Tag Archives: mean girls

•

 

     As a young girl, we would travel to my Meme’s for the day.  When visiting after a good rain, the cousins and I would ask (we would usually ask) if we could step in a huge puddle in the driveway.  We usually were allowed probably because the adults wanted the kids out of the house.  You can probably guess that more happened than “stepping” in the puddle.  We would end up muddied from head to toe.

  You may not have had the same experience.  But I know that I have walked past countless puddles as a mom warning my children to “watch out for that puddle”.  Even with the warning, Rylie who obviously has bad eye sight hardly ever misses one.  Chances are you have muddied yourself by a few puddles or you’ve been splashed standing too close to someone else who found themselves unable to walk on muddied water. 

 Psalm  1

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

Or stand in the way of sinners

Or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord…

Whoa you may say!  How did that verse get stuck in here.  I think it goes perfectly.  Notice the verbs that are bolded in the first three lines.  1.walk  2.stand  3.sit  Listen to the following scenario and see what I mean.

Let’s say you’re in the cafeteria and you’re walking to dump your tray.  You notice some of your classmates huddled and laughing at something hysterically.  You stand near the huddle and find that they are reading a note they found where the new girl has written a boy asking him to be her boyfriend.  You know he would never go out with her.  Before you know it, you’re sitting  at the table wondering and discussing why the new girl would think she has a chance with the coolest guy in school.  You don’t  realize that your teacher is approaching until she snatches the note.  Bam!  You’ve been caught right in the middle of this mess.  Your name is mud.

Too many times, when we’re not careful who we’re hanging out with, we find ourselves doing things like gossiping or behaving in a way we never would have intended.   And even if you’re not saying a word, when conversations turn muddy, it’s hard to walk away.  This is why it’s important to choose our company wisely.  You see I never meant to get as muddy as I got at my meme’s house, but by choosing to even go near the puddle you could be sure I wouldn’t walk away clean.  God is telling us in the first Psalm that we would be “blessed” which means encouraged or happy if we do not walk around those who are choosing to act poorly.  He knows that if we are anywhere near those kind of people we will usually pull up a chair and get comfy with them.  He says at the end that those who do not walk, stand or sit with that kind of company have their delight in the law of the Lord.  Choose to delight in God’s word.  I remember delighting in the puddle with my cousins, but I remember being wet later on, especially if I hadn’t brought a change of clothes, was kind of miserable.   Pray that as you trust God and his word that he will help you find friends who steer clear of life’s puddles.

1.Think of an example of a puddle you have found yourself in (example lying to an adult because your friend wanted you to).

2.Have you ever found yourself inviting someone into a puddle with you?  An example of this would be asking a friend if they think the girl in dance class is rude and then sharing with your friend something rude you heard her saying.

3.Which does God warn us not to do:

-walk near those who are doing evil

-stand around them

-sit with them

-all of the above

4.What does God say our delight should be in?

•

 Most likely you have played the part of friend and fowl.  You know what I’m talking about when I say you have played the part of friend, but you may be asking what do you mean by saying I have played the part of a fowl.   A fowl, if you’re unsure is a bird.  You may have been thinking of a foul as in foul ball.  You may have heard this word called out in a basketball or baseball game.  In this case, foul means to offend someone.  In baseball it means that the ball gone outside the bounds.  While we have each been a friend to many, we have also found ourselves acting as a bird brain offending and going outside the friend boundary line.  Let’s save the friend part for last and talk about birds.

     Have you ever heard of Adelie penguins?   There was at one time a popular you-tube video which shows the Adelie penguins in their acts of selfishness.  All of the birds crowd along the edge of the ice not knowing if danger lurks in the water.  So they push one of their own in the water.  If that penguin survives, they know it is safe to go in.  Not kidding girls! When faced with a vicious group of dogs, I read that the Adelie penguin will waddle up and even as the dogs lunge for the penguins they hang around.   Do you know girls who will push their own over the edge just to make sure it’s not themselves that falls?  Or maybe you’re the girl who will throw yourself to the wolves just because that’s where the action seems to be.

     A couple of years ago we had a hummingbird feeder on our front porch.  I was excited to see our first group of hummingbirds crowding around in no time.  I was not excited however to quickly learn how aggressive hummingbirds can be.  Those tiny birds have some big attitude.  They will seemingly choose certain birds to chase away while letting others feed with them.  We all know girls like this; girls who will only allow certain girls in their group.  While I watched one bird repeatedly return and get chased away I wanted to yell at the bird “Quit coming back to torture, go to another  feeder!”  I tried chasing away the aggressor, but realized that another bird would take its place. Though you wouldn’t want to say it out loud maybe you’ve secretly not wanted someone uncool hanging out with you.  And maybe some of us have even said or done something to make that person know that they’re not welcome in our group.  Possibly you have stood by silent when someone else has been shooed away.  You might be the girl who keeps coming back hoping that this time they will accept you.

 

     Chickens aren’t any better.  If you have been near a chicken coop you’ve heard them “clucking” at each other.  They have a “pecking order” in which the stronger chickens try to control the weaker birds. You’re getting the picture right? The book of Proverbs tells us that a “friend loves at all times”.  Though we have all acted foul, not like a friend God calls us to be above the birds.

      I did some research and found that in the eighties there was a super-hero named Bird-Brain who was part human and obviously part bird who could never quite find victory.  Bird-Brain’s creator made him and then sent him off where he doomed and defeated ended up on an island.  Thank goodness our creator has not abandoned us.  He knows our pain as we’ve been rejected.  And get this!  He knows the pain and incompleteness that causes us to sometimes be the one who acts foul.  He loves both friend and fowl but desires that as we face the choice everyday of who to be, that we choose to be a friend.

 

 

1.How have you been a friend?

 

2.How have you or someone you know been like one of the described birds?  (Remember not to use anyone’s name).

3.Have you ever felt like Bird-Brain?  If so, how?

4.How is our creator different from the one who created Bird Brain?

•

 

Recently we were coming home from school talking about another “friend issue”.  This issue involved a friend of one of my children who had suddenly decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore.  This may have happened to you or you may have had a BFF(best friend forever) who out of nowhere started to ignore or avoid you like you had the plague.  When you’ve been de-friended it makes you wonder about this whole friend thing.

     This is why I love the Bible so.  Need examples of what it means to be a friend, open the word of God and the answer is in front of your face.  My favorite friend story comes from the book of Mark.  By the  second chapter of Mark, Jesus has been traveling, preaching and healing and then we find him home (maybe Peter’s home-we don’t know for sure). 

 He has drawn quite a crowd.  It says that there is no room even outside the door.  The story tells of four men carrying a paralyzed man.  If you have known of someone being paralyzed, you know that they are unable to walk and sometimes even move on their own. 

So when the men arrive to see Jesus and find that they are unable to get their friend through the crowd, disappointed they go home, right?  No!  Verse four tells us “since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on”.  Are you trying to picture this?  I’m wondering what the crowd thought. 

The people had been waiting to see Jesus and then these men have the nerve to force their way in.  And what about the house owner who probably didn’t have roof insurance;  these men were on a mission.  The best part of this story comes when it says that when Jesus saw THEIR faith the sins of the paralyzed man were forgiven; he was spiritually healed.  THEIR faith!  I want friends like that!

     Too many times we look out for ourselves.  These men were not thinking of themselves.  They saw a friend with a need and they were determined take him to Jesus. I know it couldn’t have been easy carrying this man onto the roof.  I can’t imagine the crowd being too happy. They risked being rejected.  Yet being a friend in action they selflessly carried on. 

 This man might have never known Jesus or the healing that comes on from him had it not been for these friends.  It was their action and their trust that lead to this man’s spiritual healing and after his physical healing. This man was able to walk home. 

 You probably come across people in your school every day that need a friend to carry them.  Not pick them up literally, but encourage them.  Point them to Jesus.  Sometimes this just means being like Jesus to someone who is in the dumps.  Many times people feel paralyzed and stuck.  They may have family problems,  or they’ve had a rough morning,  or maybe their friend has just dropped them like a hotcake.  I bet you know the feeling. 

Being a friend in action is where real friendships are made. Have FAITH that as you friend those in need that God will create friendships for you.  We all want the the status of being someone’s best friend.  Everybody wants the invite to the sleepover on Friday night.  But can you put your own interests aside?  Like the men we read about can you be an over the top friend?

 

  1. In a recent devotion, you read that “a friend loves at all times”.  Do you think this means we should only love those we call our friends or everyone?

(This verse is describing what kind of person a friend is.  It is someone who always loves.  I wonder if you could insert the word “Christian” in place of the word “friend”.)

 

  1. This man on the mat had two problems.  What were they?

 

  1.   Do you think it was easy to be this man’s friend?  Remember that much like today back then people with physical and mental handicaps were not accepted in society.

 

  1. Do you think it was easy to get him to Jesus?

 

  1. How can you be an over the top friend?