  (the opinion that says kids should be allowed to listen to whatever music and wear whatever clothes they want)

Why do I rush to Google? How many times have I read on Google that my symptoms or my children's symptoms indicate death is imminent?

Then there are the times that I'm asked questions by friends or family.  Too often I hastily give an answer ("Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge"....God says)

Today both at HEB and at the Sno cone stand I had to repeat a word to myself. It's a word I repeat to my children more times than I can count.

Focus.

Focus. Focus.

There is an answer.  Wait for it.... Pray for it....There is a good choice; a good decision found in a single source.

I'm going back to simple.

The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.  Proverbs 18:4

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25

By the way, I bought the balsamic vinaigrette again.

I'm sticking with the tried and true!

 

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Rylie has developed a new laugh.  It bothered me at first because it's fake in nature.  Her new laugh is loud and boisterous like she is. And though she's made it sound new, it's root is pure pleasure.  The more I have listened to it, the more I've come to love it. It's contagious.  It's healing. .....It's funny.

Laughter is  known to relieve stress and even physical pain. There has been much research to come to this conclusion, but the bible spoke of it long ago.  Maybe laughter is being spoken of when it says in Proverbs 17:22-

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. 

 Laughter, after all is an outward expression of a cheerful heart.

I can think of times that I have laughed.... I mean really laughed.  Several of those times were inappropriate. And several of my reasons for laughing were inappropriate.  I remember one of those times was when I was young and in church.

I grew up in a church where monkey business was not allowed.  If you were not absolutely quiet, you may very well be thumped, nudged or pinched- If not by your own parents, by someone else. As it should be, worship was serious business.  But I remember one Sunday morning, a lady who frequently sang, got up to sing a special.  I remember inwardly cringing because I knew she couldn't carry a tune.  I was sitting by my friends (some who hadn't heard her sing) and I knew immediately that I had to be the epitome of seriousness.  One by one snickers escaped my friends.  Even with Herculean effort, I only managed to hold on to mine for seconds, and what laughter didn't escape my lips escaped as tears.  Please don't judge me.

My point is, laughter is release.

Certainly we all have stress and sorrow that we would be eager to be rid of. Laughter, even if only temporarily, let's go pain to the wind.

Laughter lets go joy audibly. Like Rylie's contagious laugh, laughter is joy shared.

Laughter can even be a declaration of victory.

And Sarah said, "God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me".-Genesis 21:6

Laughter is a gift to those around you.  It's also a gift given to you. Maybe the only wise words spoken to Job by one of his friends were these words:

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting"-Job 8:21

Maybe we should consider the prayer of Job's friend. I will pray for Godly laughter, laughter to take away stress and pain, laughter to share joy and declare victory.   And in return for the gift, I will make my laughter a song of joy unto him.

What makes you laugh?

 

 

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Close the Door!

 All three of our children have heard Jason and I raise our voices in agitation as we approach the front door or refrigerator door  left wide open.  They come by it honestly.

I remember well, a time when I was somewhere between Hayden and Hallie’s age that I left one too many cabinet doors open. My mother carried out swift justice.  She opened every cabinet and drawer- maybe in the whole house.  She made me close every one.  Dramatic I’m sure, but it seemed like torture.  She watched (seemingly enjoying every minute).  Out of all the punishments I ever received, it's one I remember.

Presently I wouldn’t be able to count the number of times the refrigerator door, the car door and the front door have been left open by the kids. But as irony would have it, we now have a new problem.  I noticed it a few months ago.  The upstairs is entirely too quiet, even when I’m upstairs.  The two oldest, who  finally shut doors- are doing just that.  They routinely shut their bedroom doors now. They keep them shut. I suppose some privacy is in order.  But I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being shut out in some sense.

I’m not on their top ten list of "the world’s greatest people" anymore.  

 I rarely hear “Hey Mom, What do you think about….” 

 They think I’m strict.  They think I ask too much of them.  They think that I don’t understand them. 

 And so they shut the door.  They watch families on TV whose parents perfectly understand their kids.  They text kids their age and ask “Hey… What do you think about..”. They listen to songs sung by artists on their top ten list of "the world’s greatest people".

How do I contend with that?

First I moped.

.... Now I do what my mom did…..Well in reverse that is.

I have them open their door.  And open it again. I even invite myself in. I’ m sure it seems like pure torture.  I suspect they won’t like the continuing invasion. But I’m praying that maybe, just maybe, when they're older, it will be the punishment they remember.  And if I’m lucky, they’ll thank me for it.

I’m going to go call my mom now.

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Most everybody has been hissed at by a moody cat.

But have you ever had opportunity to be face-to-face with an overprotective gander?

One our favorite pastimes while vacationing at Fun Valley is to be accosted by the gander member of the Cananda Geese family.

We really start out feeding the goslings, but challenged by the father goose, the gander, it becomes a game to get closer and closer to the goslings while being hissed at. If you didn't know,  geese have little teeth. By not chickening out as the distance between me and the gander closed in- I saw them.

We make sure and have bread on hand to feed them and lure them in.  We have done it enough times now as to notice a pattern.

You see them coming, the goose, the goslings and then the gander-One big happy family.

They waddle near. And they wait.

We throw small pieces of bread, each piece nearer as to catch a close glimpse. The mom (goose) is just a bit smaller than the dad (gander).  The goose leads the way followed by the goslings.  The gander brings up the rear. Our eyes are usually on the babies. But this year, my sister noticed something.  While the goslings, and the goose are gobbling up bits of bread, the father stands behind and watches over the brood.

He doesn't eat when they eat.

He just stands tall and watches- hissing viciously at anyone who dares to bring them harm.

He has an impressive wing span too as he bats those wings warning you to step back if you get too close.

It's just as the goslings and mama are full and start to meander, that the dad grabs a few nibbles to-go and follows his family.

He wants you to know that his little ones are under his watchful eye;  under his constant protection.

Oh to have a father like that.

He will cover you with his feathers,

 and under his wings you will will find refuge;

 his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

-Psalm 91:4

 

 

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Jason and I have been writing a weekly shared blog for about a month now.  Topics have come easily as we take turns choosing and starting.  It’s my turn.  I’ve tried to wait for the perfect prompt to pop into my head.  I’m tired of waiting.  I’m no good at waiting.  Just yesterday I burned my tongue on pizza though I knew it needed to cool. Waiting would be one of my shortcomings.  So here it is.  On this topic,  I’m the subject and Jason is the voice. We’re talking about impatience.

 

I’ve been impatiently trying to get Kristi to start this blog all week-long.  The irony is, when she finally did get it started, I made her wait half a day before I contributed anything to it.

I think we both have our areas of patience and impatience.  She has more patience with people and I have more patience with things.  You should see her when the computer freezes up.  I’m usually not there beside her when it happens but I can hear it from the other side of the house.  It’s not a scream, per se, but rather a sigh from the pit of her technologically frustrated soul that fills the air with angst.  You won't hear that kind of sigh when she’s teaching, though.  She seems to have the longsuffering of Job when it comes to kids. 

I think in both of our cases, impatience leads to unnecessary frustration.  We get too easily bent out of shape over things we cannot control.  In every case, when we let the things around us start yanking our inner chains, we find ourselves stumbling down a defeated path.

Impatience always finds an excuse to act.

That was Jason's response the last time I was explaining to him why I was doing something in a hasty fashion.  I believe it may have been a blog post.  I felt passionately about what I was saying.  I was determined that if I didn't post at that moment, that there was no use in posting it all.  Impatience is akin to impulsivity.  The nice word that I use for my acting upon my inner urging is spontaneous.

Passionate.  Determined.  Spontaneous.  Those are good qualities.  But acting with no regard to timing can be disastrous.  Ninety percent of the time, maybe you've noticed, my posts contain glaring errors because I was in such a state of hurry. I skip steps and misstep when cooking and cleaning not to mention other daily activities.

Being impatient can also be characterized as being graceless.  I have family members who experience mild but frequent road rage.  I have a touch of it now and then.  Impatience doesn't just mean that I have to do what I want to do NOW.  It also demands that others do what I want them to do with urgency. Though I refrain from honking I have little grace when someone doesn't instantaneously notice that the light is green.  Afterall I have places I need to be.

We are going to lose our patience.  It’s not a matter of IF it’s going to happen, it’s a matter of WHEN.  What can you do when your feel your patience running out?

Breathe—You cannot always control the things going on around you, but you can control some of the things that are going on within you.  Our psychological state affects our physiological state and vice versa.  When we get anxious our heart rate increases, our breathing becomes more rapid and shallow, and a myriad of other physical consequences of impatience start to appear.  If we focus on what we can control physically, it will help with what is out of control psychologically.  When we choose to breathe deeply,  and slowly, it helps calms us to the point where we can make rational decisions rather than impulsive ones.  This works for dealing with irritable computers and adorable children.

Find Your Valuables—I’m not talking about the rings and the gold.  I’m talking about your inner compass; that basket of beliefs you hold near and dear to your heart that helps direct your life.  When we get impatient, sometimes we make impulsive decisions that run roughshod over our highest beliefs and ideals.  It’s always good to have a short mental list of those values and beliefs that help determine our decisions.  Referring to these core values will help keep you from doing anything in your impatience that you will later regret. 

Patience Building Practices—Every one of us, whether we consider ourselves a patient person or not, has a limited capacity for being patient.  At some point everyone’s patience will run out.  It might take 10 computer crashes, 4 bad drivers cutting you off, and 27 screaming kids, but it will happen.  The good news is that we can increase our capacity for patience.  Consider these patience building practices:

  • Sleep.  I tell Hayden, “A good day starts the night before.”  If you are starting out your day tired and frazzled, impatience will be only one thing on a long list of things that make your day go badly.  Each morning that you wake up after a good night’s rest, you have a renewed capacity to endure those things that make you impatient.  Insuring a good night’s sleep helps to ensure a good day’s supply of patience.
  • Pray.  To improve patience, you need to practice trust.  We feel anxious and impatient when we feel that life is spinning out of control.  Prayer is practiced trust.  We pray to God who is unseen about things that we cannot control.  We trust that His power is great and that His will is good.  By placing our trust in God we reap the benefit of being able to patiently wait on the Lord to work His will in our world.  If you are not in the habit of prayer consider using the Lord’s prayer as a model for constructing you own, heartfelt prayers to God.  In the Lord’s prayer you are praying for daily provision (both spiritual and physical), personal shortcomings and the shortcomings of others, temptations we suffer, and about the presence of evil.  If you can’t categorize your impatience under one or more of these categories, you might have bigger troubles than what I can help you with.
  • Read.  When we start our day off with scripture, we reinforce the values that help direct our steps.  Not only does the study of scripture help reinforce our values, but the regular study of scripture helps us refine those values.  When we are dealing with the Bible, we are not dealing with pie-in-the-sky idealism but down to earth spirituality.  As God’s story becomes our story, the values present in God’s book become the values exhibited in our lives. 

For the friendship of two, the patience of one is required.

 

What causes you to lose your patience? 

What do you do to regain it? 

 

Check out Jason's blog- www.pastorburden.com

I'd love to hear from you. My email- www.kristiburden@gmail.com

 

 

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Happiness is overrated.

I realize that may make me sound bitter or cynical.  Hopefully those of you who know me, know that I'm normally a happy person.

Though I've seemed to contradict myself, please keep reading.

HAPPINESS

We chase after it.  And when we find it we try to hold on.  But happiness, like the helium in a bright-colored balloon, doesn't stay.  It fills us temporarily making our world seem big and bright like a bouquet of balloons only to be deflated into a sad shrunken mess attached to knotted ribbons.

 

I was having a conversation (....ok, it was more like a lecture) with one of my children who was unhappy with me a couple of months ago. Out of a deep well of knowledge I had no idea existed I proclaimed,

"I want you to be happy, but my job is not to keep you happy".  I'm not really sure if it sunk in, but I haven't forgotten that statement.

I want to be happy.  I want my children to be happy, but is that what is most important?  I can't remember a single time that cleaning their bedroom or doing homework made them happy. Nor does getting a shot or being disciplined fill their desire.  Cleaning house doesn't make me happy.  Still the above mentioned chores and unpleasant experiences are at times necessary.

I'm guilty of bribing and rewarding to sugarcoat the unpleasant. Sometimes sugar-coating works, but like medicine disguised in jello, the bitter taste  remains.

Contentment in Christ

Happiness is often right smack in the way.  Pursuing happiness often keeps us from growing into maturing Christians.  And if we seek all of the things we want, the things that make us happy, we're often headed down a path contrary to the path of  discipleship. It takes both sunshine and rain to grow.

Happiness is dependent on circumstances.

Contentment in Christ is deep satisfaction that comes from God who is always enough.

Contentment stays, as God stays.

...I have learned to be content no matter the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.   -Philippians 4:11b-13

Through time spent with God, invite contentment into your life and the lives of your children.

The secret?

 You'll find that along with contentment, happiness  - its frequent companion, will visit often too.

 

 

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I heard the news the moment we arrived!  We reached South Fork a day early.  We were trying to find accommodations for the night, with no luck.  Pretty much every hotel and lodge in the small town was full.

Walt Disney is filming "The Lone Ranger" in nearby Creede.  The crew and cast are being housed in the area.  This news meant that Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, stars in the film, were somewhere in my vicinity.  For those of you who need a reminder, Johnny Depp is the despicable yet endearing pirate in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. He will play the part of Tonto in "The Lone Ranger".

I knew at once that I had to tell everybody (making for a facebook post and a couple of texts).

I had to make plans too.

When are we going to Creede (the actual filming site)?

What am I going to wear when we go?

What would I say if I ran into Johnny on the streets there?

These questions filled my mind.  And that made me a little excited.

We didn't get to meet Johnny Depp or any other cast members. We did however get to walk the streets they walked.  We ate at a little cafe and heard stories from the locals about the filming.  We stalked the edge of the film set with cameras to the irritation of a security guard.

I am proud to say that we did get pictures of some of the props.  We got so close as to know some great secrets.  The train cars moved on a trailer rather than tracks. Wind in the movie is made by rather large fans and not nature. And the rocks in the train cars are NOT REAL!  And as I read online sources, I was reminded that Johnny Depp is human- he's really human.

Honestly, it was fun getting up close though not personal.  I enjoyed the pursuit of fame and power.  Over six million dollars was spent during the three weeks filming at Creede.  But I'm pretty sure the train scene will have lost some of its magic with me having seen the props; knowing the tricks.

I remember going to a Christian concert several years ago and getting to meet the one of the singers backstage.  Granted the guy was exhausted, but he was borderline cranky as we approached him from the end of the line.

 The guy was much more pleasant from a distance.

I guess that's the reality with people and even nature.  I sit here typing now thinking how Colorado is not quite as heavenly as I remember it.  My nose is dreadfully dry and stuffy.  My skin is cracked and dry. And the soles of our feet are black as soot from mountain dirt.

Even the rich and famous and the most glorious places disappoint.

Yet we chase.

I believe this chase occurs because God has placed a desire in us to pursue that which is greater.  The pursuits of the fleshly nature just never quite meet our expectations.

Just think.

What if we paid more attention to the urging of the spirit.

What if lay our heads down at night reveling in the day spent with the Almighty.

What if we woke with anticipation knowing that He who is indescribable will be walking by our side.

What if we even got up close and personal.  And we realized that He doesn't disappoint.

What if we allowed ourselves to be   .....starstruck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Devotion for GG's Banana Extravaganza

 

Now that I've got your attention, this title isn't meant to be rude.

It's simply good advice.  We all want to grow up.  And we want to grow up well.  -Believe it or not bananas give us some great advice on just how to do that.

Most of you know the answer, but I'm going to ask the question anyway-just to get you thinking.

How do bananas grow? -Up from the stem or do they hang Down?

I specialized in Biology in college and didn't know bananas could grow up until I saw them with my own eyes on our Kenya trip.  How did I miss that?  Maybe because it seems logical that such a heavy fruit would grow down hanging from a branch or stem.

Bananas do indeed grow up, but they don't start that way.  Baby bananas actually grow down like most other fruits and vegetables. Gravity pulls them toward the ground just as it pulls you back down when you jump.

Here are some vocabulary words to keep you smart this summer.

Geotropism-the way an organism grows in reaction to gravity

Positive Geotropism-  organisms that grow downward ex. the way roots grow

Negative Geotropism-  organisms that grow upward ex. stems

Bananas display negative geotropism.  The more they encounter sunlight, the more they gravitate toward it.  This the reason bananas are curved..  In their small state, they grow toward the ground as gravity would have.  But as the bananas start to mature they start to sense the sun more and more. Referred to as fingers, the bananas curve from their starting place on the stem upward toward the sun.

You, my dear have spent time as a baby banana. 

As a baby banana some interesting things have gravity in our life. Gravity is defined as importance.  In Science you may have learned that gravity means weight.

Lets think of some weighty or important things in the life of you- as a baby banana.

Your clothes?

Others opinion of you?

TV and other entertainment?

What else?

As we mature, these things shouldn't hold so much importance.  Especially after we've sensed the sun.  The sun in our lives should be Jesus.  There would be no life without him.  It's also him who sees to it that we grow. As we reach for "the son" we begin to grow away from the old things that used to have gravity.

Just as the growing banana stretches to the sky leaving the ground behind, those things we once found weighty and important shouldn't matter so much anymore.

Grow up. Grow beautiful.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23

Discussion Questions:

1.Which way does a banana grow?

2. How are you like a baby banana?

3. What does a banana sense that helps it to grow?

4.How can you be more like a mature (or grown) banana?

Just for fun.

Banana bunches are referred to as hands and single bananas are referred to as fingers.  Fingers are much better combined to make a hand.  Likewise friendships and other healthy relationships are like bananas.  They come in bunches and grow together.

Also, a banana like any fruit stops growing and soon loses its beauty when disconnected from the branch or stem (think of a mushy brown-spotted banana). Likewise, our beauty and growth comes from staying connected to Jesus.