Moms – Kristi Burden

Yes she thought that burgundy corduroy blazer with matching pants that she made you wear was cute.

She also really thought that school picture, the one where your teeth were almost as big as your head, was adorable. -Even more so as you have grown

She did cherish each paper that you brought home with your name on it-even the ones she stuffed deep down into the trash bag.

She really wanted to be your friend, but knew that you needed her to be your mother even more.

She really can smell vomit, even if she seems immune to its smell.

She had bad hair days, and days with no make-up, not because she didn't care what she looked like, but because she put your needs first.

She didn't always enjoy cooking, and she never enjoyed scrubbing toilets.

There were times that she let your room be messy or ignored that eye-roll and let you think you got away with it.

She never felt so much rage toward a person until you came along and someone did you wrong.

She never felt so much fear as the times she's had to let you go somewhere; without her there by your side.

Maybe, most importantly, she's never felt so much joy as the first time she held you, the first time you said "ma-ma" or the the time you gave your heart to Jesus.

She really cared more about how you were doing in school than she did about your grades.

Every contest you entered, she thought you should have won- even if she didn't tell you so.

She didn't care much for Mazzios pizza or watching Pippy Longstockings.

Your clothes didn't just "come clean" in the wash; she sometimes had to scrub them.

She never dreamed of being a taxi cab driver, but she didn't mind being yours.

She knew money didn't grow on trees, but sometimes she spent it on you selflessly for something she wanted you to have.

She hasn't shared EVERY embarrassing story about you.

Grounding you and sticking to it was not easy; spanking you wasn't either.

She's MORE proud of you than she lets you know; most of the time she's letting other people how proud she is of you.

Even though it seemed sometimes she wasn't listening, there were ten times those times that she was thinking only of you.

Even when you asked her to watch you do some cool trick, but she seemed distant, you must know that you were never NOT on her mind.

She cried tears for you that you never saw, smiled smiles too, prayed prayers on your behalf that you never heard, and felt butterflies too when you were doing something "big" like performing or driving or taking a big test.

Maybe she hasn't told you, but she wants you to know- that it's YOU, not any homemade or expensive present, that she counts as her greatest gift. And every day, not just Mother's Day, she counts it a blessing to call herself your mother.

For my mom, Gaye Fowler

Happy Mother's Day

and Happy Birthday May 14

Love you!

At a recent Mom’s prayer meeting we were praying for a couple of moms who were having difficulty getting their kiddos into the car-seat without a struggle. I remember those frustrating days. I also remember momentarily feeling some instant freedom when my children were out of car-seats and could buckle themselves in. But as I was praying with these moms I was overcome with sadness. My kids aren’t car-seat babies anymore. And while I don’t have to buckle them in, I CAN’T buckle them in anymore.

Hayden will be sixteen in six months. I won’t always be able to be in the car to tell him to slow down a little quicker when approaching an intersection. Soon when he is finding that special someone, I don’t get to tell him she’s not enough like me. Hallie recently shared a secret with a friend. When I asked her to share it with me she said NO! In the last couple of years some tears have been shed. I haven’t always been next to Hallie, tissue in hand, there to hug her. When Rylie is at school reading and she comes to a word she doesn’t know, I’m not there to sound the word out with her part by part. I have lunch with her at school every Monday while volunteering. Are they always going to let me do that? Is she always going to WANT me to do that? The awful part is, physically and later geographically, the distance will grow as time goes on.

I am thankful that even though my children are growing tall and independent, they still lavish me with hugs. Hayden still puts his arm around me at church. Rylie still crawls in our bed occasionally in the morning. Hallie, our most independent child, spends special girl time just with me once a week. And they all still sometimes hold my hand.

While in the car alone this evening, I heard a song. Instantly I thought of my children. There are times when they will face trials and feel alone. There have already been those times. There are times when I can’t be there; times I can’t fix it- I would if I could. There are times I’ve been the one to let them down. I am more than grateful that I have the blessed assurance that God IS there. The God who sees is with Hayden when he takes that frightening Math test. He is with Hallie when she sits alone. He is right beside Rylie in Sunday School as she is learning who he is.

I’m a little jealous that God sees and knows their every step. He has stolen their hearts, but how can I complain when he has given me eternity with him and with them. I pray that every day on this side of eternity this song would be the song of their heart:

Click here: all this time

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