Monthly Archives: July 2012

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This morning I stood in the aisle of HEB for what stood like an eternity and stared.  I thought long and hard on what might make or break dinner for our old friends who are coming to visit;  salad dressing.

The choices are endless.

I love a good vinaigrette, that's easy.   But then you have balsamic-creamy or not, raspberry, honey pear?, poppy-seed, .....trust me I could keep going.  And these are just vinaigrette choices.  No telling how many versions and brands of Ranch dressing there are.  If you're an indecisive person like me, shopping can be overwhelming.

If I could transport my air-conditioner and i-phone, and of course my loved-ones, I think I would happily go back to the mid 1800s.  I might live in Walnut Grove like the Ingalls of "The Little House on the Prairie". I would shop at the Olson's Mercantile after easily getting dressed, slipping on one of the two dresses I owned.

I long for simplicity.

I yearn to be decisive.

I've gotten the same flavor sno cone for years-Tiger's Blood (except for the two times I went out on a limb and got Cajun Red Hot). I do this because I don't want to have to think about what flavor I want.

(see sno cone flavors right)

This problem of superfluous choices exists with more than food. Yes!  There are far more important choices that are difficult to make.

What music do I allow my children to listen to.

What do I allow them to wear.                                                                                     

Do I take my kid to the doctor.

Should Rylie continue allergy shots.

Recently it has become a more important question-What movies and books will I choose or decline.

How do I/when do I discipline my children?

What activities and chores do I force my children to do and where can I be flexible.

For every decision there is to be made, there are a hundred opinions.  I can consult Yahoo, Google, Ask Jeeves.... I can ask my neighbor, my friend.  I can buy a book from Barnes and Noble. And  I can do what I often do and just consider popular opinion.

Why am I guilty of caving to popular opinion?  (the opinion that says kids should be allowed to listen to whatever music and wear whatever clothes they want)

Why do I rush to Google? How many times have I read on Google that my symptoms or my children's symptoms indicate death is imminent?

Then there are the times that I'm asked questions by friends or family.  Too often I hastily give an answer ("Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge"....God says)

Today both at HEB and at the Sno cone stand I had to repeat a word to myself. It's a word I repeat to my children more times than I can count.

Focus.

Focus. Focus.

There is an answer.  Wait for it.... Pray for it....There is a good choice; a good decision found in a single source.

I'm going back to simple.

The words of a man's mouth are deep waters, but the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.  Proverbs 18:4

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. 1 Corinthians 1:25

By the way, I bought the balsamic vinaigrette again.

I'm sticking with the tried and true!

 

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Because of wonderful, crazy busy summer

Our Friday night movie at the Franklin's is being postponed.  Bad news, I know.

The busy, busy, busyness  has taken over , but we have an idea.

Let's get back together when August gets here. It will be a Back-to-School Bash of sorts.

Hope you all make it to VBS.  I'll be looking for you there.  We should have a date for our next get-together by then.  We can also spread the word about our GG's group to other girls who don't know about it yet.  -Sure am missin' y'all!

Here are a couple of Summer Fun pictures of Hallie and the family.

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Last night as I climbed the steps to turn in for the night I checked in on the kids one more time.  As I came in Rylie's room I was greeted by usual delight in encountering another one of her creations.  I didn't know until she explained this morning, but her room had been made into a spa.

Her stuffed pig was made-over with a cat mask and a blue hair extension.  The pig's look was completed with a tiara. 

Rylie was sacked out, but not before giving herself a proper make-over.  In her tiny, stuffy room she was wearing a furry robe.  As I was trying to take her robe, I noticed two damp wash cloths that were tied to her with a hair ribbon.  I know,....what?

You could tell though, even in her sleep, that she felt stunning. I'm sure she won't always feel that way.

The truth is, her get-up really made her no less, no more beautiful.  But I tarried in her room and smiled at her effort; an effort that is unnecessary.

She's beautiful.  And so is Hallie.  Not because of a do it yourself make-over or the perfect outfit.  Beauty has nothing to do with having every hair in place or having a full head of hair.  It has nothing to do with your pant size, your eyebrow shape or how many blemishes, crinkles or wrinkles have been added . Beauty IS, regardless of whether your teeth are missing, crooked, or too large for your face.

Countless hours, dollars and even tears are spent in the pursuit of beauty.

I'm not saying, that fixing up is a bad thing.  I love a new outfit and a fresh shade of lipstick as much as the next girl.

It's just that as I watched Rylie sleeping with her hair piled in a mess with a slight red mustache from the drink she'd had earlier, I thought about how little she has to do with her beauty. Her beauty treatments and even the big bows I put in her hair are little addition to the beauty that was created "in the secret place".  And honestly, the dirt and imperfections that often times try to define us are smaller than we think.

We would all do better by remembering we have a BIG God who had and has all the beauty secrets a girl could ever need.

Go ahead and play dress-up, I know I will too.  But remember that beauty, the kind that reaches beyond tiaras and lipstick can't be bought or even created.

Beauty is found, not in looking at one self, not in "fixing" one self.  It is found by looking to Him, the ultimate designer-the beautiful one.

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. 

Psalm 34:5

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What a week; a week filled with thrilling rides, with Mickey and Minnie, good food, belly laughs,...

...and holding hands.

Disney World provided castles, fireworks, pixie dust- and rides which took you into a cave with swashbuckling pirates and on an encounter to Mt. Everest with the fearsome Yeti.

Yet nothing was as thrilling as the "togetherness" this past week.

Thankfully Rylie is just six and still loves to hold my hand and sit in my lap.  But if you remember, Hayden is almost sixteen.  He's an affectionate kid, but his affection is sporadic.  Hallie is eleven going on sixteen.  Holding my hand or Jason's hand is no longer a common occurrence.  With Hallie who now claims claustrophobia, holding my hand would be considered a rarity.

But hand holding and togetherness went on.

All week.

We stayed together because we were in unfamiliar territory. We linked arms so we wouldn't get lost.  We held hands as we didn't want to be separated in the masses. We walked in close proximity in the darkness that followed the night-time fireworks spectacular.

And there were times that we stayed close....... get this,..... just because we were enjoying each other.

In the midst of magic and madness, we were simply together.

Surely God feels the same.  He is with us every day, at the dinner table and in the car.   He is with us when we rise and when we slumber.  He walks with us in the mundane.  And he waits.

He longs for us to link arms with him as we board life's roller coasters with its twists and sudden drops. He wants us to hold tight to him in the crowd that so often blinds our view of him.

And when our hearts are spilling over with joy at the knowledge that life is good- God is good, maybe then most of all, he wants us to hold his hand.

..... do you think that the scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? James 4:5a

 

 

 

 

 

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          Have you ever made a pinky promise?  I know I have though I can’t remember the details.  I do remember however getting a necklace back in fifth grade from my first boyfriend that symbolized our promise to be boyfriend and girlfriend forever (or until he ruined it!).  The necklace was a gold circle that had my name on one side and his name “Brad” on the other.  On the “Kristi” side of the necklace there was a small rose arched above my name.  I lost that necklace shortly after I got it.  I was so embarrassed and upset that my sweet mom took me to Wal-Mart to have it replaced.  The only problem was they had a similar necklace, but not one with the gold rose. We had the necklace engraved  Kristi and Brad just like the one I had lost.  The funny thing is I had to be super careful at school to always make sure the necklace stayed on the Brad side because when it turned to the Kristi side there was no gold rose.  Brad could never know I had lost the token of our promise .  I didn’t have to do this for long.  A couple of weeks later I tripped and fell at school.  Not only did Brad laugh the loudest,  there was no offer to help me up.  That was the end of that.   So much for true love.

     Hallie and I were shopping at Claire’s recently.  They had the cutest friendship jewelry including a monkey and  banana necklace pair.  Since the beginning of time people have used symbols ranging from handshakes and contracts to represent  and qualify promises.  Promises to stay friends, keep secrets, pay someone what you owe them and promises to stay committed forever.  Though most promises are made with the intention to be kept, they are often broken.

   I made a google search  on pinky promises.  I knew that a pinky promise is made by intertwining pinkies.  As your pinkies are joined together you make a promise.  It could be a promise  to stay friends forever or a promise to never reveal your friend’s secret crush.  Originally the punishment for breaking a pinky promise was cutting off your pinky.  Wonder if anyone followed through on that.  There’s something I need you to catch here girls!  A promise is really just a declaration of what you are going to do or what you are not going to do. We break promises everyday.  We change our mind.  Friends come and go.  Our lips slip and we let out that secret we were supposed to keep.

     Brad, giver of the gold necklace,  ended up being a nice guy.  I set him up with my good friend and they are still married to this day.  I have friends now that I’m pretty sure I let a secret or two of theirs slip.  I’m glad I still have my pinkies.  Even when friends disappoint or betray us, God is still faithful.  Every page of the bible is full of God’s promises to us.  I know this because what He declares, He does.  And beyond  offering his pinky to show he meant what he said, he gave his very life.  And that girls is more than a pinky promise!

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.  James 1:17

For I am the Lord; I change not.  Malachi 3:6

1.Have you ever broken a promise?

2.How have you felt when a promise made to you has been broken?

3.Are there times when you may not be able to keep your promise?

4.Is there someone we can trust to always do what they say?

5.Is there someone who is unchangeable?

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10 Things will Forever impress me about my Dad

10 How wise he is

9 His Eagle scar  (from being burned) on top of his hand that never fades

8 His coin collection

7 His knowledge of the bible

6 How he many hours he works a week

5 How strong he is (both physically and spiritually)

4 His train whistle sound (made only with his hands)

3 His old stories and his recollection of Tom T Hall songs and other old goodies

2 How many miles he's gone

1 How I got so lucky as to be his daughter

Happy birthday to my dad!

 

 

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     As a young girl, we would travel to my Meme’s for the day.  When visiting after a good rain, the cousins and I would ask (we would usually ask) if we could step in a huge puddle in the driveway.  We usually were allowed probably because the adults wanted the kids out of the house.  You can probably guess that more happened than “stepping” in the puddle.  We would end up muddied from head to toe.

  You may not have had the same experience.  But I know that I have walked past countless puddles as a mom warning my children to “watch out for that puddle”.  Even with the warning, Rylie who obviously has bad eye sight hardly ever misses one.  Chances are you have muddied yourself by a few puddles or you’ve been splashed standing too close to someone else who found themselves unable to walk on muddied water. 

 Psalm  1

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

Or stand in the way of sinners

Or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord…

Whoa you may say!  How did that verse get stuck in here.  I think it goes perfectly.  Notice the verbs that are bolded in the first three lines.  1.walk  2.stand  3.sit  Listen to the following scenario and see what I mean.

Let’s say you’re in the cafeteria and you’re walking to dump your tray.  You notice some of your classmates huddled and laughing at something hysterically.  You stand near the huddle and find that they are reading a note they found where the new girl has written a boy asking him to be her boyfriend.  You know he would never go out with her.  Before you know it, you’re sitting  at the table wondering and discussing why the new girl would think she has a chance with the coolest guy in school.  You don’t  realize that your teacher is approaching until she snatches the note.  Bam!  You’ve been caught right in the middle of this mess.  Your name is mud.

Too many times, when we’re not careful who we’re hanging out with, we find ourselves doing things like gossiping or behaving in a way we never would have intended.   And even if you’re not saying a word, when conversations turn muddy, it’s hard to walk away.  This is why it’s important to choose our company wisely.  You see I never meant to get as muddy as I got at my meme’s house, but by choosing to even go near the puddle you could be sure I wouldn’t walk away clean.  God is telling us in the first Psalm that we would be “blessed” which means encouraged or happy if we do not walk around those who are choosing to act poorly.  He knows that if we are anywhere near those kind of people we will usually pull up a chair and get comfy with them.  He says at the end that those who do not walk, stand or sit with that kind of company have their delight in the law of the Lord.  Choose to delight in God’s word.  I remember delighting in the puddle with my cousins, but I remember being wet later on, especially if I hadn’t brought a change of clothes, was kind of miserable.   Pray that as you trust God and his word that he will help you find friends who steer clear of life’s puddles.

1.Think of an example of a puddle you have found yourself in (example lying to an adult because your friend wanted you to).

2.Have you ever found yourself inviting someone into a puddle with you?  An example of this would be asking a friend if they think the girl in dance class is rude and then sharing with your friend something rude you heard her saying.

3.Which does God warn us not to do:

-walk near those who are doing evil

-stand around them

-sit with them

-all of the above

4.What does God say our delight should be in?

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 Most likely you have played the part of friend and fowl.  You know what I’m talking about when I say you have played the part of friend, but you may be asking what do you mean by saying I have played the part of a fowl.   A fowl, if you’re unsure is a bird.  You may have been thinking of a foul as in foul ball.  You may have heard this word called out in a basketball or baseball game.  In this case, foul means to offend someone.  In baseball it means that the ball gone outside the bounds.  While we have each been a friend to many, we have also found ourselves acting as a bird brain offending and going outside the friend boundary line.  Let’s save the friend part for last and talk about birds.

     Have you ever heard of Adelie penguins?   There was at one time a popular you-tube video which shows the Adelie penguins in their acts of selfishness.  All of the birds crowd along the edge of the ice not knowing if danger lurks in the water.  So they push one of their own in the water.  If that penguin survives, they know it is safe to go in.  Not kidding girls! When faced with a vicious group of dogs, I read that the Adelie penguin will waddle up and even as the dogs lunge for the penguins they hang around.   Do you know girls who will push their own over the edge just to make sure it’s not themselves that falls?  Or maybe you’re the girl who will throw yourself to the wolves just because that’s where the action seems to be.

     A couple of years ago we had a hummingbird feeder on our front porch.  I was excited to see our first group of hummingbirds crowding around in no time.  I was not excited however to quickly learn how aggressive hummingbirds can be.  Those tiny birds have some big attitude.  They will seemingly choose certain birds to chase away while letting others feed with them.  We all know girls like this; girls who will only allow certain girls in their group.  While I watched one bird repeatedly return and get chased away I wanted to yell at the bird “Quit coming back to torture, go to another  feeder!”  I tried chasing away the aggressor, but realized that another bird would take its place. Though you wouldn’t want to say it out loud maybe you’ve secretly not wanted someone uncool hanging out with you.  And maybe some of us have even said or done something to make that person know that they’re not welcome in our group.  Possibly you have stood by silent when someone else has been shooed away.  You might be the girl who keeps coming back hoping that this time they will accept you.

 

     Chickens aren’t any better.  If you have been near a chicken coop you’ve heard them “clucking” at each other.  They have a “pecking order” in which the stronger chickens try to control the weaker birds. You’re getting the picture right? The book of Proverbs tells us that a “friend loves at all times”.  Though we have all acted foul, not like a friend God calls us to be above the birds.

      I did some research and found that in the eighties there was a super-hero named Bird-Brain who was part human and obviously part bird who could never quite find victory.  Bird-Brain’s creator made him and then sent him off where he doomed and defeated ended up on an island.  Thank goodness our creator has not abandoned us.  He knows our pain as we’ve been rejected.  And get this!  He knows the pain and incompleteness that causes us to sometimes be the one who acts foul.  He loves both friend and fowl but desires that as we face the choice everyday of who to be, that we choose to be a friend.

 

 

1.How have you been a friend?

 

2.How have you or someone you know been like one of the described birds?  (Remember not to use anyone’s name).

3.Have you ever felt like Bird-Brain?  If so, how?

4.How is our creator different from the one who created Bird Brain?

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Recently we were coming home from school talking about another “friend issue”.  This issue involved a friend of one of my children who had suddenly decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore.  This may have happened to you or you may have had a BFF(best friend forever) who out of nowhere started to ignore or avoid you like you had the plague.  When you’ve been de-friended it makes you wonder about this whole friend thing.

     This is why I love the Bible so.  Need examples of what it means to be a friend, open the word of God and the answer is in front of your face.  My favorite friend story comes from the book of Mark.  By the  second chapter of Mark, Jesus has been traveling, preaching and healing and then we find him home (maybe Peter’s home-we don’t know for sure). 

 He has drawn quite a crowd.  It says that there is no room even outside the door.  The story tells of four men carrying a paralyzed man.  If you have known of someone being paralyzed, you know that they are unable to walk and sometimes even move on their own. 

So when the men arrive to see Jesus and find that they are unable to get their friend through the crowd, disappointed they go home, right?  No!  Verse four tells us “since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on”.  Are you trying to picture this?  I’m wondering what the crowd thought. 

The people had been waiting to see Jesus and then these men have the nerve to force their way in.  And what about the house owner who probably didn’t have roof insurance;  these men were on a mission.  The best part of this story comes when it says that when Jesus saw THEIR faith the sins of the paralyzed man were forgiven; he was spiritually healed.  THEIR faith!  I want friends like that!

     Too many times we look out for ourselves.  These men were not thinking of themselves.  They saw a friend with a need and they were determined take him to Jesus. I know it couldn’t have been easy carrying this man onto the roof.  I can’t imagine the crowd being too happy. They risked being rejected.  Yet being a friend in action they selflessly carried on. 

 This man might have never known Jesus or the healing that comes on from him had it not been for these friends.  It was their action and their trust that lead to this man’s spiritual healing and after his physical healing. This man was able to walk home. 

 You probably come across people in your school every day that need a friend to carry them.  Not pick them up literally, but encourage them.  Point them to Jesus.  Sometimes this just means being like Jesus to someone who is in the dumps.  Many times people feel paralyzed and stuck.  They may have family problems,  or they’ve had a rough morning,  or maybe their friend has just dropped them like a hotcake.  I bet you know the feeling. 

Being a friend in action is where real friendships are made. Have FAITH that as you friend those in need that God will create friendships for you.  We all want the the status of being someone’s best friend.  Everybody wants the invite to the sleepover on Friday night.  But can you put your own interests aside?  Like the men we read about can you be an over the top friend?

 

  1. In a recent devotion, you read that “a friend loves at all times”.  Do you think this means we should only love those we call our friends or everyone?

(This verse is describing what kind of person a friend is.  It is someone who always loves.  I wonder if you could insert the word “Christian” in place of the word “friend”.)

 

  1. This man on the mat had two problems.  What were they?

 

  1.   Do you think it was easy to be this man’s friend?  Remember that much like today back then people with physical and mental handicaps were not accepted in society.

 

  1. Do you think it was easy to get him to Jesus?

 

  1. How can you be an over the top friend?

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For those of you who wonder how God's Girlies got started, I could tell you that it started on impulse, but we know God better than that.

  Hallie turned eleven in March.  I turned into a bigger worrier having come to a point that I didn't have an answer to every question. Besides she doesn't always want to hear what I have to say right now.  This happened with Hayden too, but I was ok with not understanding some things-boy related and relied heavily on Jason.

Relying and relating are necessary especially during transforming times.  Hallie is changing and maturing, but it's a transforming time for moms too.  I began to yearn for guidance and friendship. I wanted together-time for Hallie and myself.  I wanted a place for community amongst other moms and other girls.  Hallie needs to know that other girls experience insecurity and unkind treatment.  She needs to know there other moms that have high moral standards for their girls. As I talked with other moms I knew I wasn't alone.

  We decided to have a monthly gathering of preteen girls and moms and grandmas.  Other ladies have joined us (moms of boys and college and high school age girls).  My heart smiles with joy as we have a growing community of girls ages 6 to ?

Out of this community has sprung an online community too.  Girls from other US states as well as Europe and Canada have joined us.  We are moms, daughters, grandmas, sisters and friends with a common father; a father who I believe smiles as we come together in his name.

Email your post or questions to kristiburden@gmail.com