Tag Archives: parenting

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This morning I stood in the aisle of HEB for what stood like an eternity and stared.  I thought long and hard on what might make or break dinner for our old friends who are coming to visit;  salad dressing.

The choices are endless.

I love a good vinaigrette, that's easy.   But then you have balsamic-creamy or not, raspberry, honey pear?, poppy-seed, .....trust me I could keep going.  And these are just vinaigrette choices.  No telling how many versions and brands of Ranch dressing there are.  If you're an indecisive person like me, shopping can be overwhelming.

If I could transport my air-conditioner and i-phone, and of course my loved-ones, I think I would happily go back to the mid 1800s.  I might live in Walnut Grove like the Ingalls of "The Little House on the Prairie". I would shop at the Olson's Mercantile after easily getting dressed, slipping on one of the two dresses I owned.

I long for simplicity.

I yearn to be decisive.

I've gotten the same flavor sno cone for years-Tiger's Blood (except for the two times I went out on a limb and got Cajun Red Hot). I do this because I don't want to have to think about what flavor I want.

(see sno cone flavors right)

This problem of superfluous choices exists with more than food. Yes!  There are far more important choices that are difficult to make.

What music do I allow my children to listen to.

What do I allow them to wear.                                                                                     

Do I take my kid to the doctor.

Should Rylie continue allergy shots.

Recently it has become a more important question-What movies and books will I choose or decline.

How do I/when do I discipline my children?

What activities and chores do I force my children to do and where can I be flexible.

For every decision there is to be made, there are a hundred opinions.  I can consult Yahoo, Google, Ask Jeeves.... I can ask my neighbor, my friend.  I can buy a book from Barnes and Noble. And  I can do what I often do and just consider popular opinion.

Why am I guilty of caving to popular opinion?  (the opinion that says kids should be allowed to listen to whatever music and wear whatever clothes they want)

Why do I rush to Google? How many times have I read on Google that my symptoms or my children's symptoms indicate death is imminent?

Then there are the times that I'm asked questions by friends or family.  Too often I hastily give an answer ("Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge"....God says)

Today both at HEB and at the Sno cone stand I had to repeat a word to myself. It's a word I repeat to my children more times than I can count.

Focus.

Focus. Focus.

There is an answer.  Wait for it.... Pray for it....There is a good choice; a good decision found in a single source.

I'm going back to simple.

The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.  Proverbs 18:4

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25

By the way, I bought the balsamic vinaigrette again.

I'm sticking with the tried and true!

 

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Happiness is overrated.

I realize that may make me sound bitter or cynical.  Hopefully those of you who know me, know that I'm normally a happy person.

Though I've seemed to contradict myself, please keep reading.

HAPPINESS

We chase after it.  And when we find it we try to hold on.  But happiness, like the helium in a bright-colored balloon, doesn't stay.  It fills us temporarily making our world seem big and bright like a bouquet of balloons only to be deflated into a sad shrunken mess attached to knotted ribbons.

 

I was having a conversation (....ok, it was more like a lecture) with one of my children who was unhappy with me a couple of months ago. Out of a deep well of knowledge I had no idea existed I proclaimed,

"I want you to be happy, but my job is not to keep you happy".  I'm not really sure if it sunk in, but I haven't forgotten that statement.

I want to be happy.  I want my children to be happy, but is that what is most important?  I can't remember a single time that cleaning their bedroom or doing homework made them happy. Nor does getting a shot or being disciplined fill their desire.  Cleaning house doesn't make me happy.  Still the above mentioned chores and unpleasant experiences are at times necessary.

I'm guilty of bribing and rewarding to sugarcoat the unpleasant. Sometimes sugar-coating works, but like medicine disguised in jello, the bitter taste  remains.

Contentment in Christ

Happiness is often right smack in the way.  Pursuing happiness often keeps us from growing into maturing Christians.  And if we seek all of the things we want, the things that make us happy, we're often headed down a path contrary to the path of  discipleship. It takes both sunshine and rain to grow.

Happiness is dependent on circumstances.

Contentment in Christ is deep satisfaction that comes from God who is always enough.

Contentment stays, as God stays.

...I have learned to be content no matter the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength.   -Philippians 4:11b-13

Through time spent with God, invite contentment into your life and the lives of your children.

The secret?

 You'll find that along with contentment, happiness  - its frequent companion, will visit often too.

 

 

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My last post was a reminder that our children do notice.  They notice what we say. They notice what we do.  They even notice what we don't do.  (Hayden commented yesterday they we don't pray enough together -ouch.).  Today it sounds as if I'm telling you the opposite.  Today I'm saying that even though our children know our habits, we don't always see them practice what we practice or what we preach.  Sadly they seem to mimic the very things we wish they wouldn't.

 

As soon as I finished the Mini Me post, I remembered a sweet picture that Hallie drew for me several years ago.  Thankfully I found it with a few minutes of searching.  The picture is a treasure-To Mom From your Mini Me.  Those of you who know Hallie, know that she has always been a distinct individual;seemingly unimpressionable.  She has always had a strong sense of who she is up until recently.  Now in Middle School there are so many voices calling out to her.  Voices suggesting what activities she should participate in, what music she should listen to, the best shows to watch on TV.  She sees that she is supposed to bunch up the corner of her shirt with a rubber band making a tail.   Those shoes she found detestable last August are suddenly cute.  I am right beside her, but outside influences design her current world..

This picture is simple; Hallie and I standing, all smiles at the end of the rainbow.  A rainbow has forever served as a reminder of God's promise.  I did a parenting Bible Study called Value-Packed Parenting by Kevin Lehman.  The most important thing I remember from the study was the analogy made using a suitcase.  He compared all of the values that we instill in our children as items being placed in a suitcase.  Our children don't necessarily always hold dear those values while at home.  It is when they leave home that they often unpack those values. A rainbow signifies a journey.   While I would like to see Hallie and the other two applying values here and now, I need not lose heart when it seems the things we've taught them are now little more than a buzz in the ear.   We have them in our care for eighteen years.  We need to remember that it takes longer than we'd like- to teach them some things.

Start children off on the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6  Did you catch the "when they are old" part?  Hang in there mom and dad.  God's word also says, " For I know the plans I have for you"' declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."'  -Jeremiah 29:11   Though our children sometimes seem to listen to everybody but us, God has plans.  Her peers may color who she is now, but Jason and I are with her for the journey.  We get to be there when those long ago spoken truths begin to inform and transform. But we must also be faithful to pray for our children.

.Those of you familiar with the late seventies or Kermit the Frog may remember the song The Rainbow Connection.  The lyrics are hard to follow, but I like the last stanza. It sounds to me as if the voice comes straight from the soul of a child.

... Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. ... Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The voice might be one and the same I've heard it too many times to ignore it It's something that I'm s'posed to be... Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection, The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Hold tight.  Pray.  Teach them. Be that still quiet voice that has been heard too many times to ignore; the voice that helps show them who they are supposed to be.  In the picture, at the end of the rainbow, it's my hand that Hallie is holding.  The colors that now capture our children's attention will be like a rainbow that suddenly evaporates.  When the rainbow fades, our voice and values will remain.  We will see those plans the Lord had for our children coming to fruition.  I am secure in their future and thankful for the promise. Trust and see beauty in the journey!

 

 

 

 

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A post from a sweet friend:

From my Kieran's journal today...... 

I want to be a preacher.  Why?   Because Preachers teach about God and tell you God is your Savior.  Preachers are nice.  You can count on them to help you out in tuff times.  Preachers are awesome.  I am happy I am making this decision because Preachers make big differences in your life, like mine and when I am a Preacher you never know, I might make alot of people happy and make lots of differences in lots of peoples lives.  Someday people will know me as Brother Droddy.

Kieran Droddy

March 2012-3rd grade 

This boy is so in love with Jesus right now.  I pray that he will always be.  I never prayed for my kids to be star athletes or straight A students.....never prayed that they would be popular or make the winning touchdown.....win first place ribbons or become famous.....I have always simply and passionately prayed that they love love love Jesus......that they know Him and love Him.....that he order their steps and that they have the wisdom to follow and the discernment to know where he is leading them.....I want them to be good husbands and fathers and good wives and mothers....these words have been my prayers for 15 years of mothering....Fifteen joyful, hard, sad, happy exhausting years of motherhood.....and they will be my prayers for many many more years to come......Tears poured down my face today as he read this to me, tears from a Momma's heart that saw her prayers turning into fruition right before her eyes as she heard her little boy read words straight from his innocent heart, words this his Savior put in his soul and words that he obediently put on paper....I can not wait to see what God is preparing for him!  I hope his sweet words bless you as much as they blessed me and Eric.

I think I may be partial to preachers so naturally I melted when I read this. What sweet words. Kieran wants to be a preacher and I think that's amazing, but its not just because he wants to be a preacher. Hayden shared a few years ago that he was not going to be a preacher. I quickly told him that I do not want him to be a preacher " just beacuse his dad is". I also told him that I don't want him to NOT become a preacher "just because his dad is". My prayer is that he (and Hallie and Rylie) would have a sensitivity to God's presence and work in their lives even now. I pray that they will be so in love with Jesus that they will know Him well enough that following His will in their lives will be natural and a joy. How refreshing that Kieran has embraced what he believes God wants him to do, and he sounds a little excited!

Lisa's recounting her persistent prayer for her children made me smile all the more. What else would we need pray for? {that our children would LOVE LOVE LOVE Jesus}. I could pray without ceasing and not be profiting my children like this prayer. Lord please help Hallie find friends. Please help Hayden focus at school. I pray that Rylie will find joy in reading. These are good and needful prayers, but we can't neglect this simple prayer. And we would do well to pray it over and over. You read the Bible with your kids-super. You pray with them-that's great. You're being a great example of loving Jesus-awesome! Keep it up, but I'm thankful for the reminder to come before our God asking for His help in our children coming to love him in an ever-increasing fashion. I love my husband and I love my children. Embarrassingly but probably not alone I admit that there are many times I have to pray that God will help me to love them. Love them even though I may be mad. Love on them though I may be really busy. Take time to love them even though their way is not my way. Likewise with loving Jesus we need his help to love him in trying and busy times. And I can guarantee that these are the times our children are in. Hope you find Kieran's declaration and Lisa's devotion refreshing as I did.

*Interestingly my next devotion has been written on letting go our golden dream only to embrace the riches God has planned for us. The Parable of the Golden Ticket shows a parallel between Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and hopefully us as we relinquish our "golden ticket" only finding that what we gave up pales in comparison to what God has in store for us. We all want our children to be "A" students with awesome looks and style, superb athletic ability and a host of friends and admirers. Let us not cling to those hopes like we cling to the hope that they would LOVE LOVE LOVE Jesus.