I’ve been an Alan Jackson fan since the early nineties when I started High School. My sophomore year, a soon to be boyfriend won a much coveted autographed Alan Jackson sweatshirt. Much to the other girls’ jealousy he gave it to me. Though I knew little about Alan Jackson I became an instant fan. I grew up in the country listening to Johnny Cash, Tom T. Hall, and George Jones eight tracks with my dad. Those are some of my fondest memories. Songs about porches and pastures take me back to those simple days.
Though I grew to love many of Alan Jackson’s songs, this post is not about Alan Jackson. It’s about his wife, Denise. Several years ago I received her autobiography titled It’s All About Him. I love autobiographies, as I see them as an invitation to snoop; or put more politely an opportunity to climb inside one’s head to see how they view their life experiences.
Upon reading Denise’s autobiography I was in shock at how similar our life experiences were. She and Alan were High School sweethearts as Jason and I were. You can sense her admiration for her husband as she talks about his accomplishments early on in their relationship. She talks of standing proudly right behind him; gladly following him in his endeavors, willing to be merely his shadow.
A different part in her story comes when she shares darker years in her marriage. After separating, feeling lost and alone, she searched for something to fill the large void now apparently present. She started going back to her roots; back to her faith. Through a re-newed faith in Christ she began to put the broken pieces of her life back together. Filled with the presence of God she became someone quite vibrant, near unrecognizable to her husband who before had to glance behind his broad shoulders to glimpse her. She became the woman she feels God intended for her to be all along.
Though Jason and I have suffered no real difficulties in our marriage, it hasn’t been perfect—just as no marriage is. I, like Denise, have found myself looking to Jason to be my all in all. Though I am a Christian, I remember times when I completely put the burden on him to help me feel beautiful, secure, capable, and lovable; I could go on and on. I spent many years being emotionally high maintenance expecting him to constantly “fix-it”. Jason is an awesome husband. I’ve not been paid to say that. He is truly a wonderful man who supplies every need a husband is intended to fill. The problem was that I was looking for Jason to fill needs that only God is intended to fill. I believe I have grown stronger as I have better learned that Jesus is my all in all. Sure there’s still room for improvement so pray for me.
I would love to tell you the ending of the book, but I’ll give you the chance to read this two thumbs-up book for yourself. Are you someone who depends on the affirmation from others? Or do you find yourself living vicariously through your children or in the shadow of your husband? In those times remember this; “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty”. –Psalm 91:1 After all, it’s in His shadow that we glow most brightly!
I’m sure you can find It’s All about Him at any bookstore. You can also check it out at