Tag Archives: girls

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          Have you ever made a pinky promise?  I know I have though I can’t remember the details.  I do remember however getting a necklace back in fifth grade from my first boyfriend that symbolized our promise to be boyfriend and girlfriend forever (or until he ruined it!).  The necklace was a gold circle that had my name on one side and his name “Brad” on the other.  On the “Kristi” side of the necklace there was a small rose arched above my name.  I lost that necklace shortly after I got it.  I was so embarrassed and upset that my sweet mom took me to Wal-Mart to have it replaced.  The only problem was they had a similar necklace, but not one with the gold rose. We had the necklace engraved  Kristi and Brad just like the one I had lost.  The funny thing is I had to be super careful at school to always make sure the necklace stayed on the Brad side because when it turned to the Kristi side there was no gold rose.  Brad could never know I had lost the token of our promise .  I didn’t have to do this for long.  A couple of weeks later I tripped and fell at school.  Not only did Brad laugh the loudest,  there was no offer to help me up.  That was the end of that.   So much for true love.

     Hallie and I were shopping at Claire’s recently.  They had the cutest friendship jewelry including a monkey and  banana necklace pair.  Since the beginning of time people have used symbols ranging from handshakes and contracts to represent  and qualify promises.  Promises to stay friends, keep secrets, pay someone what you owe them and promises to stay committed forever.  Though most promises are made with the intention to be kept, they are often broken.

   I made a google search  on pinky promises.  I knew that a pinky promise is made by intertwining pinkies.  As your pinkies are joined together you make a promise.  It could be a promise  to stay friends forever or a promise to never reveal your friend’s secret crush.  Originally the punishment for breaking a pinky promise was cutting off your pinky.  Wonder if anyone followed through on that.  There’s something I need you to catch here girls!  A promise is really just a declaration of what you are going to do or what you are not going to do. We break promises everyday.  We change our mind.  Friends come and go.  Our lips slip and we let out that secret we were supposed to keep.

     Brad, giver of the gold necklace,  ended up being a nice guy.  I set him up with my good friend and they are still married to this day.  I have friends now that I’m pretty sure I let a secret or two of theirs slip.  I’m glad I still have my pinkies.  Even when friends disappoint or betray us, God is still faithful.  Every page of the bible is full of God’s promises to us.  I know this because what He declares, He does.  And beyond  offering his pinky to show he meant what he said, he gave his very life.  And that girls is more than a pinky promise!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

For I am the Lord; I change not.  Malachi 3:6

1.Have you ever broken a promise?

2.How have you felt when a promise made to you has been broken?

3.Are there times when you may not be able to keep your promise?

4.Is there someone we can trust to always do what they say?

5.Is there someone who is unchangeable?

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     As a young girl, we would travel to my Meme’s for the day.  When visiting after a good rain, the cousins and I would ask (we would usually ask) if we could step in a huge puddle in the driveway.  We usually were allowed probably because the adults wanted the kids out of the house.  You can probably guess that more happened than “stepping” in the puddle.  We would end up muddied from head to toe.

  You may not have had the same experience.  But I know that I have walked past countless puddles as a mom warning my children to “watch out for that puddle”.  Even with the warning, Rylie who obviously has bad eye sight hardly ever misses one.  Chances are you have muddied yourself by a few puddles or you’ve been splashed standing too close to someone else who found themselves unable to walk on muddied water. 

 Psalm  1

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

Or stand in the way of sinners

Or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord…

Whoa you may say!  How did that verse get stuck in here.  I think it goes perfectly.  Notice the verbs that are bolded in the first three lines.  1.walk  2.stand  3.sit  Listen to the following scenario and see what I mean.

Let’s say you’re in the cafeteria and you’re walking to dump your tray.  You notice some of your classmates huddled and laughing at something hysterically.  You stand near the huddle and find that they are reading a note they found where the new girl has written a boy asking him to be her boyfriend.  You know he would never go out with her.  Before you know it, you’re sitting  at the table wondering and discussing why the new girl would think she has a chance with the coolest guy in school.  You don’t  realize that your teacher is approaching until she snatches the note.  Bam!  You’ve been caught right in the middle of this mess.  Your name is mud.

Too many times, when we’re not careful who we’re hanging out with, we find ourselves doing things like gossiping or behaving in a way we never would have intended.   And even if you’re not saying a word, when conversations turn muddy, it’s hard to walk away.  This is why it’s important to choose our company wisely.  You see I never meant to get as muddy as I got at my meme’s house, but by choosing to even go near the puddle you could be sure I wouldn’t walk away clean.  God is telling us in the first Psalm that we would be “blessed” which means encouraged or happy if we do not walk around those who are choosing to act poorly.  He knows that if we are anywhere near those kind of people we will usually pull up a chair and get comfy with them.  He says at the end that those who do not walk, stand or sit with that kind of company have their delight in the law of the Lord.  Choose to delight in God’s word.  I remember delighting in the puddle with my cousins, but I remember being wet later on, especially if I hadn’t brought a change of clothes, was kind of miserable.   Pray that as you trust God and his word that he will help you find friends who steer clear of life’s puddles.

1.Think of an example of a puddle you have found yourself in (example lying to an adult because your friend wanted you to).

2.Have you ever found yourself inviting someone into a puddle with you?  An example of this would be asking a friend if they think the girl in dance class is rude and then sharing with your friend something rude you heard her saying.

3.Which does God warn us not to do:

-walk near those who are doing evil

-stand around them

-sit with them

-all of the above

4.What does God say our delight should be in?

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 Most likely you have played the part of friend and fowl.  You know what I’m talking about when I say you have played the part of friend, but you may be asking what do you mean by saying I have played the part of a fowl.   A fowl, if you’re unsure is a bird.  You may have been thinking of a foul as in foul ball.  You may have heard this word called out in a basketball or baseball game.  In this case, foul means to offend someone.  In baseball it means that the ball gone outside the bounds.  While we have each been a friend to many, we have also found ourselves acting as a bird brain offending and going outside the friend boundary line.  Let’s save the friend part for last and talk about birds.

     Have you ever heard of Adelie penguins?   There was at one time a popular you-tube video which shows the Adelie penguins in their acts of selfishness.  All of the birds crowd along the edge of the ice not knowing if danger lurks in the water.  So they push one of their own in the water.  If that penguin survives, they know it is safe to go in.  Not kidding girls! When faced with a vicious group of dogs, I read that the Adelie penguin will waddle up and even as the dogs lunge for the penguins they hang around.   Do you know girls who will push their own over the edge just to make sure it’s not themselves that falls?  Or maybe you’re the girl who will throw yourself to the wolves just because that’s where the action seems to be.

     A couple of years ago we had a hummingbird feeder on our front porch.  I was excited to see our first group of hummingbirds crowding around in no time.  I was not excited however to quickly learn how aggressive hummingbirds can be.  Those tiny birds have some big attitude.  They will seemingly choose certain birds to chase away while letting others feed with them.  We all know girls like this; girls who will only allow certain girls in their group.  While I watched one bird repeatedly return and get chased away I wanted to yell at the bird “Quit coming back to torture, go to another  feeder!”  I tried chasing away the aggressor, but realized that another bird would take its place. Though you wouldn’t want to say it out loud maybe you’ve secretly not wanted someone uncool hanging out with you.  And maybe some of us have even said or done something to make that person know that they’re not welcome in our group.  Possibly you have stood by silent when someone else has been shooed away.  You might be the girl who keeps coming back hoping that this time they will accept you.

 

     Chickens aren’t any better.  If you have been near a chicken coop you’ve heard them “clucking” at each other.  They have a “pecking order” in which the stronger chickens try to control the weaker birds. You’re getting the picture right? The book of Proverbs tells us that a “friend loves at all times”.  Though we have all acted foul, not like a friend God calls us to be above the birds.

      I did some research and found that in the eighties there was a super-hero named Bird-Brain who was part human and obviously part bird who could never quite find victory.  Bird-Brain’s creator made him and then sent him off where he doomed and defeated ended up on an island.  Thank goodness our creator has not abandoned us.  He knows our pain as we’ve been rejected.  And get this!  He knows the pain and incompleteness that causes us to sometimes be the one who acts foul.  He loves both friend and fowl but desires that as we face the choice everyday of who to be, that we choose to be a friend.

 

 

1.How have you been a friend?

 

2.How have you or someone you know been like one of the described birds?  (Remember not to use anyone’s name).

3.Have you ever felt like Bird-Brain?  If so, how?

4.How is our creator different from the one who created Bird Brain?

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Recently we were coming home from school talking about another “friend issue”.  This issue involved a friend of one of my children who had suddenly decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore.  This may have happened to you or you may have had a BFF(best friend forever) who out of nowhere started to ignore or avoid you like you had the plague.  When you’ve been de-friended it makes you wonder about this whole friend thing.

     This is why I love the Bible so.  Need examples of what it means to be a friend, open the word of God and the answer is in front of your face.  My favorite friend story comes from the book of Mark.  By the  second chapter of Mark, Jesus has been traveling, preaching and healing and then we find him home (maybe Peter’s home-we don’t know for sure). 

 He has drawn quite a crowd.  It says that there is no room even outside the door.  The story tells of four men carrying a paralyzed man.  If you have known of someone being paralyzed, you know that they are unable to walk and sometimes even move on their own. 

So when the men arrive to see Jesus and find that they are unable to get their friend through the crowd, disappointed they go home, right?  No!  Verse four tells us “since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on”.  Are you trying to picture this?  I’m wondering what the crowd thought. 

The people had been waiting to see Jesus and then these men have the nerve to force their way in.  And what about the house owner who probably didn’t have roof insurance;  these men were on a mission.  The best part of this story comes when it says that when Jesus saw THEIR faith the sins of the paralyzed man were forgiven; he was spiritually healed.  THEIR faith!  I want friends like that!

     Too many times we look out for ourselves.  These men were not thinking of themselves.  They saw a friend with a need and they were determined take him to Jesus. I know it couldn’t have been easy carrying this man onto the roof.  I can’t imagine the crowd being too happy. They risked being rejected.  Yet being a friend in action they selflessly carried on. 

 This man might have never known Jesus or the healing that comes on from him had it not been for these friends.  It was their action and their trust that lead to this man’s spiritual healing and after his physical healing. This man was able to walk home. 

 You probably come across people in your school every day that need a friend to carry them.  Not pick them up literally, but encourage them.  Point them to Jesus.  Sometimes this just means being like Jesus to someone who is in the dumps.  Many times people feel paralyzed and stuck.  They may have family problems,  or they’ve had a rough morning,  or maybe their friend has just dropped them like a hotcake.  I bet you know the feeling. 

Being a friend in action is where real friendships are made. Have FAITH that as you friend those in need that God will create friendships for you.  We all want the the status of being someone’s best friend.  Everybody wants the invite to the sleepover on Friday night.  But can you put your own interests aside?  Like the men we read about can you be an over the top friend?

 

  1. In a recent devotion, you read that “a friend loves at all times”.  Do you think this means we should only love those we call our friends or everyone?

(This verse is describing what kind of person a friend is.  It is someone who always loves.  I wonder if you could insert the word “Christian” in place of the word “friend”.)

 

  1. This man on the mat had two problems.  What were they?

 

  1.   Do you think it was easy to be this man’s friend?  Remember that much like today back then people with physical and mental handicaps were not accepted in society.

 

  1. Do you think it was easy to get him to Jesus?

 

  1. How can you be an over the top friend?

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I regularly talk to my children about smiling.  I try and remind them of the power of this most encouraging expression.  I've shared with several friends, of my attempt to inspire one of my children to smile.  Of course, I waited until my child ,whose name I won't mention, was in a rotten mood to bring up the importance of a smile.  I was challenged with the words, "Do you want me to lie?".  Confused, my child told me that if you're really not feeling happy, it's like a lie to smile.  So I said "Yes, you have my permission to lie in that case, I want you to smile".

Honestly, a smile is not meant for one's self.  My smile is not for me.  Likewise my look of displeasure holds no gain for myself.  How small to think that because my heart is not in the right condition, that I have the right to pain people around me with outward unpleasantness.  Our shared disenchantmant can spread quickly like a virus. I believe your countenance though, much through facial expression, is your wordless, effortless, free gift to those you encounter.

The wonderful thing about a smile is the fact that gracing someone with a grin often turns out to be a double blessing.

.A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.  -Proverbs 15:30

  It is when we look to grace someone else we are often distracted from our "heart condition"; forgetting our own complaint.  By our kind gesture, our anger or sadness many times melts leaving ample room for joy to fill our hearts.

 

 

So SMILE! 

 Your smile will either be a beautiful utterance of truth

or the best lie you'll ever tell!!

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You're the ONLY ONE  who can be you.

Don't miss out!

 Hallie, pictured above, is like no other.  It's one of the things I love about her the most.  Through the years much time has been spent in a distant land known as "Hallie World".  She made the rules, and not everybody was allowed to visit.

 There was also a time she started noticing a bit of hair on her legs.  She thought her neck was growing longer too. She was convinced she was turning into a horse.

For two years of her life she referred to herself as "White Kitty".  Many mornings she literally crawled out of bed,......and then kept on crawling.

 An individual creature for sure!

This is a picture of Hallie, Rylie and our fabulous friends Laurie and Ronique.

there's only one hallie

 rylie, there's no parallel

laurie you're matchless

ronique, you're it girl

 -4 sweet girls with much to share

Thank you God for our sames and differences.

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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

-Psalm 139:13-15a

Most everybody knows and LOVES this verse.  I know it has been used to advocate for the unborn; I’ve used it that way myself.  While it speaks to the life that begins in the womb, it speaks beyond.  I remember thinking initially when Hayden was born, that he was perfect.  Ten perfect toes.  Perfect fingers that immediately grasped mine. That misconception was quickly killed.  I’ll never forget our shock when Hayden had that first “welcome to parenting” tarry black diaper that spilled over the sides as Jason and I (yes both of us) attempted to change him.  Jason went immediately to get the nurse; he jokes now that he thought Hayden was broken.  With each of our much adored children, we have had constant reminders that they’re not perfect, but they’re straight from God who has created them uniquely and according to his plan.  And that we can’t forget.

 

Diagnoses increase every year; new disorders are identified all the time. One disorder, dyslexia, has gained recognition over the last fifteen years. I have had the privilege of identifying and teaching intervention to students with dyslexia.  I never had the dream of teaching dyslexia, but twelve years ago I had a precious student who struggled learning to read and write.  He had a persistent and heart-broken mother who would stop at nothing to help him.  In my inadequacy and in fear of this mama bear who was confronting the problem, I found myself searching for the cause of his struggle and for ways to help him.  I won’t lie.  That was a rough year.  I will say though, that working with students with dyslexia, and their parents, has become a true passion of mine.  I hope to always convey some reality to those struggling with dyslexia:

  It doesn’t identify who you are.

  Though there is difficulty involved, don’t ignore the beauty that comes along with a brain that is wired differently. 

People with dyslexia are usually extraordinarily creative.  Their giftedness is many times overlooked. These children are often persistent, ambitious, curious, imaginative, with excellent reasoning; the list goes on.  The same is so with other disorders.

Going even further, whether it's dylexia ,or another disorder, a noticeable birthmark or being extraordinarily tall- those who are viewed as dissimilar are at times rejected or even pitied.    They are viewed as a spectacle; or sometimes face feeling isolated and ignored.   The way people stare and what we imagine people are thinking can get the best of us.  Whether we are discreet and secretive of our child’s difference, or we are angry at the world demanding everyone accept our child for the way she is, or both- the simple but vital question remains.

Is the way we view our child’s difference, in light of God’s good and perfect word? 

I’ve come to dislike the word disorder. One of my children has been diagnosed twice with a disorder.  I want to be familiar with the struggles that may come along with that diagnosis, and with ways to help my child, but it will not overwhelm who my child is.  She has ADHD.  He has Aspergers.  He has Bipolar Disorder.   To say that a child has a disorder can insinuate there was a malfunction in his ordering or in his formation; like something went wrong.

When we say along with the Psalm, I am wonderfully made; does that just refer to our parts which seem normal or like everybody else?

When God says he “knit us together” and that our frame “was not hidden from {him}” do we believe that; do we know it “full well”?

We may wonder what we did wrong or didn’t do right.  Or we blame God.

 Could it possibly be, that we what we see as different or label a disorder, God sees as having beautiful purpose?

My children are so diverse.  Hallie has a large space bubble; only few are welcomed inside.  I think the first sentence we taught her was "I need my space".  Hayden, on the other hand, wants to touch EVERYTHING. I have his permission in telling you all of this. When he was younger, I had to watch to make sure he didn’t touch the cake at a wedding.  He wanted to touch other people’s food.  One time at HEB he ran his hand along a shelf of small potted plants sending them to the floor, spilling everywhere.  I’ve been embarrassed at times, and other times angry, like the time someone criticized his touching all the cookies saying he put his germs on them.

I remember a specific moment when we were checking out at Wal-Mart, not that many years ago.  As my purchases were being sacked, I noticed Hayden lifting up the conveyor belt and looking under it touching what was underneath.  The lady behind us stared.  But at that moment, I felt God whisper that it was ok.  I began to think that maybe God created him to touch.  I can’t recall how many times his hug or an awkward arm around my shoulder has reminded me that I am loved as his mother.   He’s crafted some meaningful, beautiful gift with those hands. I’ve come to a thankful place where I believe God uses that gift of touch. It was in his plan all along.  God will use those hands to touch lives.  Though those hands will not always find themselves in God’s will, I will commit them to God’s use-he's the one who designed them.

If you’re still reading, you are maybe thinking of someone you know who has faced rejection because they didn't look, act or perform similar to those around them. You probably love someone who has been diagnosed with a disorder. Along with disorders and distinct differences comes struggle, I understand this.  But diversity is divine.

The child with Cerebral palsy is not like the other children.  He is not even like the other children with Cerebral Palsy.

  He is the perfectly- woven- together creation of God; knitted in unique fashion.

If those around us are to see that all children are marvelously made, we need to believe it ourselves.  You have been called to be that parent.  You have been called to pray for that parent.

Let’s ask God to help us in our struggle, be thankful for our difference, and to truly see the beauty that was made in the secret place

 

Pictured above:  This is a picture I got to snap playing with some girls in an orphanage in Kenya-one of the BEST times of my life.

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Sweating is gross.  I don't do that.

-Words from Rylie when getting the kids from school Wednesday

 .  I wish it were that simple.  If only I could banish certain experiences and attitudes by deciding they were gross or undesirable.  I love her thinking.

Some things are just going to happen.  I'm going to sweat.  I'm going to have my occasional fails with my supper experiments.  I'm going to have bad hair days and the sinus infections will come and go.  No amount of determination and experience will rid me of these parts of life; I guess I can live with that.

Then there are those things I do-I choose to do, that I just can't seem to stop; that's a different story.  For instance, I choose to be grumpy.  Being sarcastic with my kids and Jason is a choice, I don't have to do that.  Watching unwholesome movies and shows on TV is a conscious decision, unlike sweating.  With each of these undesired behaviors I know, if not before, right when I'm doing it, that I shouldn't be doing it.  Why can't I stop?  Why do I even start?  I'm encouraged that Paul had the same problem.  Listen to him in Romans 7>

18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c]   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 

 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

We MUST come to a place daily, where we recognize that there is no good in us apart from God.  Try as we may, we are a resevoir and conduit of sin.  When we continue to try and free ourself from the clutches of sin we find our effort fruitless and frustrated. The- "If at first you don't succeed -try, try again" mentality is like banging your head against a brick wall (nothing is accomplished and you're left feeling damaged).

I think the problem may be that we focus too much on what WE can and can't do on our own effort.

We have a sinful nature, and we're going to, for the remainder of our time on this side of eternity.  Our hope, and any good that we can do comes only from Jesus.  His death on the cross was enough.  He said "it is finished".  He meant it. It's obviously good to try and refrain from wrongdoing. There is merit in trying to do good. But REMEMBER, trying to do good apart from a relationship with God is in vain.

 

Our effort must dissolve into a passion to know Christ more fully.  His grace covers our failures.  His goodness flows through our veins. 

 If we make Him our true focus, we have nothing to sweat.

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   Track season is just finishing up.  Track was not my favorite sport back in my school days, but in a small school everyone is encouraged to participate.  As an eighty-something pound seventh grader I was signed up to throw shot put and discus. The only logic I can see in my coach placing me in those events was that I couldn't jump. That left shot and disc and coaches like to make sure that all the name blanks are filled on event entry sheets.   I guess the coach always had the hope that my competition might get a sudden virus or that I might drop the shot-put on their toe rendering them unable to compete.

I also ran the two-mile, the mile, and the half mile. I can still feel the butterflies that took flight in my stomach as I positioned myself on the track. I can still hear the gun being fired signaling time for take off.    I. was. not.fast.   BUT, I had endurance.  I might have been called the Energizer Bunny if he had existed then.   I did pretty well considering how much I disliked it.  I guess I was running away from running.

I remember in practice, my coach gave me Velcro-bags to strap around my ankles. Maybe it was just on one occasion, but I thought getting to use the weight bags was the coolest.  The bags were full of pennies.  It provided weight around my ankles.  I was to run around the track once with the weight.  Then I was to take off the weight and run.  I remember running after taking off the weight.  It was amazing; almost difficult to keep my feet on the ground.  I was so light.  It felt like running had been made a thousand times easier.

I can’t imagine why coach let me use the ankle weight bags just that time or two.  I’m thankful though, as it provided the perfect example of the effect sin has.  It also showed the remedy. The lap I ran with the bags was treaterous.  About ten yards into my run, I was hurting and exhausted.  The weight not only pulled at my ankles, but my whole body wanted to dissolve into a puddle much like the witch in Oz who was doused with water.  Similarly, sin weighs us down.  I tend to lose things fairly often, but I keep an excellent record of my sin.  My own sin, combined with the sin around me is just too much to bear.  I told Hallie I would make her lunch, but I forgot.  I was sarcastic with Hayden again.  Where was my patience with Rylie?  I am so discouraged by injustice in the world; sin.  Heavily weighted by sin in my own heart, and sin all around me-  I don’t know if I’m being consumed from the inside-out or the outside-in.

Thankfully, Paul has a pertintent word.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus…..-Hebrews 12:1,2

Being weighed down in sin is actually a blessing.  I never felt so light, so able to run the race set before me until the weight was unbearable and then removed.  The weight of sin was bore on calvary.  We can add as much weight as we want to our running bags, trying to do life on our own strength.  And we can run much more than a lap if we so desire. But it is when we throw off the weight, casting it to the cross, that we are able to really run the race.  Running with perserverance means that we have to be persistent, steadfast.  We must constantly “cast off”.

Daily life is both practice and the real race.  We have cheering fans in the stand, the men and women mentioned in Hebrews and Christian brothers and sisters with us now.  They are urging us to run unburdened and unhindered.  Weightless, by faith that Jesus has endured it all, let us run.  Let us run before those cheering witnesses with our eyes on Jesus, who is both with us and waiting for us at the finish line.

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I’ve been an Alan Jackson fan since the early nineties when I started High School. My sophomore year, a soon to be boyfriend won a much coveted autographed Alan Jackson sweatshirt. Much to the other girls’ jealousy he gave it to me. Though I knew little about Alan Jackson I became an instant fan. I grew up in the country listening to Johnny Cash, Tom T. Hall, and George Jones eight tracks with my dad. Those are some of my fondest memories. Songs about porches and pastures take me back to those simple days.

Though I grew to love many of Alan Jackson’s songs, this post is not about Alan Jackson. It’s about his wife, Denise. Several years ago I received her autobiography titled It’s All About Him. I love autobiographies, as I see them as an invitation to snoop; or put more politely an opportunity to climb inside one’s head to see how they view their life experiences.

Upon reading Denise’s autobiography I was in shock at how similar our life experiences were. She and Alan were High School sweethearts as Jason and I were. You can sense her admiration for her husband as she talks about his accomplishments early on in their relationship. She talks of standing proudly right behind him; gladly following him in his endeavors, willing to be merely his shadow.

A different part in her story comes when she shares darker years in her marriage. After separating, feeling lost and alone, she searched for something to fill the large void now apparently present. She started going back to her roots; back to her faith. Through a re-newed faith in Christ she began to put the broken pieces of her life back together. Filled with the presence of God she became someone quite vibrant, near unrecognizable to her husband who before had to glance behind his broad shoulders to glimpse her. She became the woman she feels God intended for her to be all along.

Though Jason and I have suffered no real difficulties in our marriage, it hasn’t been perfect—just as no marriage is. I, like Denise, have found myself looking to Jason to be my all in all. Though I am a Christian, I remember times when I completely put the burden on him to help me feel beautiful, secure, capable, and lovable; I could go on and on. I spent many years being emotionally high maintenance expecting him to constantly “fix-it”. Jason is an awesome husband. I’ve not been paid to say that. He is truly a wonderful man who supplies every need a husband is intended to fill. The problem was that I was looking for Jason to fill needs that only God is intended to fill. I believe I have grown stronger as I have better learned that Jesus is my all in all. Sure there’s still room for improvement so pray for me.

I would love to tell you the ending of the book, but I’ll give you the chance to read this two thumbs-up book for yourself. Are you someone who depends on the affirmation from others? Or do you find yourself living vicariously through your children or in the shadow of your husband? In those times remember this; “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty”. –Psalm 91:1 After all, it’s in His shadow that we glow most brightly!

I’m sure you can find It’s All about Him at any bookstore. You can also check it out at

www.amazon.com