Tag Archives: preteen

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Modesty.

I don't bring up this topic because I'm an expert on it.  I don't bring it up because I'm the perfect example.  I bring it up because I have a teenage son and a preteen daughter.  I bring it up because I have a soon to be seven-year old. I want to be sure I'm bringing her up as "wholesomely" as possible. I write about this....... because I want my children to be modest.

What exactly is modesty?

The second definition given by Merriam Webster is "propriety in dress, speech or conduct".  This is the definition I am familiar with.  This is the definition that has me asking the question "what not to wear", but the first given definition begs for a closer look.

mod.es.ty -

1 : freedom from conceit or vanity

In order for our young people to acquire a modest mindset, we have to go deeper than the style swimsuit we allow them to wear.  We have to consider more than whether or not to let them wear makeup (though these decisions are important too).  We have to go to the heart.

Being a preteen and even teen is difficult.  These years are often defined by a time when  "children" are struggling with not feeling "good enough". This is common if not the rule. How kids view themselves and how they feel they are viewed by others becomes all-consuming. -Not that this can't be an issue with adults (who think that bad hair days are bad days).  Can I get an amen?

As a parent, I know that I would do most anything to bandage their fragile hearts.  I'm afraid though, that even meaning well, in seeking to bolster my kids self-confidence I have jumped on the "How to make your kid feel like they're the prettiest/most handsome/funniest/most athletic/intelligent ... bandwagon.

I have bandaged  this heart wound of not feeling good enough with lip gloss and a new outfit. I have Scooby Doo band-aided this pain with one too many compliments, and dismissiveness to inappropriate dress or even attitude from my kids.

Could it be that my well-meaning compliments and allowances have encouraged my kids to be.....conceited or vain? Have I unintentionally taught them to think and focus on themselves?

If modesty is the freedom from conceit or vanity, then how are they to be free when I make it my goal to ensure their security by helping them "dress" their way to a better image.

Immodesty, I believe, starts on the inside. Immodesty is being held captive to thoughts of oneself. It becomes visible as inappropriate speech and dress becomes apparent.

Vanity is simply a condition which derives from a heart that knows it's "not good enough" and seeks to "feel good enough".

What if we help our children forget about turning heads. What if we help them to look up instead of constantly looking in the mirror.

Psalm 119:37

Your thoughts?

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Possibly you've seen pictures floating around of some precious girls with a pink plastic flamingo? That's Grace. Grace the flamingo has become a mascot of sorts for our community of girls referred to as God's Girlies. And there's something I'd like you to know about her.

She's pink.  Like many beautiful flamingos, she's really PINK.

Girls dig the color pink, but more importantly a bright pink flamingo has something to tell. It's a well-known fact that flamingos get their pretty pink hue from their diet.  Yes.  Flamingos eat tiny shrimp-like creatures (also pink) which are rich in carotene.

You are what you eat.

The fancy birds are as pink as the substance they consume.  You will find flamingos with pale pink or white feathers too. Malnourished flamingos are dull in color.  And these birds when held captive don't have that pretty pink coloring; that is unless those caring for them supplement their diet with food rich in carotene.

What are you consuming? 

Are you being filled with the word of God; being filled with his spirit?  Or are you being held captive by the world, thus unfulfilled.

Are you malnourished?  Do you try to get by with a skimpy diet of prayer and bible study?

It's also important to know that when flamingos are looking for their partner they choose the brightly colored flamingos as the company more desired.  That's no surprise to me.

Do you have that glow that attracts people to you?  Can those around you see the brightness of Jesus in you?

Grace.

Sure she's just a plastic bird; a mere model of an extravagant pink bird. But she reminds me of the real beauty.

And that's food for thought.

 

Idea for parents:

Pinkalicious is a cute story where a young girl eats one too many cupcakes.  The cupcakes are pink and unhealthy.  As she consumes the cupcakes (even sneaking one after her mom has said "no more") she begins to take on a pink hue and an attitude.  She has to change her diet to green vegetables to return to a healthy, lovable happy young lady.

I'm thinking this book could bring about some great discussion and maybe even some kitchen fun.

Pinkalicious is written by Victoria and Elizabeth Kann.

 

Click on the link to check out some pictures of Grace and our girls.  All the photos are taken locally.  Try to guess where they're taken.  http://kristiburden.com/?p=1281