Tag Archives: gods girlies

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"When did you tell me that?  I didn't hear you say that."

"I told you three times the other night."

"Well, I didn't think you were serious."

"So you did hear me."

"I might remember something about it, but I'm remembering it differently than you do."

What an awkward conversation.

Conversations similar to this have repeated themselves across our 17 years together. I never set out to ignore or to contradict or to undermine, but it sure has come across that way at times.

It's a terrible feeling when we have hurt the one who is closest to our heart.

Yes. This is how a conversation went after Rylie's graduation that Jason and I attended with one car.

Jason: I'm going to go ahead and take the two big kids.

Me: Ok. The car is parked on the street by the two-story house on the corner.

Jason: Ok.

Me: (Looking for the keys-He waits for me to find them then starts walking

without the keys) Where are you going?

Jason: Home.

Me :But I have the keys.

Jason: Ok.

Me: How are you going in the car without the keys?

Jason: I'm not.

Me: Then what are you doing?

Jason: We're walking.

Me:Why didn't you just tell me that when I was telling you where the car was parked and while I was looking for the keys?........

Our conversations, or lack thereof, can be frustrating and disconnecting. We sometimes remind me of oil and vinegar; a vinaigrette.  I love a good vinaigrette on my salad.  I occasionally make it at home for our salad. Though oil and vinegar go wonderfully together, the two ingredients have to be briskly whisked by a strong hand. And to keep the vinaigrette from tasting too tart, you have to keep whisking.

Communication can be a big source of frustrations in a marriage.  There are times that we are just not on the same page. It doesn't happen often, but it happens often enough to make me want to try to avoid it in the future.

One problem lies in the fact that men and women think differently.  We approach our world from different perspectives.  It is difficult to put yourself in the place of another.  You cannot listen well without trying to understand the other person from their vantage point.

Sometimes the frustration is compounded by assumptions we make.  In the conversation above I was assuming Kristi knew certain things, Kristi assumed I was going to do certain things, and you can assume that we broke from that conversation thinking the other was goofy.

We heard one another's words, but we were not listening from the perspective of the other.  I think putting yourself in the place of the other is the key to great communication.  If we are going to have great communication we need to be mindful to share more with each other than just the facts.  When we communicate feelings and ambitions and goals we are giving our partner a better foundation to be able to listen to us from.

Assumptions are easily and often wrongfully made when we we're not deeply invested in the conversation.  At Rylie's graduation, we were busy.  Many times I'm rattling off, telling Jason things he could care less about.  I approach him some times when he is exhausted. There are probably days he is wary to approach me at all. As different as we are, God is helping us gain a knowledge of what it means to listen and respect one another. Now if we could just be faithful in exercising that knowledge. Oil and vinegar. Thankful for a mighty hand that binds two hearts together that otherwise would have less savor on their own.

Do you have similar stories of miscommunication/ or lack of communication?

Our conversation was compared to oil and vinegar.  What would you compare

your conversations to?

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My in-laws brought fresh tomatoes with them this past weekend.  Fresh tomatoes plus salt makes for one happy girl.  I can't believe I spent the first eighteen years of my life unaware of their tasty goodness.  Jason feels the same way about coconut pies.  And he tells everyone.  He received thirty-something coconut pies from our sweet church family one birthday not so long ago.  So shamelessly I decided to tell the world that I love tomatoes hoping that some sweet local gardener might get the hint and share one, or ten of those red beauties with me.

Hayden shared a fun story with me last week.

Every semester, I believe Philpott Motors gives away a car to one lucky student with perfect attendance.  With all the students crowded into the auditorium, questions are asked to all students.  Those students with answers that apply are allowed to keep standing.  When those hundreds of kids standing are narrowed down, remaining students are allowed onto the stage.  Hayden got to be one of those kids. The question was asked, "Who of you have the same name as the name of a place" to which Hayden answered into the microphone "Hayden Valley, Wyoming".  I so enjoyed hearing him tell the story.  I think he had the best time making it to the stage, and then getting to speak into the microphone.

Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8

Jason doesn't like tomatoes.  He's tried them.

Hayden didn't win that car.  But there's something about having been able to get on the stage. It must have been exciting to get one step closer to that car than those who had to sit on the floor seats below.  I wonder how it felt for Trevor, who won the car, to be handed those keys.

I know one thing.  As good as a room temperature salted tomato tastes to me, and as good as a cold coconut pie tastes to Jason, there is nothing compared to the goodness of the Lord.  Winning a car has to be exhilarating, but the newness will fade.

We can take a step closer to the Lord leading to ever-increasing glory in our lives, though likely there will be steps back too.  But as we proceed into His presence we will see that He is very good.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; you won't be disappointed! 

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This past Sunday, God's Girlies met, focusing on loving God through loving our neighbors.  Summertime presents the perfect opportunity to do just that as we tend to bend from our schedules a bit.  The days are longer.  We may do some traveling, but whatever our schedule we seem to have more contact with people.  So God's Girlies made a craft that will aid them in their reaching out and encouraging a neighbor,... or twenty.

I have to confess my admiration for Jeanne and Krista Bergeron.  They do crafts.  And when I say they do crafts, THEY DO CRAFTS.  They make it look easy.  They make it look fun.  And the finished product is always adorable.  Is it admiration or jealousy, I'm not sure.

 

Here's what they did:

They had the girls make a cute cloth pouch with a fabric piece. They glued and vel-croed the cloth to fasten it in envelope fashion.

The girls decorated the pouch with spangles, ribbon etc.

Small cards were made possibly using Google or Yahoo images.  The images were printed on card stock and cut-out to be placed in the pouch. Hallie's cards included verses, sweet sayings, jokes and cute pictures.  Be creative.

Application Idea:

Jesus says in Matthew 25- Whatever you have done for the least of these brothers of mine, you have also done unto me

 Loving the least of these may refer to loving those hard to love, those we're not familiar with, or those in need. Neighbors are those who are in our proximity and those we have encountered in the past.  Encouraging these neighbors in Jesus' name gives glory to our Savior.

These mini cards can be given to a neighbor down the street, the boy at the sno-cone stand, a cashier at Target or an elderly lady at a nursing home.  A card and a smile brings a bit more of Jesus to the world.  And it sends a bit of love to Jesus too.

 

 

 

Jason’s dad turned sixty this month.  Neatie, my mother-n-law is now retired.  Rylie graduates from Kindergarten this week.  Hayden likes three days finishing a successful first year of High School.  Hallie received an award for her DARE (drug awareness) essay this past week. We will very soon celebrate our first anniversary of being here in Nederland. We have many reasons to celebrate.  So today, as we were able to spend some time together outdoors, we gave the kids a puzzle to put together that had a message on it with some exciting news.

Jason and I have been talking with his parents, secretly planning a fun summer vacation that would enable us to appropriately celebrate these great occasions.  As Neatie and I have talked on the phone about our trip which will take place in July; my mind began to buzz.  A bit of my mom in me sprang into action.  I began to plan.  I would buy a book to get as much information as possible about our destination.  I have texted and talked with friends who have been there before.  I want to know exactly what to expect.

I want to be prepared.

In addition to getting prepared for our destination, I’ll just tell you.  I’m plain ol’ excited!  I do like surprises, but there’s something to knowing what awaits you beforehand.

 -It’s the anticipation!

I long to go this place I’ve never been. - The place I’ve read about and imagined in my mind. - The place where dreams come true.  It’s the place where, in my mind, my family walks hand in hand with nothing to do but enjoy each other and our surroundings.

It kind of reminds me of our future destination-heaven.  Hopefully all those we love have made preparations to be there.  Since I know little about our vacation spot outside of what I’ve been told, I’m going to make sure I know about where I’m going. I have the airline tickets online; got to make sure we have those for each one of us.  And I’ll tell you something else.  I’m going to spend the time between now and our vacation, the waiting time, being expectant of the good times to come.  I will anticipate the experience that will be with us for a lifetime.

It took us a while to put the pieces together, but we stuck with it.  The message became clear quickly for Hayden as he saw a small section of the puzzle completed with the letters “sney”.  Hallie thought she knew, but was unsure.  And finally as Rylie slowly sounded out the word we all joined in merrymaking….

 

 

 

We’re going to Disney World!

....."Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second one is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself'  There is no commandment greater than these."     -Mark 12:30,31

The first commandment is impossible to keep without paying mind to the second one.

We can love God through prayer.

We can love God in song.

We can love God by reading the Bible.

We can love God and be inside those church walls every time the door is opened.

But when verse 3o says with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, he's saying -Love me with all that you say, with all you do, with all that you have, with all that you are. Our saying and doing involves people, like our neighbors.  So just who are our neighbors?

Every teacher could answer this question.  When I was teaching and had the children seated I would sometimes pose a question. "Why do you think it is helpful for lizards to change their color?-Discuss this with your neighbor."  Walking to lunch or PE I would remind the children before walking down the hall, "No talking to your neighbor".  And at lunchtime, "You may whisper to your neighbor". You can have neighbors that you keep, but neighbors change too. A person's neighbor is whoever is near.

It's hard to tangibly love God when we can't see him or touch him.  That's why I think it's brilliant that he calls us to love him through loving others; our neighbors.  With this being the case, we have opportunity to love him in the most tangible of ways.

I think there are two kinds of neighbors.

1.Heart Neighbors

2.Geographic Neighbors

Heart Neighbors are those like my Kenyan girls I mentioned in yesterday's post, "Sharing Shoes, Sharing Life".  Though I spent little time with them, they will always be near and dear to my heart.  Jason and I have moved farther from family and old friends with each move. We still communicate with these heart neighbors; we visit them now and then, we pray for them and have lovely memories which keep them close to our heart.  I have three little heart neighbors in the rooms surrounding my bedroom walls.  I hope to be able to make heart neighbors someday with someone on the other side of this screen; someone who is willing to share their experiences. Many heart neighbors stay with us throughout our lives.

Geographic Neighbors are constantly changing. You can go crazy with this.  A geographic neighbor could be the person in the lane beside you in their car.  How do you love that neighbor?  By not honking at them or by not being in such a hurry that you cut them off.  I learned from a geographic neighbor last week, a cashier at Wal-Mart, that she has five children and is going to night school in addition to her full-time job.  I learned this by simply asking how her day was going.  Giving high fives to children, smiling in passing, taking cookies to someone across the street, sitting with someone having a rough time, and sharing a word of encouragement to those we come into contact with are some of the most beautiful ways to love God.

A Geographic Neighbor could be the most unlikely neighbor, love them anyway.  It's the unlikely ones that often become heart neighbors.

"Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to me."-Matthew 25:40

It's time to start a world-sized block party.  -So many people to love.  Smile at your neighbor.  Strike up a conversation. Don't be shy. Let's get out there

-There's so much of God to love.

COMPANION POSTS

A WORLD OF NEIGHBORS-A DISCUSSION GUIDE

WHAT WE'RE DOING THIS SUMMER

AND

101 INEXPENSIVE THINGS TO DO THIS SUMMER LIST

 

 

 

 

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For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

-Psalm 139:13-15a

Most everybody knows and LOVES this verse.  I know it has been used to advocate for the unborn; I’ve used it that way myself.  While it speaks to the life that begins in the womb, it speaks beyond.  I remember thinking initially when Hayden was born, that he was perfect.  Ten perfect toes.  Perfect fingers that immediately grasped mine. That misconception was quickly killed.  I’ll never forget our shock when Hayden had that first “welcome to parenting” tarry black diaper that spilled over the sides as Jason and I (yes both of us) attempted to change him.  Jason went immediately to get the nurse; he jokes now that he thought Hayden was broken.  With each of our much adored children, we have had constant reminders that they’re not perfect, but they’re straight from God who has created them uniquely and according to his plan.  And that we can’t forget.

 

Diagnoses increase every year; new disorders are identified all the time. One disorder, dyslexia, has gained recognition over the last fifteen years. I have had the privilege of identifying and teaching intervention to students with dyslexia.  I never had the dream of teaching dyslexia, but twelve years ago I had a precious student who struggled learning to read and write.  He had a persistent and heart-broken mother who would stop at nothing to help him.  In my inadequacy and in fear of this mama bear who was confronting the problem, I found myself searching for the cause of his struggle and for ways to help him.  I won’t lie.  That was a rough year.  I will say though, that working with students with dyslexia, and their parents, has become a true passion of mine.  I hope to always convey some reality to those struggling with dyslexia:

  It doesn’t identify who you are.

  Though there is difficulty involved, don’t ignore the beauty that comes along with a brain that is wired differently. 

People with dyslexia are usually extraordinarily creative.  Their giftedness is many times overlooked. These children are often persistent, ambitious, curious, imaginative, with excellent reasoning; the list goes on.  The same is so with other disorders.

Going even further, whether it's dylexia ,or another disorder, a noticeable birthmark or being extraordinarily tall- those who are viewed as dissimilar are at times rejected or even pitied.    They are viewed as a spectacle; or sometimes face feeling isolated and ignored.   The way people stare and what we imagine people are thinking can get the best of us.  Whether we are discreet and secretive of our child’s difference, or we are angry at the world demanding everyone accept our child for the way she is, or both- the simple but vital question remains.

Is the way we view our child’s difference, in light of God’s good and perfect word? 

I’ve come to dislike the word disorder. One of my children has been diagnosed twice with a disorder.  I want to be familiar with the struggles that may come along with that diagnosis, and with ways to help my child, but it will not overwhelm who my child is.  She has ADHD.  He has Aspergers.  He has Bipolar Disorder.   To say that a child has a disorder can insinuate there was a malfunction in his ordering or in his formation; like something went wrong.

When we say along with the Psalm, I am wonderfully made; does that just refer to our parts which seem normal or like everybody else?

When God says he “knit us together” and that our frame “was not hidden from {him}” do we believe that; do we know it “full well”?

We may wonder what we did wrong or didn’t do right.  Or we blame God.

 Could it possibly be, that we what we see as different or label a disorder, God sees as having beautiful purpose?

My children are so diverse.  Hallie has a large space bubble; only few are welcomed inside.  I think the first sentence we taught her was "I need my space".  Hayden, on the other hand, wants to touch EVERYTHING. I have his permission in telling you all of this. When he was younger, I had to watch to make sure he didn’t touch the cake at a wedding.  He wanted to touch other people’s food.  One time at HEB he ran his hand along a shelf of small potted plants sending them to the floor, spilling everywhere.  I’ve been embarrassed at times, and other times angry, like the time someone criticized his touching all the cookies saying he put his germs on them.

I remember a specific moment when we were checking out at Wal-Mart, not that many years ago.  As my purchases were being sacked, I noticed Hayden lifting up the conveyor belt and looking under it touching what was underneath.  The lady behind us stared.  But at that moment, I felt God whisper that it was ok.  I began to think that maybe God created him to touch.  I can’t recall how many times his hug or an awkward arm around my shoulder has reminded me that I am loved as his mother.   He’s crafted some meaningful, beautiful gift with those hands. I’ve come to a thankful place where I believe God uses that gift of touch. It was in his plan all along.  God will use those hands to touch lives.  Though those hands will not always find themselves in God’s will, I will commit them to God’s use-he's the one who designed them.

If you’re still reading, you are maybe thinking of someone you know who has faced rejection because they didn't look, act or perform similar to those around them. You probably love someone who has been diagnosed with a disorder. Along with disorders and distinct differences comes struggle, I understand this.  But diversity is divine.

The child with Cerebral palsy is not like the other children.  He is not even like the other children with Cerebral Palsy.

  He is the perfectly- woven- together creation of God; knitted in unique fashion.

If those around us are to see that all children are marvelously made, we need to believe it ourselves.  You have been called to be that parent.  You have been called to pray for that parent.

Let’s ask God to help us in our struggle, be thankful for our difference, and to truly see the beauty that was made in the secret place

 

Pictured above:  This is a picture I got to snap playing with some girls in an orphanage in Kenya-one of the BEST times of my life.

Sweating is gross.  I don't do that.

-Words from Rylie when getting the kids from school Wednesday

 .  I wish it were that simple.  If only I could banish certain experiences and attitudes by deciding they were gross or undesirable.  I love her thinking.

Some things are just going to happen.  I'm going to sweat.  I'm going to have my occasional fails with my supper experiments.  I'm going to have bad hair days and the sinus infections will come and go.  No amount of determination and experience will rid me of these parts of life; I guess I can live with that.

Then there are those things I do-I choose to do, that I just can't seem to stop; that's a different story.  For instance, I choose to be grumpy.  Being sarcastic with my kids and Jason is a choice, I don't have to do that.  Watching unwholesome movies and shows on TV is a conscious decision, unlike sweating.  With each of these undesired behaviors I know, if not before, right when I'm doing it, that I shouldn't be doing it.  Why can't I stop?  Why do I even start?  I'm encouraged that Paul had the same problem.  Listen to him in Romans 7>

18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c]   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 

 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

We MUST come to a place daily, where we recognize that there is no good in us apart from God.  Try as we may, we are a resevoir and conduit of sin.  When we continue to try and free ourself from the clutches of sin we find our effort fruitless and frustrated. The- "If at first you don't succeed -try, try again" mentality is like banging your head against a brick wall (nothing is accomplished and you're left feeling damaged).

I think the problem may be that we focus too much on what WE can and can't do on our own effort.

We have a sinful nature, and we're going to, for the remainder of our time on this side of eternity.  Our hope, and any good that we can do comes only from Jesus.  His death on the cross was enough.  He said "it is finished".  He meant it. It's obviously good to try and refrain from wrongdoing. There is merit in trying to do good. But REMEMBER, trying to do good apart from a relationship with God is in vain.

 

Our effort must dissolve into a passion to know Christ more fully.  His grace covers our failures.  His goodness flows through our veins. 

 If we make Him our true focus, we have nothing to sweat.

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Families are one of God's most precious creations. While we ought to be honoring each God-designed member with love and respect, it's often our family members that see our worst side.  

Being free to be ourselves can sometimes get ugly.  Comfortable at home we often use our words carelessly.  Being in our castle, we find ourselves inclined to lose our patience with anyone who disturbs our peace or pleasure.  On the other end of the spectrum, our busyness prevents us from spending time together and enjoying one another. 

Hopefully you've gotten a chance to check out:

-the Family Contract

-and just for fun The Daughter of the Year Contract

 

Think about starting a Lovely List (pictured above) as a family project.  If the name isn't masculine enough, it could be called the Whatever List.  We have started one in our family.  It hangs on our refrigerator.  It's basically a lined piece of paper that has Philippians 4:8 on the bottom.

...whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.-Philippians 4:8

If Jason or I or even the kids notice something right, lovely or admirable we write it on the list.  It could be something positive that happened at school.  Seeing a flower or a blue sky and being reminded of beauty in God's creation could be noted.  Take notice of Your son saying thank you to his sister.  Our perspective is changed a bit when we are looking for lovely things instead of things to argue about or tattle on.

OBVIOUSLY, contracts, lists or any other creative ploy to bring about harmony is useless without constant prayer on our families behalf- (I'm reminding myself).

 

*Please share things you are doing with your family.  I'd love to hear from you!

I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Education.  According to degree requirements, you had to have two areas of specialization.  I love reading, so specializing in Reading was a no brainer.  My other choice was made with more creative thought.  Math was not my subject and I already had several Biology courses under my belt.  Biology seemed to be the easiest and most convenient route.  It's amazing how much you forget, but interesting the things you remember.  I still remember that Scrophulariaceae is the scientific family name for the common foxglove flower. When you least expect it, some seemingly useless piece of information like this pops into your head.

You may not have ever heard or cared about the scientific name for the foxglove, but I'm pretty sure you have heard of scavengers and parasites.  You have surely witnessed scavengers feeding off of dead organisms. It's also likely you've dealt parasites; organisms which have a self-beneficial relationship with a host which is entirely different (for example a flea on your furry friend).  Before I bore you to tears, I'll try to explain where I'm going with this. Oddly, I found some similarity between simple organism and inter-human relationships.

Parasites, as we know, are organisms that thrive by taking advantage of a host.  The parasite often grows, feeds or finds shelter from the other organism, often causing  it harm. The cute bird perched on the giraffe's neck in the picture above looks to be a pal.  The bird grooms the giraffe by ridding him of a hundred or more ticks, plus thousands of tick larvae daily. Surprisingly, in addition to the tick being a parasite, the bird is also said to be parasitic in relationship to the giraffe.  The bird, once it removes the ticks, feeds on the giraffe's blood and is also known to peck at the sight causing wounds.

Do you know people who suck the joy right out of you leaving you deflated or even wounded?

Often unintentionally, a critical spirit will search out a joyous host and attempt to sap the joy and then peck on the fresh wound. 

  This is often done with the misconception that sapping someone else's joy will increase your own, but it doesn't work that way.

Don't be a joy sapper!

Let's talk about scavengers.  We don't possibly know anyone who feasts on carnage, do we?  I've seen my share of buzzards and shudder at the thought of resembling one.  Scavengers feed off of their dead host to get energy and nourishment.

Does a nonliving host exist with humans?

If so, do we expect this host to sustain our life?  Hmmm.  Anybody want to talk about money?  Or maybe a new shirt or cute new pair of shoes?  There's nothing like entertainment to sustain me. "There's that movie I've been dying to see."  "If we could just fix the floors and get new countertops".  Why are we seemingly dependent on that which has no life.  Why do we feed on substance incapable of giving us life?

 Material possessions are often a life-filling substitution, but don't really foster growth, development or joy.

 

I find myself giddy when something random relates to who God is and what he does.  Honestly, it's probably not as random as I believe;

For since the creation of the world, God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made...

-Romans 1:20.

Even the imperfect things, such as parasites which do not seemingly reflect his glory- point us to Him.  He planned it all out perfectly.

So... ending on a brighter note, I have learned of a new type of symbiosis, or organism association.  I don't remember ever hearing the term before.

 Commensalism is a type of association between organisms where one organism benefits- leaving the other not harmed, but also not in need of it's host.  What got me excited in reading about this type of symbiosis is that the word made up of com and mensa  means "sharing a table".   One example would be barnacles which have access to nutrients in the water by fastening themselves to whales; dinner and a free cruise.

 I also read that in the Arctic tundra, caribous hunt by digging for lichen plants in the snow.  The Arctic fox follows the caribou, finding its underground prey which has been surfaced thanks to the caribou; a sort of perpetual "lunch is on me" relationship.  I don't remember learning about commensalism in Biology.  It reminds me of our relationship with God; so off balance with benefit to us. While he doesn't need us, he stoops down in order to be in relationship with us!

 He "shares a table" with us.

  This fact blows me away.  Hopefully God receives glory from me in the way that I live, but you know what?  If neither I, nor any person,  lived to bring him glory, "the rocks would cry out" (in his name) Luke 19:40.  He doesn't need us.  The whale and caribou are unintentionally beneficial. The bird and other parasites harm their hosts.  Scavengers have no relationship, but only feed on death. God has created us with the purpose of being in a loving, living relationship with us.  He enjoys us!

The imperfection that flaws my every earthly relationship, does not exist in my relationship with God; thanks be to Christ who makes this possible.

I am imperfect and can add nothing to the table in which God and I share.  The life I have so graciously been given is only sustained at his table.

.....love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.  For the LORD is your life....-Deuteronomy 30:20 

Picture above taken at Masai Mara Wildlife Reserve in Kenya.

 

 

Do the happy dance.  GG's is this Sunday!

5/27 @3:30- FBC Edu 102

Theme:Loving People, Loving God

Things to do this Summer

We'll be making a surprise craft.

Devotion:A World of Neighbors

See you there!!!

To get you in the groove- A new discovered song that I love-

This is the Stuff by Francesca Battisteli

Mess or blessed?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe4SckesWLE&ob=av2e